jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
Women who rebel, but then they do accept...
I've seen this starting with my mother, and found it in other women in my life.
When they are told something they don't agree with (or they actually behave like they don't), they go into rebellion mode, but soon after they just follow/accept the decision with "annoyance", "protest".
Examples:
A) my father tells my mother to let him cook breakfast alone in the morning, and she promptly starts doing things in the kitchen when he starts, as if out of spite. So he renewed his request and she replied: "ah, now this too?! Look, nothing can be done anymore inside this house" or "Oh so now this too? It's not possible to do anything inside this house"... So she went into another room all angry.
Then, after a week or two, now in the morning he has time to make breakfast, but she still breaks up with him about it. It's as if she lets him do it, but this comes at a significant cost and she reminds him of it. As if he hadn't accepted it.
B) my BIL tells my sister that 3 nights a week, at 7pm, after work, he will go to the gym, work out, shower, and then come home for dinner.
My sister: "So who will take care of the kids? You're always leaving me to do everything alone, so you can make dinner by yourself when you get home from the gym."
For a day or two he cooked dinner himself, but then she started cooking dinner again.
Again, she seems to do as he tells him, but continues to give him grief about it, even in front of family or friends saying how "the 4ssh0le went to the gym and I have to make dinners and watch the kids."
C) my retired uncle tells my aunt that he will add some clients to his gardening hobby and that he will be home by 1pm instead of 12pm, every day. My aunt: "you're old, you should stop getting so tired and then eating at 1pm is too late, you shouldn't do it, I warned you".
He will do it and instead of having lunch at 12 as usual, she will have lunch at 1pm waiting for him, yet it seems as if she is annoyed by this thing, even if when she went to the office she ate lunch at 2 or 3pm, so it has never been a problem for her to have lunch late.
So she will follow and eat at 1pm with him...but she will be so "happy" to remeber this to him and his family or friends.
Now, other examples could definitely be given too.. I'm pretty sure you have other examples too..
But what is happening here? These are mostly LTR's
The man does something, a behavior, an action, a habit that the woman "does not accept", or "has a hard time accepting", or "accepts with resentment" or "accepts by bringing it out when she has to criticize him", whether it is in front of family, friends, or otherwise.
But at the end of the anger, the woman recalibrates herself and will accept this behavior.
The relevant things I noticed happening from this are:
1) Although the woman accepts this new "condition", she will have done so only after having expressed that she "does not agree"
2) Although the woman accepts this new "condition" and so she disagree, she will "renew" her disagreement at appropriate moments such as those of difficulty in the relationship.
3) When the man has a new thing, or a change in the relationship, he must always and necessarily accept and tolerate the fact that his woman has an "emotional reaction", knowing that after this reaction, that could either be positive or negative, it will lead to the subsequent acceptance of the thing by her. So it doesn't matter how her reaction actually is, good, bad, exaggerated, silent, etc.. All the women accepted it at the end.
Now in Italy, this is something that is 90% present in relationships.
I don't know the situation in other places, but here this is how people in relationships, men and women behave towards each other. It's simply common to hear the woman talk about her husband "That 4ssh0le is playing football with his friends today", rather than "Yes, Mario went to his weekly meeting with his friends, he really needed it, he really likes it".
In my experience, hearing the second phrase is really not very common. Personally, I've never heard this firsthand.
I know more than 20 couples between 20 and 50 years old. The script it's the same.
What is happening here?
I've seen this starting with my mother, and found it in other women in my life.
When they are told something they don't agree with (or they actually behave like they don't), they go into rebellion mode, but soon after they just follow/accept the decision with "annoyance", "protest".
Examples:
A) my father tells my mother to let him cook breakfast alone in the morning, and she promptly starts doing things in the kitchen when he starts, as if out of spite. So he renewed his request and she replied: "ah, now this too?! Look, nothing can be done anymore inside this house" or "Oh so now this too? It's not possible to do anything inside this house"... So she went into another room all angry.
Then, after a week or two, now in the morning he has time to make breakfast, but she still breaks up with him about it. It's as if she lets him do it, but this comes at a significant cost and she reminds him of it. As if he hadn't accepted it.
B) my BIL tells my sister that 3 nights a week, at 7pm, after work, he will go to the gym, work out, shower, and then come home for dinner.
My sister: "So who will take care of the kids? You're always leaving me to do everything alone, so you can make dinner by yourself when you get home from the gym."
For a day or two he cooked dinner himself, but then she started cooking dinner again.
Again, she seems to do as he tells him, but continues to give him grief about it, even in front of family or friends saying how "the 4ssh0le went to the gym and I have to make dinners and watch the kids."
C) my retired uncle tells my aunt that he will add some clients to his gardening hobby and that he will be home by 1pm instead of 12pm, every day. My aunt: "you're old, you should stop getting so tired and then eating at 1pm is too late, you shouldn't do it, I warned you".
He will do it and instead of having lunch at 12 as usual, she will have lunch at 1pm waiting for him, yet it seems as if she is annoyed by this thing, even if when she went to the office she ate lunch at 2 or 3pm, so it has never been a problem for her to have lunch late.
So she will follow and eat at 1pm with him...but she will be so "happy" to remeber this to him and his family or friends.
Now, other examples could definitely be given too.. I'm pretty sure you have other examples too..
But what is happening here? These are mostly LTR's
The man does something, a behavior, an action, a habit that the woman "does not accept", or "has a hard time accepting", or "accepts with resentment" or "accepts by bringing it out when she has to criticize him", whether it is in front of family, friends, or otherwise.
But at the end of the anger, the woman recalibrates herself and will accept this behavior.
The relevant things I noticed happening from this are:
1) Although the woman accepts this new "condition", she will have done so only after having expressed that she "does not agree"
2) Although the woman accepts this new "condition" and so she disagree, she will "renew" her disagreement at appropriate moments such as those of difficulty in the relationship.
3) When the man has a new thing, or a change in the relationship, he must always and necessarily accept and tolerate the fact that his woman has an "emotional reaction", knowing that after this reaction, that could either be positive or negative, it will lead to the subsequent acceptance of the thing by her. So it doesn't matter how her reaction actually is, good, bad, exaggerated, silent, etc.. All the women accepted it at the end.
Now in Italy, this is something that is 90% present in relationships.
I don't know the situation in other places, but here this is how people in relationships, men and women behave towards each other. It's simply common to hear the woman talk about her husband "That 4ssh0le is playing football with his friends today", rather than "Yes, Mario went to his weekly meeting with his friends, he really needed it, he really likes it".
In my experience, hearing the second phrase is really not very common. Personally, I've never heard this firsthand.
I know more than 20 couples between 20 and 50 years old. The script it's the same.
What is happening here?