Women on Romance Novel Heros

[everywomanshero]

I'll spare you guys my own interpretations, instead giving you the female responses. I'll also bold some of the areas that you will find humerous, reinforcing, or interesting. I'll also put in my own witty comments in Italic

Here goes:

Gal #1
I think the reason women enjoy "romance" and the men often portrayed in "romantic" movies and books is because we want to feel "special" like we are "the one".

I don't think those ideas are very realistic; but, that is why they appeal to us, or at least me. Maybe I should say used to appeal to me. They really don't much any more. I've finally discovered that men who often make you feel "special" in real life and act like the characters are fakes and often out right jerks. The guy who can barely muster a compliment and will voluteer to change your oil is more likely to be sincere and the real keeper.In other words, she ultimately settled for a safe guy to take care of her once the being swept off her feet stage was completed..

For some women, especially when we are younger, somehow the drama and the angst makes "love" and "romance" seem more "real" and "special". As though if the guy makes this big sacrifice by giving up his playboy ways or by "rescuing" the damsel or because a tear trickles down his check on cue he's somehow PROVING that the female lead is the ONLY woman on Earth who could bring this out in him, be this perfcet and special to him.Making women feel special will be resounding theme that overrides any playboy ways, not to mention the scarcity advantage he has by being desired by so many.

I think it comes down to wanting a guy to "prove" how much he loves you. To somehow manage to quantify and qualify love so we feel more secure in giving love in return. We push and test men and we enjoy watching or reading of women pushing and testing men because it appeals to our need for safety and security.

To those unversed in the reality of love it creates a false sense of control over something one actually has no control over.

I think most women do eventually realize that wanting "proof" or expecting grand gestures and sacrafices and that expecting a guy to be a character just isn't realistic. For some, like myself, it eventually means you just can't appreciate the cheesy romance characters any more. For others, they remain a fun distraction, much like a swimsuit calander or porn for a guy, as another poster pointed out.

 

[everywomanshero]

Finally, that a strong, powerful man's energy would be a powerful protector of women and her children if she can tame him with her love.

Girl #2
Well, first I don't know much about James Dean. Probably not much real attraction there, for me. And I've read only a few romance novels, and generally avoid them - they turn me off, actually. I like movies and reading material to stimulate my intellect, challenge me to think; not numb my brain cells with mindless entertainment.

Reading your queries, I wondered if you believe that women actually desire to have those romance heroes in their real lives... I believe not. I compare it (women reading romance novels) to men who like to read/watch porn. They might get turned on by the photo spreads and porn actresses, but these characters are generally not their first choice of a life partner.

<<<Like James Dean, to me, he seems like he's kind of wussy and cries a lot in
East of Eden. Yet, He is self-reliant when it comes to getting his fathers
money back, and he has this strange, mysterious power to attract hispanic
women in the movie. From a feminine viewpoint, why is his character appealing?>>

I can see why this character is appealing - he's not afraid to show his emotions. He's secure enough in his masculinity to realize that being sensitive and emotional isn't a threat to his manhood. I, and most other women, LOVE that. "Real men don't cry," some people say. Well, yes, *real men* DO cry.There might be some truth to this, I think it's sort of like why my girl's like me to wear pink

<<<...they like him to be just a little on the wild side because that translates into not being 'too nice' in the bedroom.>>>

Ah, just porn for the female imagination, really. That "wild side," to me, translates further than just hot sex - it also means he's a bit mysterious, spontaneous, not afraid to take risks.Holy shyt, I'm eliciting her values without trying

<<<Also, if a woman can tame a guy that's not looking to settle down, it's a much bigger ego boost than a man who is clearly looking to exit the dating scene already.>>>

Yes, because the guy who's hell-bent against marriage, and then is tamed by love, has fallen for the ONLY woman who's ever been able to make him feel that way. He loves her SOOOO much he'd willingly give up the single life to be with her. What a huge turn-on. OTOH, the man who is clearly looking for a wife might settle for the first prospect who might somewhat meet his needs. How can this wife be sure her guy loves her as much as the tamed bachelor? Exactly why we qualify and don;t hide the fact that we are in demand

<<<Finally, that a strong, powerful man's energy would be a powerful protector of women and her children if she can tame him with her love.>>>

Good observation, I think, most likely rooted in physiology, evolution and Darwin's theory. That part, at least, might be dead-on the mark.

 

[everywomanshero]

Girl #3
To me fictional characters, either on film or books are nothing like a real man. I do not enjoy romance novel at all. I prefer to read a good drama. Regardless, I find that if a character is a strong man, a little wild, and a little difficult to tame, it will hold my interest much better than a man that is more like James Dean. As a matter of fact, I got one of those men. I should make her define what she considers a strong man who is a little wild, but I am too lazy right now.

Girl #4
James Dean was what in the 50's? Women roles and expectations have changed a lot in the last 40 or 50 years. Also movies and romance novels are fantasy not reality. She tends to believe in cultural basis through socialization of attraction over innate, biological reasons. I've got other posts out there on this if anyone is interested.

I personally don't like romance novels because the guys are pretty much jerks who are saved by the "right womans" love, which is complete hogwash. In my opinion too many women buy into this crap and get treated very badly in real life because they are going to be "the one" that makes him change. Their love will overcome all obstacles (gag) Personally I'd rather read a Stephen King or Dean Koontz novel and wouldn't really want to be with any of the characters. Note while She's saying it's hogwash to her, yet it works all too often

Provider and protector? Well to me that goes way beyond the standard ideal of provider and protector. Yeah, theres the physical aspects of providing and protecting but in the long run it is more important that a man provides caring, intimacy, encouragement and love to his partner and children. In that way he protects them physically, spiritually and emotionally. The saying is that "the best gift a man can give his children is to love their mother." That's how a guy is a great provider and protector. I use this as a quote on my experimental dating profiles

Maybe I'm a little weird but I find all different kinds of men appealing. Intelligent, well educated, interesting/interested in a variety of things. Doesen't matter to me if he is a teacher, physicist, archeologist or a construction worker. It's more important that he's decent than that he is some game player that has to be won over through the love and self sacrifice of the "right woman."

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Don't confuse guys in romantic movies to ones in romantic novels. The ones in the movies are marketed to the masses as the stylized "nice guy on a white horse." (Bleh...) However, in more of the tawdry novels the male romantic protagonist is usually a DJ in the truest sense.

They are the "bad boy's" who seem to be able to get any woman he wants and he knows it. Although he dates many women he is not truly available because none of them are up to par in his book. He qualifies them constantly and they try to live up to his expectations but they majority fall short. One day a woman crosses his path that changes that forever.

If you're wondering, I did a study on this last year for school. It's very interesting to learn what truly drives a woman subconsciously.

 

[Hawke]

Any chance you could share some of that insight Francisco.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Any chance you could share some of that insight Francisco.

In a nutshell, good (effective) romance novels allow women to project themselves into the female protagonist's character and live out their raunchy and socially taboo fantasies.

There's a somewhat common fantasy that many (perhaps most) women have that equates in stereotypical sexual taboo in the likes of that of men wanting to be with two women at the same time. Anyone care to venture a guess as to what that may be?

 

[Bvbidd]

Rape

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Rape

Bingo! Actually, the underlying sexual aspect of it, not necessarily physical control of it. This would include:

• Being "taken"
• Being "ravished"
• Having a guy overcome by his own lust for her.
• The taudriness of the limits that "being taken" removes from typical "love making."
• The ability to be less sexually inhibited.
• Allows her to use more imagination.

Mind you, not all women realize this or at least will admit to it. However if described in a particular way BEFORE labeling it as rape will surprisingly (to both you and the woman) pique her interest AND delve into subconscious desires.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
Mind you, not all women realize this or at least will admit to it. However if described in a particular way BEFORE labeling it as rape will surprisingly (to both you and the woman) pique her interest AND delve into subconscious desires.

What?? No comments?

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Um...so if women fantasise about being raped, how come they dont enjoy getting raped?


I know what you mean though, romance novels seem to involve violent sex quite a lot...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Um...so if women fantasise about being raped, how come they dont enjoy getting raped?


I know what you mean though, romance novels seem to involve violent sex quite a lot...

It's about an extreme level of intimacy, trust and passion. A typical rape is not about any of those things.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

Um...so if women fantasise about being raped, how come they dont enjoy getting raped?

That's why it's a fantasy. No one ever said women were logical.
This reminds me of the scene in Gone With the Wind when a drunk Rhett Butler carries Scarlett up the stairs. First time I saw that scene (I must've been all of 10 or 12 years old) I asked my mom what happened. She said that he RAPED her. However, look at Scarlett's demeanor the next morning. Very satisfied, smile a mile wide, singing. She looked as though Rhett made her *** 100 times.
Now I always logically assumed rape was a vile, controlling, filthy act.
I'm not knocking the vile nature of rape, violation, and the like. But based on what my mom classified as rape, I was confused as all hell. Why was Scarlett SOOOO happy and satisfied?

 

[Blue Phoenix]

This book may be of great help:

Anne Krentz - Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women
(Romance Writers on The Appeal of The Romance)