I think a lot of this nice guy vs badboy stuff becomes confusing because we talk about women as if they are all the same. I think there are really 2 types of women. You have stability seeking women, and you have sensation seeking women. Most women under 25 are in the latter category, so all the stuff like being a bad boy, being C+F, being a challenge, maybe even a jerk appeals to them more. But as they get older, they start to eventually shift over to stability-seeking women that start to look for the type of qualities that would make a guy a good father for their their future kids, and then that badboy rapper or tattoed jerk riding on a chopper isn't as appealing.
The sensation-seeking woman look for her guy to be primarily a source of entertainment. The second he stops being a source of entertainment, she's breaking up with him and looking for a new guy that's more entertaining. The stability-seeking woman is looking for genuine companionship and family down the road. You can browse women's profiles online and pretty quickly surmise what category they fall into. The first say things like, "I want a guy that's spontaneous, always knows how to make me laugh, always surprises me, sweeps me off my feet, can dance, is adventurous, etc etc". Of course I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. Then the stability-seeking woman will say something like "I am looking for a guy that's emotionally mature, intelligent, stable, polite, loyal, honest, a family man, is a good communicator, etc." I think nearly all women eventually end up in the later category but they arrive there at different times. It seems to me that in this generation, the age that the transformation happens is later than it was for our parents, and their parents. I browse myspace sometimes and I'm thinking, damn, these women are 30 years old and here they are attention-whoring on myspace showing off their ass and cleavage to the world. A generation ago, women this age were too busy with their own families to be bothered with such a thing had it existed.
I've read a number of different theories, from the PUA stuff like Mystery or DeAngelo to the "Mars and Venus" type stuff more suited for relationship minded people. Both seem to be at complete odds with one another yet they both make complete sense in their own right. While I think there are certain things that the DJ scene teaches that ALL men regardless of age and mindstate should adopt, things like always being the man, never being the wuss, always taking charge things like that, I think we need to be careful about applying DJ/PUA methodologies to women who have passed their sensation-seeking phase. I think first you need to figure out what type of woman you are targetting. If it's the sensation-seeker, then the DJ/PUA material is going to be best used and poured on heavy. If you're looking for the stability-seeker, then tone down the DJ/PUA stuff and incorporate more of the Mars vs. Venus stuff. And by Mars vs. Venus I'm referring to the series of books and philosophy that started with the book "Men are from Mars women are from Venus" that guides men more toward the nicer guy stuff and being better communicators of their feelings and all that. BOTH are useful, just at different stages and depending on what you are targetting. Many PUAs are great at putting notches on their bedpost but know nothing about how to have a healthy relationship. And unfortunately, many guys who want to have a healthy relationship don't know much about the art of pickup so they don't even get to the point of having that relationship. So both have their uses.
So the overall point I'm making is that we can't talk about women as if they are ALL the same and are motivated by the same things. Try to be too DJ with a woman looking for a serious relationship and it may backfire. Know who you're dealing with first.
The sensation-seeking woman look for her guy to be primarily a source of entertainment. The second he stops being a source of entertainment, she's breaking up with him and looking for a new guy that's more entertaining. The stability-seeking woman is looking for genuine companionship and family down the road. You can browse women's profiles online and pretty quickly surmise what category they fall into. The first say things like, "I want a guy that's spontaneous, always knows how to make me laugh, always surprises me, sweeps me off my feet, can dance, is adventurous, etc etc". Of course I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. Then the stability-seeking woman will say something like "I am looking for a guy that's emotionally mature, intelligent, stable, polite, loyal, honest, a family man, is a good communicator, etc." I think nearly all women eventually end up in the later category but they arrive there at different times. It seems to me that in this generation, the age that the transformation happens is later than it was for our parents, and their parents. I browse myspace sometimes and I'm thinking, damn, these women are 30 years old and here they are attention-whoring on myspace showing off their ass and cleavage to the world. A generation ago, women this age were too busy with their own families to be bothered with such a thing had it existed.
I've read a number of different theories, from the PUA stuff like Mystery or DeAngelo to the "Mars and Venus" type stuff more suited for relationship minded people. Both seem to be at complete odds with one another yet they both make complete sense in their own right. While I think there are certain things that the DJ scene teaches that ALL men regardless of age and mindstate should adopt, things like always being the man, never being the wuss, always taking charge things like that, I think we need to be careful about applying DJ/PUA methodologies to women who have passed their sensation-seeking phase. I think first you need to figure out what type of woman you are targetting. If it's the sensation-seeker, then the DJ/PUA material is going to be best used and poured on heavy. If you're looking for the stability-seeker, then tone down the DJ/PUA stuff and incorporate more of the Mars vs. Venus stuff. And by Mars vs. Venus I'm referring to the series of books and philosophy that started with the book "Men are from Mars women are from Venus" that guides men more toward the nicer guy stuff and being better communicators of their feelings and all that. BOTH are useful, just at different stages and depending on what you are targetting. Many PUAs are great at putting notches on their bedpost but know nothing about how to have a healthy relationship. And unfortunately, many guys who want to have a healthy relationship don't know much about the art of pickup so they don't even get to the point of having that relationship. So both have their uses.
So the overall point I'm making is that we can't talk about women as if they are ALL the same and are motivated by the same things. Try to be too DJ with a woman looking for a serious relationship and it may backfire. Know who you're dealing with first.