Women intimidated with what you've built

[CaptFinnBad]

I'm sure most of you guys are in the same boat as me. You've nailed down finances, have a house, passions, build a solid life where you're not really dependent on others.

Over time I've noticed this freaks the **** out of women. At some point or another when they realise you've built a rock solid life for yourself.

I've had this a quite a few times over the years. I swear these women are delusional, live in some fantasy world that they are hanging on to the idea of meeting a man that's capable of achieving in life but has actually put building a secure and solid life on hold until he meets her.

It's just funny when the penny drops when they actually realise what you've built and what that entails.

It's like they have an internal melt down when your success destroys their delusional thinking and their sense of security.

For example I was with a women trying to lock me down in an exclusive relationship on the weekend.

We were talking and I was just letting talk not really reacting or saying much. Her hamster started spinning , when she started to fantasies to me what a life would look like together.

Then the penny dropped. She would be slotting into the world I build for myself. Almost in panic she said something along the line near of, "everything is already yours, you have it all and I would be slotting into your life, we would be building nothing together ".

I didn't say much. She was obviously right. I just noticed her sense of "security" crumble. A realisation in her head if we did get into something serious, if it didn't work out , my life would be solid , she would have nothing.

First world problems. But over the years I've noticed this pattern with women. It messes with them when they realise what I've build and they would just be an addition to that.

How do you guys navigate this ? As in the insecurities it triggers in women.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Very interesting take,

Haven't heard this type of analysis.

First thing that comes to mind is are they afraid of not getting half the stuff post-divorce? Is that why they want to "build with you?"

That's a rather cynical and pragmatic viewpoint and it's almost always more complex.

But maybe you're dealing with the typical control freak type of chick. Plus you still have plenty to build in theory. What about a family? What about a community? If they think that you are just well-off, it's cool but they need to understand that there is much more to build and that there is plenty for them to contribute...

I just posted on another thread where some guy was saying "now what? I got the house, money and plates" type of thing. And I said, great, now focus on the spiritual side of things...

There's always higher levels to life... Maybe the women you're dealing with don't see the potential for exploring these higher levels with you and have a narrow perspective on what their role will be in your life and possibly you have the same perspective.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It was a comfort test. Every woman has moments of doubt, and if she truly views you as a high-value man, she’ll start to wonder if her own value measures up, and whether she even stands a chance with you, especially when your SMV is higher than hers.

Deep down, women instinctively sense when a man is far beyond their league. If she rates herself a 3/10, she understands that a 9/10 guy is more likely to pursue her 7/10 friend instead of her. Most of the time, they’ll step back and disqualify themselves as a way to protect their social standing. If you’ve spent time with a girl who at first believed you were within her SMV range, but then you begin to display even higher levels of value, some women will start to feel uncertain. For instance, a girl who sees herself as a 6 or 7 might initially view you as an 8, but as the night progresses, she realizes you might actually be a 10. Suddenly, she worries, “What if a 9/10 woman comes along and takes him? Is he really that interested in me? Have I been undervaluing myself?” She still wants you, but she’s cautious about risking looking foolish by pursuing someone who might be out of her league.

Typical comfort tests usually hint or sometimes outright say that she’s worried you might leave her, that she’s not attractive enough for you, or that another girl could easily steal you away. Your job is to ease those fears, reassure her with validation, and boost her confidence just enough so she feels certain you’re still within her reach.

 

[zekko]

Then the penny dropped. She would be slotting into the world I build for myself. Almost in panic she said something along the line near of, "everything is already yours, you have it all and I would be slotting into your life, we would be building nothing together ".

I'm wondering why she would say something like that, and the only reason I can come up with is that she was trying to get you to reassure her about her insecurities.

First thing that comes to mind is are they afraid of not getting half the stuff post-divorce? Is that why they want to "build with you?"

That's a possibility. If you marry a woman with nothing and then get divorced, that's when the judge is going to decide you need to provide care for her.

 

[Beyond It]

Yes because no women want a rich guy or house or security. She wasn’t attracted to you enough. Or likes you but felt no desire.
You would be serious bragging rights to her friends.