"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Women having fun and being playful or something else?

Canadian Catnip

Senior Don Juan
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Hi guys, I need some advice here tonight. I'm an older guy of 45, lately I've notices this young women that works at a coffee shop I go to has been trying to get to know me.

I'm a regular there, I go in there a few nights a week to read or write in my journal. I never try to come on to any of the female staff in there because it looks kinda creepy and I want to continue to go in there regularly and not be seen as a creepy old man.

Lately one of the girls who works there started talking to me. Asking me what I was writing and asked me my name and all that stuff.

Now when I go in there she says hi and if I get a coffee refill she gives it to me for free. She gave me some other stuff for free as well like a brownie from the display.

Here is the strange part. The other night I went in there and she shows me this stuffed animal she got in a bar. She told me all about how she found it on the floor of a bar the other night and she took it home and washed it and now it was hers.

I chatted a bit with her and then she puts the stuffed animal on the counter right beside where I am sitting and props it up against a lamp so it's about a foot from me. She asks me to watch it for her.

She is always playful like that when I am in there and I always play around with her. She came over later and put a beer in the stuffed animal's hands as if it was drinking it, then she took it away.

She came back and chatted for a bit and then left to go to do some other things.

She is always playful like that whenever I go in there. I've wondered what this is all about. As an older guy I wonder if she just sees me as a father figure or if there is something else going on there.

I don't want to ask her out because I go into this coffee shop all the time. As I said earlier, I don't want to be that creepy guy.

Any suggestions from some of the older guys on meeting young women in their early twenties that are always playful with you. Anyone know what is the best thing for me to do here?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Casually

Don Juan
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That's a tricky situation. You could try upping the kino, if you're in a position to touch her. Women like to flirt all the time, but you can usually tell how much they're really into you by how she reacts to your touch. Does she move away from you or close off her body language to you, or does she seem open to your touch, and reciprocate?

You could also try the Charisma Arts approach and give her an SOI the next time she does something you appreciate, like "I think it's sexy that you look after lost stuffed animals. I really appreciate that about you." 'Sexy' is a pretty loaded word, so if she responds positively to your compliment, she may be interested in something more.
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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Have a real conversation with her. Ask her about herself. Who she is and what she does. Build on that convo. Offer her to have coffee with you on your break so you can finish your conversation, if she refuses or waffles, leave it. And just continue to have conversations with her and chalk it up as a lost. At least you made overt action that was in a decent and respectful manner and if she didn't respond...don't stress it. You can still come there for coffee and just act the same way you always do. Changing your behavior and focus to her after she refused your overt action is what is defined as "creepy". Just be nonchalant about it. Be cool player! lol. Good luck.
 
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