Women gaining weight in LTRs/marriages

[Michael Chief]

Asking this to research for an article. Has anyone here been in a situation where your girlfriend or wife gained any significant weight after getting comfortable in your LTR or marriage, but was able to successfully get in shape again?

Why and how did she do it? Did you play any part in that?

 

[Foe]

Yes and yes. It was a constant chore and it worked, we were together for 16 years and I was basically her personal trainer.

Since we split 6 years ago shes gained a ****ton of weight and resents me for it. Im personally not fussed, I date fit chicks now and flag any chick that looks like she doesn't know how to look after herself. It's a thankless task I would not sign up for again.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Has anyone here been in a situation where your girlfriend or wife gained any significant weight after getting comfortable in your LTR or marriage, but was able to successfully get in shape again?

Yes. My wife gained 40lbs or so and stayed fat for some years after the baby too. I happened to be fat at this time also.

When I got in shape, my wife did too. I'm definitely in better shape than she is, but that's not the point. She's lost 30 of those 40lbs.

Passive dread does wonderful things. I tried getting her to lose weight for years without success... but when I started getting too much attention from other girls, she started shaping up.


If she's getting in shape without you, it's because she's getting in shape for someone else.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Not personally experienced that because I dated fit girls who aimed at staying fit enough to remain desirable, but I've seen it happen a lot.

Most of it fits a certain pattern - the woman would be sexy and juicy, but she struggled to keep her weight down. Then during an LTR/Marriage she stopped struggling against the weight gain and get out of shape, then the sex would be replaced by eating 'comfort food', then the LTR spiralled downward, and suddenly the woman started struggling to get her weight under control again.

Just 3-6 month prior to initiating divorce.

 

[LTG71]

My buddy has a great catch phrase for this dynamic, “date weight“ vs “mate weight.” When people are dating, they put in their best effort to become desirable. Once they find someone, they become complacent and let themselves go. My wife had three kids so it took forever and a day for her to lose the weight. Never back to pre-pregnancy levels. In our social circles, I see a majority of women in the same predicament. There are a few that managed to slim down but it was only from their own relentless effort. We used to go to a family gym near our house and I agree passive dread was the biggest motivator. Me suggesting she looked “fat” would be a recipe for resentment. Her seeing other ladies around the pool was enough.

Now she tries to eat better and bought herself a treadmill. She just got on some kick to walk 10000 steps everyday and lift almost pointlessly light weights. I guess that but is better than nothing.

 

[SW15]

I think the biggest issues with weight gain come after the wedding day and often after the first child is born.

I think it is less common for weight gain to be an issue in an LTR with no children and no marriage. It can happen though. I could see it happening more with 5+ year long relationships and with aging (40s/50s+, orthopedic type surgeries, and poor post-surgery rehabs).

 

[The Duke]

My ex-wife gained weight after we got married. I told her if I wanted a fat girl I would have got one to start with. End of discussion. It worked, she started going to the gym.

My last LTR gained 10-15lbs and still looked good. I never said anything but I stopped complimenting her on her looks as much. she started eating better and exercising a little and lost it all. She didn't like the way she looked either.

A woman having a nice body is very important to me. No muffin tops for me.

 

[MatureDJ]

I remember a gal that went from 105# to 160# in the span of 2 years (without any kids) after marriage. I mean, she started her new, "expansive" diet at the wedding reception.