Women flaking like crazy. I'm going by the book. WTF?

[8ball]

Well, these dates are all set up via internet matchmaking site and then phone call.

That might have something to do w/ it. If the woman has never met you in person, it may lead to a higher probability of flaking.

It sure seems that way.

I don't ask them out until they hint at it. ( i.e. 'Well, I'm going to be in your area Saturday and I'm going to have some spare time. Here's my number..call me.' ) <--That's a big hint, right?

I never ask for a number, they always volunteer it. I play it laid back and cool. I set up a date..they are like , ' I can't wait to meet you' etc. etc.

Then..it never fails..on day of date: BAM! You can't get a hold of her..she becomes unavailable, she has some emergency, she has to reschedule.

WTF is this bull$hit? I'm not acting needy. I don't call unless I HAVE to to set up date..I dont' talk to the woman for more than 5-10 minutes.

They just flake. Totally unexpected.

Is there something I'm missing here? Should I act MORE interested?

 

[BGMan]

No, don't act more interested. Just ask for the number, and set up a date. If you're waiting for her to suggest asking for her number, she may get turned off by your passivity.

BGMan

 

[8ball]

I think that NOT calling when they abruptly volunteer their number ( w/ out asking ) is turning them off.

I'm gonna try calling them THAT DAY.

 

[OddTech]

Hmm, it's hard to say. How often is this? So far, the least flaky girls I have met are over the internet.

Perhaps the reason is that given the HUGE amount of emails/solicitations the girls get every day, some guy happened to whip them off their feet. It's not your fault. You're a DJ, don't let the flakiness get to you. I think you should give them another chance or see if they counter-offer. Peace.

 

[icehot]

here's my theory:

the ratio of guys to girls on internet dating is probably 10:1
So if the woman is interested enough to give you her number, you gotta call her right away (within 24 hours). Be C&F and get her relaxed ASAP. This way, she knows you're laid back and not some serial killer.

If you don't call within 24 hours, you can bet that some other DJ has already beat you to it. So the chick bails on you to go out with him.

With Internet dating, the "wait 5 days to call" rule can't apply.

-iceH

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by 8ball
I think that NOT calling when they abruptly volunteer their number ( w/ out asking ) is turning them off.

I'm gonna try calling them THAT DAY.

I think that's a good idea. These girls don't really know you so waiting a few days to call won't really work. It gives them too much time to hesitate and then they chicken out. If you try and organise a date ASAP and within, say ONE day of making the call you might find you get the date. Don't worry about looking desperate yet, just give her a chance to get to know you better first.

Santos

 

[MisterAl]

A couple ideas from someone who does a lot of Internet dating:

The advice from others is right about not waiting five days to call an Internet girl. Seriously, two days tops for Internet in my experience. Maybe three if you want to wait for a Sunday or Monday. I think because at that point you're just a photo and a few sentences. And you can get lost in the flurry of messages they get online.

Also, don't wait until they hint at a date. It's your job to ask first. They're getting bored waiting for you. Internet girls are generally looking to get asked out within a couple emails.

First email: Hi Betsy, you sound great. I'm tall with blue eyes <whatever>. Tell me about <something in her profile>.

Second or third email: We should talk sometime. I can call you or you can reach me at 555-5878.

75% of the time she'll come back right away with her digits. Call within two days, set a weeknight date, and definitely keep the call under 15 minutes just like you're doing. I've wiped out so many times forgetting that rule.

Get used to the flakers. I get a high response rate, but also a _high_ flake-out rate from the ones that do respond. I just got flaked again this weekend by an Internet girl. Don't get discouraged, play the numbers.

Also, why is it that you are trying to get hold of her on the day of the date? The date should be set up days in advance, and you should be either meeting where you said you would be or picking her up at the agreed time. I don't bother calling at all unless I might be late because of traffic or something.

On the other hand, lately I have been having much more success with singles events like speed-dating. If you have events in your area, try them. Quantity is lower, but quality is so much higher. I have two speed-dating girls right now, and they beat anything I've ever scrounged off the web.

 

[dionysius_d]

mister al and icehot are exactly right..

how do i know?? cause i get lost in the collection of pics and emails thrown at me too!! haha

there's only 2 reasons

1) they forgot who you were and made new plans..

2) they piked out at the last minute cause hey "i don't even know this guy from a bar of soap".

remember you are male, they are female and have to be more careful.. u know how many wacko's are online.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by dionysius_d
mister al and icehot are exactly right..

how do i know?? cause i get lost in the collection of pics and emails thrown at me too!! haha

there's only 2 reasons

1) they forgot who you were and made new plans..

2) they piked out at the last minute cause hey "i don't even know this guy from a bar of soap".

remember you are male, they are female and have to be more careful.. u know how many wacko's are online.

Here is something to consider too, women involved in Internet dating are practically being hunted. They are bombarded with emails from AFCs and DJs, but how can they tell which is which? Also understand, there is a myriad of Internet dating horror stories out there and barely a handful of success stories. This is what they have to contend with.

Now they may have interest in you and initially want to meet you for a date. However, they talk to their c0ck-blocking girlfriends that tell them tons of made up excuses why they shouldn't go out on the date. Who should they believe, a girlfriend who is just looking out for their best interest or some guy out of a hundred she met on the net who probably just wants a piece of @ss???

Now don't get me wrong, I think that Internet dating is one of the best things ever created, but there's a trick to not being stood up. The trick is to NOT go on a date (per se). The term date brings up a level of complexity which make women wary.

Consider these things that constitutes a standard date; it's at night, she's alone, she's someplace that she's never been before, she's with someone she doesn't know, what if there isn't any chemistry, what if he wants to kiss her or even more???? I'm telling you guys, unless she believes you are the man of her dreams, she is going to be second guessing a lot what may or may not happen.

So I say, keep it simple. Do something that is completely harmless. A meeting for just coffee works wonders. Set it up for only an hour and let her know that is all the time you can offer her. Ask HER if she has a special place she gets her JAVA (if it's a good date, she'll think of you whenever she picks up her cappuccino before work ). The advantages of keeping it simple outweighs everything else. Just think about it....