Women don't try to test men

[Captain]

Testing. A lot of men say that women "test" them, for congruence, or to see their reaction to see if they're actually an AFC under their suave exterior.

Women don't actually know they're testing men. They aren't doing it on purpose. They aren't even doing is subconsciously. What they're doing is completely natural, they aren't actually testing at all. It's just a natural reaction to your actions. Let me explain.

If you're at a party, and you're having a great chat with a bunch of women, but you're ignoring the HB, she'll start trying to get your attention. She may do something crazy to get your attention. Right about now, some people would say that she is testing you to see if she can get your attention. No, she's being ignored, so she wants attention. It's just how women work.

If you give her too much attention, she'll start to get bored. Again, you didn't "fail the test", you just gave her too much attention. She wasn't testing you, either consciously or subconsciously, she was just reacting to your behaviour.

You don't need fancy tricks and techniques to "pass a sh!t test", you just need to keep your behaviour congruent, and keep doing what you're doing.

If your girlfriend mentions her ex in an argument, she isn't testing you. She might be trying to make your jealous, yes, and your reaction will either generate attraction for you or kill some of it.

Solution to all these problems: Don't react. Always keep your actions congruent. Don't let the outside world affect how you act. You want to be the person that others are reacting to, not the other way around.

Women aren't actually trying to test men, they're just reacting to your actions.

I'm probably arguing semantics a bit here, but I thought I'd post this in case it helps out a few people.

 

[Cassanova_Child]

Actually thinking about this, I agree a lot.

Come on guys, do you really think that after each of your actions, the girl you're talking to thinks: "Ok, he did _________, no I MUST do ______, in order to see how he reacts?"

I personally don't see it. We all know women to be emotional creatures (at least a lot more so than men). I'm fairly certain its an action-reaction sort of thing, where they respond immediately.

 

[SickAgain]

I'm sorry but women do test men. The number one thing they will test you on is how desperate you are. They will do this by not returning calls or texts just to see if you lose your cool. Ever heard of playing hard to get?? It's household common knowledge. Another test they pull is to see how much a guy likes them by deliberately pissing them off by saying something along the lines of"hey i'm going out with my girlfriends and i might not come home tonight."

 

[Captain]

If they do test you, it doesn't really matter. Take it at face value and keep acting exactly like you have been.

If you don't ever let their behaviour affect you, you'll pass any "tests" they throw at you.

My post was more to make people see that it doesn't matter if she's testing you or not, so long as you don't be affected by her behaviour. That way, guys aren't worrying "oh, so is she testing me now? What should I do?"

Worrying about her motives is over-analysing the situation. It's letting her behaviour affect you, which isn't what you want.

 

[sharkbeat]

They do sometimes when they want to know what your life is like by asking indirect questions. Girls magazines are full of that stuff.

For example, I went to a club with this girl I know. Let's call her girl A. We are not that close. It was getting late, and I was having a heavy kino with some other chick. I didn't escalate beyond that because I had a gf, but I did number close her that night. I was going home, so I texted girl A, who probably had gone home already, "I am going home, see ya".

When I got home, I found out she'd been texting me the whole time while I was driving home along the lines of "are you ok?", "don't drink and drive". So I texted her back "yeah of course" and had some late night convo with her. After that I realized...wait a minute..she was texting me to know if I f-close that chick. Since I answered, she knew I didn't. What a cunning *****.

 

[Phenomenal One]

it seems weird to me to know that a DJ is supposed to consider himself the prize and still try and pass sh!t test.

if you're the prize, why do you need to pass any test ?

i don't care about test, sh!t test or any kind of test.
i think tryin to pass a test or acknowledging it is not something any guy should do.

 

[Furyguy]

Don't let the outside world affect how you act. You want to be the person that others are reacting to, not the other way around.

This is perfect. Great concept. Really emphasizes frame control, I like it.

 

[Ambition Now]

I have some doubts on whats the best way to react, I know the best way is to dont react at all and keep my cool... but, when doing this, am I not giving the b*tch a green light to her sh*t behaviour?

For example, when I am not affected when a girl tries to make me jealous, it shows a lot of confidence, but she can aslo interpret it as she can flirt with anybody she wants to (wich she can, but not if i am dating her...).

 

[Duffdog]

When I got home, I found out she'd been texting me the whole time while I was driving home along the lines of "are you ok?", "don't drink and drive". So I texted her back "yeah of course" and had some late night convo with her. After that I realized...wait a minute..she was texting me to know if I f-close that chick. Since I answered, she knew I didn't. What a cunning *****.

Yes, you are absolutely right. She was trying to see if you were one of those guys who gets to fvck girls he meets on the first night. Hot girls test guys ALL the time...all the time. Even when you think they aren't, they are. As a photographer, you get to see these things. Unfortunately, the average to below average girls aren't even noticing what is going on, nor are they allowed to participate. It is strictly a game for the absolute hottest chics. It makes sense that this testing is limited, obviously, since the hottest girls only want the top 1% of guys and the rest of the males are just obstacles in their way. So, the best way to get rid of all the obstacles is to create little hoops that the guys must jump through...if you respond like the average guy, then you are average and are written off as unsuitable.

If you are seasoned to recognize this type of thing, you would have done what the guy she wants would do: Have the girl you just picked up from the club answer the phone while you are in the car home when the other girl calls you. Then, you would have got to fvck both the girls.