"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Women don't know what they want: the handsome man

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,623
Reaction score
552
Location
Italy
So you may have experience with women discussing other "handsome" men. What the SMV theory says is true, and you can find that sometimes, these "handsome" men usually share the same characteristics.

However, when women say, "he is a handsome man, fit, muscular, tall, with tattoos everywhere," and then the same women are married to a completely different man and have children with him, what does this mean?

@AmsterdamAssassin will likely come here and say, "Women don't know what they want!" This statement holds truth.

Howhever let's, delve deeper into this.
Is it because a given woman fantasizes about these "handsome men" but:

- She feels she is not attractive enough to match?
- She believes she is not good enough to keep him?
- She would only consider him for a one-night stand or friends with benefits because the appearance of this "handsome" man does not indicate he would be a good provider or father for her and her children?
- Any other reason?

Those women fantasize so much and you can see em getting wet when in presence of those kind of men, but after all, those women are not pursuing those men at all?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
16,979
Reaction score
19,308
This is irrelevant.

All you need to know that while they may not know what they want they DEFINITELY know what they DON'T want.

These include:

-weak men
-needy men
-depserate men
-boring men
-unconfident men
-unsexual men
-scared men(to make a move)
-indecisive men


Probably some others to listen but those are off the top of my head.
 
Last edited:

Velasco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
1,381
Reaction score
1,579
Age
32
They want the handsome guy for fun, short term pleasure
The man they marry is for practical stability purposes to build a future with.

Sometimes they end up marrying the first guy, but then regret it. because his same traits that make him a fun guy, make him a bad long term partner (liar, cheater, not as money motivated as the other guy)
 

oOh Nasty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2002
Messages
1,126
Reaction score
353
Age
40
Because the man she wants pumps and dumps her.
 

holidayad_

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2022
Messages
263
Reaction score
218
Age
27
That's a good question.

Some women have told me they didn't approach me because they felt intimidated.

And I think it might happen to other fellas as well.

What I've seen some women do is create certain situations so that I initiate the contact or they do it themselves.

In LTR, they probably don't choose attractive guys because they might feel more insecure.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
4,124
Reaction score
3,628
Location
California
So you may have experience with women discussing other "handsome" men. What the SMV theory says is true, and you can find that sometimes, these "handsome" men usually share the same characteristics.

However, when women say, "he is a handsome man, fit, muscular, tall, with tattoos everywhere," and then the same women are married to a completely different man and have children with him, what does this mean?

@AmsterdamAssassin will likely come here and say, "Women don't know what they want!" This statement holds truth.

Howhever let's, delve deeper into this.
Is it because a given woman fantasizes about these "handsome men" but:

- She feels she is not attractive enough to match?
- She believes she is not good enough to keep him?
- She would only consider him for a one-night stand or friends with benefits because the appearance of this "handsome" man does not indicate he would be a good provider or father for her and her children?
- Any other reason?

Those women fantasize so much and you can see em getting wet when in presence of those kind of men, but after all, those women are not pursuing those men at all?
Isn’t this just the well known Alpha Fvcks, Beta Bucks?
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
6,555
Reaction score
4,116
Location
Inside her mind
They want the handsome guy for fun, short term pleasure
The man they marry is for practical stability purposes to build a future with.

Sometimes they end up marrying the first guy, but then regret it. because his same traits that make him a fun guy, make him a bad long term partner (liar, cheater, not as money motivated as the other guy)
Yup this a huge one, a big thing too that happens is they may end up having the handsome man's kids and their SMV takes a hit in the dating market. Handsome men with options aren't going to take a single mother as seriously as a childless mother and heck some Top Tier guys (and even regular guys) won't even date (or smash) a single mother.

I know a chick who in her prime in her 20s was easily a 8-9 depending on whom you ask and was dating body builders, she now is lucky to get a dude with a dad bod or who is slim
 

Hamurabimbi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
4,124
Reaction score
3,628
Location
California
My father once said, "You cannot own something beautiful without attracting unwanted attention."

If you have ever dated an objectively gorgeous woman, you will know all about unwanted attention. You will have to stay calm even when some smirking buttwipe is putting the move on your girlfriend, because losing your cool will show that you're possessive and jealous. Walking that tightrope can be taxing unless you don't care about losing her. After all, if she would be impressed by the smirking buttwipe, is she worth your attention?
But this does not just happen to women. If you're an attractive man, you will have women flirting with you, and not all women can handle that unwanted attention. And it becomes an effort for the woman to keep her cool and not scratch out the eyes of the smirking witch trying to slip her boyfriend a note or business card.

When you have the self esteem to stop caring about losing those people unworthy of your attention, people start giving you attention to show that they can be worthy of your attention. They stop disqualifying you and start qualifying themselves. They will perceive you to be of higher status, even when you're clearly not. Why? Because they don't get your attention and validation for free. They have to earn your attention. And something you earned is always more valuable than something given.
So you may have experience with women discussing other "handsome" men. What the SMV theory says is true, and you can find that sometimes, these "handsome" men usually share the same characteristics.

However, when women say, "he is a handsome man, fit, muscular, tall, with tattoos everywhere," and then the same women are married to a completely different man and have children with him, what does this mean?

@AmsterdamAssassin will likely come here and say, "Women don't know what they want!" This statement holds truth.

Howhever let's, delve deeper into this.
Is it because a given woman fantasizes about these "handsome men" but:

- She feels she is not attractive enough to match?
- She believes she is not good enough to keep him?
- She would only consider him for a one-night stand or friends with benefits because the appearance of this "handsome" man does not indicate he would be a good provider or father for her and her children?
- Any other reason?

Those women fantasize so much and you can see em getting wet when in presence of those kind of men, but after all, those women are not pursuing those men at all?
One of my Ex-s is now with a guy who is a good LTR catch. But is a Billy Beta. She told me he doesn’t give her orgasms.
I know the guy. He’s a really good guy and is devoted to her. He’d be a better husband and father than I.
 
Joined
Sep 24, 2024
Messages
41
Reaction score
24
Age
49
Yup this a huge one, a big thing too that happens is they may end up having the handsome man's kids and their SMV takes a hit in the dating market. Handsome men with options aren't going to take a single mother as seriously as a childless mother and heck some Top Tier guys (and even regular guys) won't even date (or smash) a single mother.

I know a chick who in her prime in her 20s was easily a 8-9 depending on whom you ask and was dating body builders, she now is lucky to get a dude with a dad bod or who is slim
This is pretty accurate.
 

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2024
Messages
2,623
Reaction score
552
Location
Italy
If you're an attractive man, you will have women flirting with you, and not all women can handle that unwanted attention
So this is why, in LTR, if a man has female friends or colleagues, and he spends time with them without his wife, she may start to value him more. This is because she feels the need to do something to keep him interested in her. Conversely, if she thinks he has other women in his life, she might consider him to be of low value. There are also different points of view to consider in this situation:

1. Working LTR
In this scenario, I can see how having female friends can be positive and enjoyable.

2. Non-working LTR (The couple may be in trouble or she could have lost interest.)
In this case, if there are issues such as her losing interest, she might use his interactions with other women as a reason to justify leaving him.

Yup this a huge one, a big thing too that happens is they may end up having the handsome man's kids and their SMV takes a hit in the dating market. Handsome men with options aren't going to take a single mother as seriously as a childless mother and heck some Top Tier guys (and even regular guys) won't even date (or smash) a single mother.

I know a chick who in her prime in her 20s was easily a 8-9 depending on whom you ask and was dating body builders, she now is lucky to get a dude with a dad bod or who is slim
It depends on the woman, but there are many plot twists here: she could have child and marriage with a "provider" while having a mask for all of his social circle, and then, have a secret handsome guy which **** her on the side. Reconnecting to the point "You cannot own something beautiful without attracting unwanted attention." I can see LTR's where wife are beautiful than the man: the man get nervous and insecure when in presence of other men.
You can be the most confident guy, but if she is prone to collect attention from other men, she may slip, and that It's a clear sign your SMV has lower value than her
If you really want to confuse a woman, you should give her what she really wants.

Chocolate shoes.
Explain this to noobs here
 
Last edited:

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,507
Reaction score
2,709
They want the handsome guy for fun, short term pleasure
The man they marry is for practical stability purposes to build a future with.

Sometimes they end up marrying the first guy, but then regret it. because his same traits that make him a fun guy, make him a bad long term partner (liar, cheater, not as money motivated as the other guy)
Very well put
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
5,520
Reaction score
5,698
Howhever let's, delve deeper into this.
Is it because a given woman fantasizes about these "handsome men" but:

- She feels she is not attractive enough to match?
- She believes she is not good enough to keep him?
- She would only consider him for a one-night stand or friends with benefits because the appearance of this "handsome" man does not indicate he would be a good provider or father for her and her children?
- Any other reason?
He won't give her the time of day.

Why would a guy who is the stuff of female fantasies be interested in an average chick? Am I missing something?
 
Top