"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Women don't care for your emotions

Metaphysical

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Sometimes I stumble across this forum out of boredom in the winter months and I regret ever coming back.

Having read half a dozen posts in 5 minutes with the same re-curring theme, let me offer you some advice.

WOMEN DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET EMOTIONAL/ATTACHED TO THEM.

Definately not for the first few months while you are dating them.

Sending her flowers when you haven't even slept with her or being excessively nice is repulsive to them. It makes them think you are a leech that just won't let go.

Creepy, needy, attached. Those words give them shivers in their body and make them want to throw up.

Making her the "source" of your happiness or "meaning of your life" is borderline psychotic and induces fear in women. So give that stupidity up.

If you are dating a woman for a long time (1yr+ or whatever) it is okay to express yourself emotionally but while just getting to know each other, keep your sentiments to your own damn self.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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YT827

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I found this out the hard way.

What you're saying is a man should be chill until she gets emotionally attached?

I always had a hard time figuring out how to pursue a girl without making it seem like I really want her.
 

Jhcl4000

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YT827 said:
I found this out the hard way.
I think we all have at some point.

I'm tempted to say it's better to actually be MEAN than to be AFC in todays world.
 

Metaphysical

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Jhcl4000 said:
I'm tempted to say it's better to actually be MEAN than to be AFC in todays world.
It's better to forget about both those terms and be a normal human f**kin being.
 
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I only half agree with your thread.

There are alot of younger chicks that these young don juans mack on (like 15 - 20 years old), and these chicks sometimes get clingy and attached on their own fairly quick......maybe within a date or 2. Of course, that is because you have given them a fvcking on that 1st or 2nd "date" that they just can't get out of their head.

But my point is, if these young clingy chicks decide to try to suck you into a relationship, a true don juan will just lie and tell them what they want to hear to keep getting access to their pvssies - otherwise, these clingy hotties WILL leave you and brush you off as "just another player".

Experience speaks.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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bukowski_merit

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Metaphysical said:
WOMEN DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET EMOTIONAL/ATTACHED TO THEM.
I would change that to "Women do not want you to get MORE emotional/attached to them than they are to you"

In my experience - it's fine to show some emotional connection or attachment once they have shown you a good bit of it...
 

Serg897

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The main point of this post is true. I've learned this the hard way, multiple times. It sucks.
 

starplayer

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Definitely found this one out the hard way.

I think it's instinctual to them that a guy who gets attached too easily must be desperate, whereas a guy who doesn't must have a lot of other girls that want him.

I never start getting mushy and emotional around girls but I recently realized you can't show ANY emotional attachment at all in the early stages. Even if she says she wants you to, you must resist. It's really like walking a tightrope with women these days.

Hot women have guys falling for them all the time. That's why they love jerks and bay boys so much, because she can just be herself around them. They're a breath of fresh air from all the other needy guys.
 

nismo-4

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bukowski_merit said:
I would change that to "Women do not want you to get MORE emotional/attached to them than they are to you"

In my experience - it's fine to show some emotional connection or attachment once they have shown you a good bit of it...
Bukowski's right, OP.

You should have written it like this, but this is great advice, and it should be in the tips section as a refresher.

I found out the hard way. If you have feelings, you got a lot to lose. If you don't have feelings, you got nothing to lose.

You two guys get equipped with +1 rep!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Blue Phoenix

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Men Have Emotions, But Women Don’t Listen

They want us to be the rock so they can feel protected since they are very emotional. Let me tell you, IT`S NOT EASY. We suffer too, we have feelings, we fall in love, we cry, but in the end we must be strong.

Men Have Emotions, But Women Don’t Listen

Thirty years ago, Psychology became “feminized.” Now, women greatly outnumber male mental health professionals, and let’s face it, the men who enter the field may as well have a uterus, that’s how estrogen-ized the field has become. Thus began the “men need to be more sensitive and get in touch with their feelings” re-education movement. Female mental health “experts” surfaced in the proliferation of daytime talk shows and male characters cried openly on television shows like 30something to get in touch with their “sensitive side.”

The truth >>Women don’t want men to be unfeeling robots, but want them to be men–strong and reliable, yet capable of tenderness.
Great article written BY A WOMAN!!
http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/14/men-have-emotions-women-dont-listen/
 
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