"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Women didn't want a relatonship with me- can I date her friend?

The Grue

Don Juan
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Hello!

I am not by any stretch a Don Juan, but I hope to improve... Here is my problem

I dated a lady, Madelyn(33) about 5-6 times last June.
Things didn't work out between us; she said she was not in the right "phase" for a relationship. I took this as meaning she was not into me and stopped seeing each other.
There was no sex, we hadn't even kissed. I had tried to press the matter, but she was adamant.
Madelyn was damaged goods. I found out she has caught her hubby with her maid of honor doing it on her wedding day(incredible story but true!).
Anyway, we kept in touch, but I dated other women and I assume Madelyn did the same.

She calls on New Year's to say hello then invites me to Sunday brunch at her place. I didn't understand why, but it seems she wanted us to be "friends" at lest. No problem.

While there, I meet her best friend, Sue(30), who is very attractive. We had been looking at each other intently before I introduced myself(Madelyn didn't actually introduce me...)

Sue says she knows all about me, and I invite her, Madelyn and few of Madelyn's friends to a party I was throwing on January 31st.

Next few days, I call Sue for Madelyn's number. No problem there either.

I call up Madelyn and she seems glad to hear me, demure even.
She says she will come.

On the day of the party, Madelyn cancels at the last minute(with a text message - says she is ill) and Sue never shows up(no text message - nothing).
I believe Sue was planning on coming with Madelyn and the cancellation on Madelyn's part ruined things.

Problem is I like Sue and I am not sure how to proceed.

I THINK

1.Sue may just not be interested in me.
or
2.Sue may be interested but is contemplating her friendship with Madelyn.
3.Madelyn may have told Sue something derogatory about me. I was a gentleman though!

My view is that Madelyn should be fine with me dating her friend Sue.
After all, she didn't want to pursue a relationship with me but maybe her friend does?
What's the problem in that?
But maybe I am not thinking like a woman...

I am considering calling Sue up, and just meeting up for coffee this week.

The way I see it, if she accepts, she is open and I can proceed.

Or should I just forget her and move on....

I would appreciate yours thoughts,

Thanks,
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Kal0051

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2009
Messages
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Yeah, give her a call. If she doesn't agree to meet up or flakes then take that as she's not interested (it doesn't matter why she's not interested).
 

ZenGodMod

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Messages
297
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What made you think its not okay to date a friend of a women which didn't work out?

Only thing I wondering is what does Sue know about you from her friend. Better make it clear to Sue.
 

iambrian81

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2009
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Madelyn have zero interest in you so the only problem right now is wether sue is interested. Go for it...it either work or it doesnt.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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