Women are so infuriating (not taking responsibility)!

[happyguy]

So I know this is another basic question, but here is the situation. Why do women not take responsibility to start a relationship? I have this simmering tension going on with this girl for two months now (she is my roommate), I make the moves everytime, and if she feels like it, she will respond positivly (making out, oral etc), but every so often she is like 'what are we doing?' and pushes me away and makes me look like a pervert. I know she likes me, if I try to make a move towards us being a couple (which is to attempt make out sessions more regularly), she rudely pushes me away... only to give signls to approach again. She will not admit to wanting more!!! She is giving me nothing to work with.

I have had this problem with women before. They absolutely will play dead fish when they are too ***** to step up and take some responsibility for starting something. It puts the spotlight squarely on me, and I usually choose to walk away.

What is the trick here? Do I barge ahead and impose my will? (I have tried it unsuccessfully a couple of times before. It has been the quickest way I've gotten dumped). Do I 'talk' ? I will admit, I have never talked the relationship talk in my life. I will go along as long as things are going smoothly and bail when things get choppy (usually when she goes quiet after fooling around for a few weeks. She is obviously expecting me to make some move, what kind of move, I haven't figured out).

Am I supposed to be talking this through? I am sort of interested in a (m)ltr these days, and my track record after 'sex' close is abyssmal. I want to keep the relationship going and not fizzle out due to awkwardness.

Any help will be terribly appreciated!

 

[mrRuckus]

So I know this is another basic question, but here is the situation. Why do women not take responsibility to start a relationship?

Where have you been your whole life?

That's all women do. They attempt to obtain relationships.

You just show up, be awesome, and sooner or later the girl is going to try tie your ass down. If she's not saying anything she's either holding back on it on purpose for some power play attempt or she's 'scared' or she thinks you have nothing else going on so why lock herself down when she already has you anyway?

Just have an air of unobtainability and she will try to make you commit to only her.

Stop being a woman. It's her job to worry about this stuff.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... I will admit, I have never talked the relationship talk in my life. I will go along as long as things are going smoothly and bail when things get choppy (usually when she goes quiet after fooling around for a few weeks. She is obviously expecting me to make some move, what kind of move, I haven't figured out). ..

So is this why you are looking for the woman to make the move?

 

[happyguy]

Yes, Mr. Anconia. I am prepared to run with it as long as I am allowed some foothold into the situation. I haven't figured how I would create one for myself... It is basically old relationship scars. I have gotten burned really badly articulating my feelings. Now I can't seem to even go there. I end up waiting for the woman to initiate the relationship talk. Me, I just wait, and if she is not forthcoming, I walk. It is messed up. I guess I am looking for methods that will overwhelm this barrier...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Ahhhh, thought so. Your best bet is to learn how to trust again. However, trust should be looked upon differently, especially in your case.

Instead of looking at trust as a way to feel about another person, consider changing it to how you feel about yourself. How about getting to a point that you trust yourself to be able to deal with any type of interaction and it's outcome you may have with a woman be it good or bad?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

It all comes down to interest level. Believe me, when they are interested enough, they will do whatever to get you into the, errrr, (cough, cough) rrrrRRRRR-ee-(cough, cough)-lay-tions-ship.

Have you had sex with her yet?

You are probably coming accross as too needy and desperate. There is one common denominator here. You.

 

[happyguy]

No no, I don't come off needy... more like I walk away too soon. I don't give relationships a chance. I keep meeting a lot of women, my problem is actually converting my makeout sessions and rolling around in the bed to sexual relationships of any length. I think it might be the trust thing... I just do all the DJ things, never talk about them. Most of my game is the strong, silent variety (lots of kino and mystery/intrigue). When I have to 'talk' about relationships, my bad AFC scars flare up and I lose my frame.

I can see what you are saying about trusting to roll with outcome... It feels awkward to me right now, but I feel that is a barrier I need to cross to fix a bunch of other problems. I will think about it and take some action in my current situation soon.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I can see what you are saying about trusting to roll with outcome... It feels awkward to me right now, but I feel that is a barrier I need to cross to fix a bunch of other problems. I will think about it and take some action in my current situation soon.

It may seem difficult but once you begin to trust yourself, you will probably find the number of self imposed limitations will have decreased.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Have You Had Sex With Her?

 

[Tazman]

She is giving me nothing to work with.

Because she doesn't want it to happen. Women push for relationships with guys they WANT to have relationships with, it really is that simple. If she's pushing you away you need to stop pursuing it, immediately.

Just the other day a friend of mine showed me an email from this chick he hooked up with. She was trying to make things exclusive with him by giving him great sex, cooking, giving compliments, etc, and simply "asking" him. That's what they do when they don't want to let you go. A chick pulling away from you or turning hot/cold constantly isn't that interested in you. This is given that she doesn't have some mental issues, which would make all bets off anyway.