Women are last on my list, which is good, but unfortunately leads to less opportunity

[teddy]

My career and career goals take up the vast majority of my time. Other than work hours, which are heavy, I have to do extra stuff outside of that in order to further my goals.

The rest of my time is taken up by family, hobbies, and working out.

This leaves very little time for women. While this is good because I've learned how to rely on myself and develop myself, it also means less opportunities to practice my skills. As a result, mistakes are magnified and I'm more prone to oneitis, especially since working on my career/personal goals is a solitary process for the most part. I only started coming out of my shell after I graduated college, which is to say the last few years. The good part of this is that I put in work in myself for a long time; the downside is that, dating-wise, I'm way behind my peers.

I haven't had a real girlfriend and I'm 25. At the same time, I'm in a very good place personally and set up very well for the future.

How do I balance this? It's easy to tell myself I'm awesome and a catch and believe it, and keep working on my DJ skills to give me an edge, but then you see some of these bums haul ass and I'm like **** this ****.

 

[devilkingx2]

if you don't have any free time you can't get any women(not that you'd want any, what could/would you possibly do with women if you have no time for them?)

don't worry about girls until your schedule frees up

 

[_sideways_]

They are last on my list which leads me to more opportunity because I push the **** right away...no games, no ifs ands or buts.....the sucky part is breaking their hearts and the dry spells

 

[Starfvcks 64]

There are guys in your position who say "i'm too busy" as an EXCUSE for not getting/having girls, and there are guys in your position who truly are just too busy.

The difference is the first group of guys don't try. They walk to the edge, give up, turn back and say, "well, whatever. I'd be too busy anyway."
You should be talking to girls and flirting as often as you can, even if it can't or doesn't lead to anything.

You aren't too busy to have relationships. You can make it work if you try.
I think working a lot can be an actually be an ADVANTAGE, because it pretty much forces you to keep distance (which is a very good thing). I can't think of the right word, but basically it sets up a good "dynamic" where you have your life and she has hers. She is in the background, as she should be.

It's worth having at least one plate you can meet up with once a week or a few times a month just to get out and experience "that" part of the world. You don't need to spend a lot of time on her but it's definitely something fun to have in the background.

Pursue sex, don't purse a relationship.
A relationship is something that should GROW over time.
If she complains you don't spend enough time with her, despite knowing how often you work, she isn't worth having a relationship with anyway.

Even when I've been unemployed (a sad amount of time) I've lied and told girls "i've been working a lot."
It sounds a hell of a lot better than "i've been posting on 4chan" "i've been selling adderall to college girls" "i've been {insert something suspicious}" and it's an overall convenient excuse.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

They always argue and say that a real man should put women as secondary but what feels like a catch-22 is when you are not getting laid, basically you have to pursue but without trying too hard

 

[teddy]

There are guys in your position who say "i'm too busy" as an EXCUSE for not getting/having girls, and there are guys in your position who truly are just too busy.

The difference is the first group of guys don't try. They walk to the edge, give up, turn back and say, "well, whatever. I'd be too busy anyway."
You should be talking to girls and flirting as often as you can, even if it can't or doesn't lead to anything.

You aren't too busy to have relationships. You can make it work if you try.
I think working a lot can be an actually be an ADVANTAGE, because it pretty much forces you to keep distance (which is a very good thing). I can't think of the right word, but basically it sets up a good "dynamic" where you have your life and she has hers. She is in the background, as she should be.

It's worth having at least one plate you can meet up with once a week or a few times a month just to get out and experience "that" part of the world. You don't need to spend a lot of time on her but it's definitely something fun to have in the background.

Pursue sex, don't purse a relationship.
A relationship is something that should GROW over time.
If she complains you don't spend enough time with her, despite knowing how often you work, she isn't worth having a relationship with anyway.

Even when I've been unemployed (a sad amount of time) I've lied and told girls "i've been working a lot."
It sounds a hell of a lot better than "i've been posting on 4chan" "i've been selling adderall to college girls" "i've been {insert something suspicious}" and it's an overall convenient excuse.

I've been trying to spin at least one plate, problem is (if you've read some of my other posts), I've been having bad luck lately in seeing girls with bfs. I'd rather practice on single women, at least that would help me sharpen my skills that need practice.

Unfortunately, that also means I've been having a hella long stretch of a dry spell right now.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

My career and career goals take up the vast majority of my time. Other than work hours, which are heavy, I have to do extra stuff outside of that in order to further my goals.

The rest of my time is taken up by family, hobbies, and working out.

This leaves very little time for women. While this is good because I've learned how to rely on myself and develop myself, it also means less opportunities to practice my skills. As a result, mistakes are magnified and I'm more prone to oneitis, especially since working on my career/personal goals is a solitary process for the most part. I only started coming out of my shell after I graduated college, which is to say the last few years. The good part of this is that I put in work in myself for a long time; the downside is that, dating-wise, I'm way behind my peers.

I haven't had a real girlfriend and I'm 25. At the same time, I'm in a very good place personally and set up very well for the future.

How do I balance this? It's easy to tell myself I'm awesome and a catch and believe it, and keep working on my DJ skills to give me an edge, but then you see some of these bums haul ass and I'm like **** this ****.

OP, when you say you haven't had a real girlfriend, what do you mean? you've only just had flings, casual sex?

 

[teddy]

OP, when you say you haven't had a real girlfriend, what do you mean? you've only just had flings, casual sex?

No, that I've never really had much in the way of women, period.

 

[Mr Wright]

No, that I've never really had much in the way of women, period.

Despite what other guys say, I say spend a year or so and go hard at getting better with women. You can pretend it doesnt bother you and concentrate on other areas or you can get it sorted within 12-18 months, you're on this site because you want to have regular pvssy in your life, as are most guys, so actually get it done. Who's not going to enjoy to be able to sleep with 10+ girls a year, it's just one less thing to worry about. The only thing that will hold you back are excuses.

Get all the info you need, internalise it as quickly as possible. Get in, get off, get out.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Despite what other guys say, I say spend a year or so and go hard at getting better with women. You can pretend it doesnt bother you and concentrate on other areas or you can get it sorted within 12-18 months, you're on this site because you want to have regular pvssy in your life, as are most guys, so actually get it done. Who's not going to enjoy to be able to sleep with 10+ girls a year, it's just one less thing to worry about. The only thing that will hold you back are excuses.

Get all the info you need, internalise it as quickly as possible. Get in, get off, get out.

yup exactly, Dan Bacon of the Modern Man sums it up perfectly all the way up to 1:15, and he explains perfectly as to why guys do not get laid:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qed9e9oy-w

 

[rushing dude 123]

I would say be calculated and ditch any time-wasters. It is perfectly easy to meet some good chicks when you are busy and have a life, there will be opportunities, when you go to the shop, social circles, customers at work etc... they are half the population the world they are unavoidable.

This just means you meet chicks in your zone and don't actively go out to meet them. It requires less effort and it is still an effective way to meet good quality women.

I am not going to lie though, your friends will meet more women than you because they are actively looking for it, but dosn't mean they will lead a better life than you. If I was in your position I would rather take my 2-3 decent chicks a month and have a life than hitting the clubs every night with my 10 pick & mix chicks a month and that is all I have to show for my life.

Well done on getting all your life sorted, work hard/play hard. Don't forget to have a bit of fun though dude that's a big part of life, but still have insight on the future and doing well for yourself.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

OP, I assume you will be 26 this year? well at least you are further ahead than me in terms of getting your life together

 

[teddy]

OP, I assume you will be 26 this year? well at least you are further ahead than me in terms of getting your life together

Well, I turned 25 at the end of 2013. So yeah....but at the end of 2014.

It's good I have my life together, but it was at the cost of being behind in this.

 

[skinnyguy]

You really think your life would be better if it had women?

Think again.

If you don't have much experience with women, you will find one who will take you to the cleaners. Guys who have trouble meeting women are the most vulnerable.

Consider yourself LUCKY to not have any negativity in your life.

Most women these days are uneducated attention wh0res and only go for douchebags. If you're not a bad boy with tattoos and muscles, you will get stepped on. It's not worth it bro.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Well, I turned 25 at the end of 2013. So yeah....but at the end of 2014.

It's good I have my life together, but it was at the cost of being behind in this.

I will be 26 next week unfortunately and still a long ways away from getting my life together, something I've been feeling regret about lately, although i do have a job and a car, i'm only making 13k a year, just a high school diploma

 

[JaegerPilot217]

My career and career goals take up the vast majority of my time. Other than work hours, which are heavy, I have to do extra stuff outside of that in order to further my goals.

The rest of my time is taken up by family, hobbies, and working out.

This leaves very little time for women. While this is good because I've learned how to rely on myself and develop myself, it also means less opportunities to practice my skills. As a result, mistakes are magnified and I'm more prone to oneitis, especially since working on my career/personal goals is a solitary process for the most part. I only started coming out of my shell after I graduated college, which is to say the last few years. The good part of this is that I put in work in myself for a long time; the downside is that, dating-wise, I'm way behind my peers.

I haven't had a real girlfriend and I'm 25. At the same time, I'm in a very good place personally and set up very well for the future.

How do I balance this? It's easy to tell myself I'm awesome and a catch and believe it, and keep working on my DJ skills to give me an edge, but then you see some of these bums haul ass and I'm like **** this ****.

also, you said some of these guys are bums, specifically how are they bums? well I doubt they literally are, but are these guys college-university educated? make over 25k a year? just wondering because i'm not college educated and make less than 25k a year

 

[teddy]

also, you said some of these guys are bums, specifically how are they bums? well I doubt they literally are, but are these guys college-university educated? make over 25k a year? just wondering because i'm not college educated and make less than 25k a year

By bum I didn't mean people with no education/not making that much money. I meant more like "chumps". People I know I have more game than and that I can offer more value.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

By bum I didn't mean people with no education/not making that much money. I meant more like "chumps". People I know I have more game than and that I can offer more value.

oh I see, so I guess most of these guys have college education?

 

[teddy]

oh I see, so I guess most of these guys have college education?

Yes, I'd say most of them do, but there are some guys who haven't gone to college, either.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Yes, I'd say most of them do, but there are some guys who haven't gone to college, either.

I'm almost 26 and I haven't had a girlfriend yet either but I have been on dates before, I believe I could have had one a long time ago if I wasn't so picky about looks, lowered my standards, etc., and I still live with my parents and working a minimum wage job, sometimes as of lately I feel I'm too old to be living like this and that I set myself back years with getting a girlfriend, I only have a high school diploma, have completed some community college coursework, I make like $12,000 to $13,000 a year but of course I do want to get a job that pays more money I just need to get more qualifications, trying to figure out how to make it happen