Women are BPD because they don't respect you

[dk1990S111]

My ex had more problems than anyone I know lol would never see a therapist because "there was nothing wrong with her". So ya, it's more likely they are undiagonsed than diagnosed.

I really don't care what the percentage is though, when you deal with one the numbers don't make a bit of difference.

 

[Peña]

If guys learning game attract BPDs, it's probably because of inexperience. They don't know what they're doing, they don't know how to screen, they don't know what a quality woman looks like, then they learn a little bit - just enough that they're dangerous, you might say. So they get out there and start laying some bait, and find some chick that bites, and they're all "hey, this stuff works", not realizing what kind of fish they have on their line.

A woman can't put on an act? No?

 

[BrainDamage92]

This isnt true. BPD is not about not answering phones or commanding respect. This is an individual ho is emotionally 5 years old, and will have the same emotional responces as one. Then she will rationalise those responses into whatever strange reality she lives in. Most women have some traits of this behaviour sometimes, but with BPDs its not managable.

In my case, prbably unwillingly, I was mostly traeating her like ****, ignoring her and all couse she was so goddamn clingy and not good at convos, but damn, this body, this face, there isnt a single male who wouldnt want her. Xept fot me and the people who know her lol.

Anyway, after a summer affair, which I decided to keep for the summer only, she kept calling FOR MONTHS, until I picked it up and invited her to live at my place.

A year later she had quit her job (I quit mine too), I was delving deeper into booze and drugs, I was cheating, I dont know about her, I never dig around phones and stuff,

around the same time her father, the failed protector and the only man she loves got released from jail, he was always a criminal, raised her like a princess to some point, then bam lost the dough, got beat up in front of his family, her mother left blah blah...

So of course she had the plan for us to go to her fav city to live there. I would do it perfectly, **** I got a condo there, but it was given for rent so I just needed some time, but she hurdeled the plan I had until it was set for failure.

So we went to her dream city, she got a slutty job at a classy restaurant, working late at night an all, started hanging with *****s, started clubbing and started looking around for a new fool I could sense this. So I packed my bags and left when she told me "Ill go on a vacation at a sea resort with my coworkers (my city is on the cost we were just there), will that be a problem for you?". "No, of course not." Then a week later I was on the morning train with my suitcase in my hand. The only rason I survived relatively OK was Im abit sociopathic and I had the luxury of distancing myself. Before her, I thought my heart is made out of stone, but she made it melt, so Im wiser now.

Her ex before me was in shambles in comparison.

I recently contacted her again (soon to be one year apart), so I joked about something and she was like "I dont like your tone". The same old song. She pretends to know grammar, puts commas and what not, while she doesnt know how much 7x6 is. Very bad education, yet would never admit it. Abit low on the intellect but would never admit it. I see her as a good poet or painter, but hey, her family werent there for her when they shouldve, so what does that have to do with me?

So I told her straight in the form of a list why exactly I left her. SHe couldnt disagree, she said: "I was looking for options, yes, because.... (reasons why its all my fault)". FFS at least say you fell in love with another, looking for options, yes very nice...

Shes the kinda girl who never says "I love you" just like that, because she cant feel love, its always "I know you love me" like she told me that time I wanted to kick her out but was too weak, God I was weak, but she is so beautiful and brainwashes so nicely. And she controls with her vagina during sex, she knew if she refuses even once I would break it off Im not that dumb, but many times I felt like she doesnt feel like it while were doing it. I hated this ****, God I hated it so much, she controlled with her satisfaction so subtly, while she didnt do anything special for my satisfaction mostly. ANytime I fvucked her like I dont love her she was K, 8\10 times I tried to make love to her some strange physical pain came up. **** I worked so hard in bed and was good. She can have sex, but make love? Never. In fact the best sex was when we were both under the influence.

She would do stuff like giving me a cold shoulder when I want to hug her, then 2 mins later she be all over me after the mood is killed. GOD I HATED IT but never talked about it, I knew its pointless.


Also in the last chat she called something like a pumpkin, sugar or whatever. See this is one of the things I loved about her - she never used these names, nor sweettalked alot, very rarely,

then I realised she saw this is how I am, this is how I operate, and mimiced it for me to like her. This on top of so many other things that were just an act - I really dont know who this girl is, much like a little child, she is a sponge, and changes according to the people shes hanging out with.

I mean youre supposed to know this person, then she calls you "sugar" out of the blue like that when you would bet your ass she wouldnt use these names.

So much was wrong, but responsibility is mine, its like, when the snake bites you, is the snake at fault, or are you? The weight of this responsibility I still feel, so Ive learnt my lessons.

But saying stuff like all women are BPD couse you are meek is irresponsible.

Its more like, only dudes who dont know much about male-female dynamics get trapped in the BPD loop. But its not that a normal girl turned into a disordered individual just couse her BF is a chump.

Lets mention the manneurisms - the self mutilation - always squeezing on invisible blisters on her face, until the skin gets infected. She did it on me too ffs. SHe got waaaaaay too scared if you snap your fingers near her. When there was nothing to excite her sences, she would scratch herself slowly, as if it would cause and itch, not remove it. And the 2 tatoos. And this childish behaviour you cant exactly pinpoint.

No, if you saw the pity and sympathy in her family's eyes when Ive met up with them, you would think different. Its something the people closest to her know about, but they are very few, and if you get involved with her seriously, you become one of them.

TLDR: BPD is not a myth.

 

[skinnyguy]

When it comes to guys who have multiple BPD girlfriends, it's the man who is the problem, not necessarily the woman.

If you tolerate any of that shyt you need to look in the mirror and figure out what's wrong with you.

The more the girls get away with it, the more BPD they become. It's a manipulation tactic, pure and simple.

 

[Poon King]

This is actually a very good point. My BPD ex (or whatever you want to call her) held down a job and even commented on a colleague of hers who lost his temper saying one should always be professional and maintain their composure at the workplace. This coming from a woman who was verbally abusive and would throw a major hissy fit if I ever dared to call her out on one of her many, many lies. This goes to prove that they can control themselves in an environment if it suits them.

Yep.

They know desperate chumps will tolerate their crap just to have someone to f*ck regularly. And so.. they act like c*nts because they know the man won't do sh!t about it since he has no better options.

Women don't respect men who can't replace them. Again: Women don't respect men who can't replace them. Plain and simple. Which is why I always preach anti-monogamy and not letting women "own" you in a relationship... making "rules" and other nonsense.

If you're afraid to tell a woman to shut the f*ck up.. then you're a co-dependent beta b!tch. Which is why you get the BPD treatment. You can't get BPD treatment when you WALK AWAY and f*ck someone else. Women are bored these days because men are so soft and sweet like cotton candy. Most on this site can't even take my harsh words. Shows how soft, fussy and effeminate today's men are. Talking to most men today is like talking to a woman. While its masculine to be kind its not masculine to be "nice". Men think "nice" will get them laid and "keep" a girl. Not really.

Want to end BPD women? Stop treating women like gold. Should be obvious, yet.........................:trouble:

 

[dasein]

If HighSpeed's (OP) original numbers are right (they aren't - they are too high and no source is ever given) less than 5% of women in the USA are BPD. That's not no chance, just a very low probability,of ever meeting one. So generously double his already high figure to account for all the undiagnosed cases. You get to 1 in 10. Still not much chance.

While I agree that the incidence of BPD is not nearly as high as guys on forums like this claim, you may be forgetting some things. First, they run through the dating machine like bent quarters in a Laundromat, messing with tons more guys over time than the average woman dating. Second, they are usually cluster B, which means HPD, the types that are "out" constantly trying to sexualize every situation. They are simply in circulation more, flirt more, and end up in many short term relationships in a compressed period. Good, normal women marry out of circulation, or at least shack up, bear kids, whatever. BPDs tend not to until they hook a whale of a sucker. They will behave better with very wealthy men, but not a whole lot better. Until they land that, they are circulating furiously in and out of relationships. So yeah, maybe if you have $20 mill in the bank and five yachts (that's what a dude one of my exBPDs ended up with had... lucky him, what a trophy he got! Wonder if he's topped himself yet?), they will behave better. But not for the average successful guy.

I have dated two BPDs over 35 years of dating, dozens of short to longer relationships with normal (btchy, privileged, spoiled, ahole, -normal- women... not BPD. just bad), the BPDs came back to back coincidentally, and they both put an extreme mind f on me, a person who is very hard to mind f, and I was very experienced with women when I started with them. I sympathize with younger, less experienced men who end up with a real one, and would never discount their experience, the pain they suffer, as have seen it and felt it firsthand.

Younger guys, if you ever run across a real BPD, you will likely know something is very wrong after a brief honeymoon while they are holding things together. By that time, they will be so far up your ass that you will not pay attention to all the red flags, in fact may think they are making the relationship more real and close. They are often very good looking, comorbid with HPD, so they sexualize everything, are expert at NLPing you and giving you what "you need" in bed and everywhere else. Very easy to ignore red flags. The mean, violent ones are easy to dump, it's the "sweet" ones, which both of mine were, with lots of HPD and NPD blended into their cluster pathology, that are the real bears and mind fs. Brrrr.

To the OP post, as PairPlus says, they can hold it together at work more because they are not emotionally attached to work in the codependent way they are in relationships. They don't get "infatuated" with work. But they do have turbulent work careers too. Both of mine did. Remember, due to affirmative action, we have millions of walking talking female Peter Principles in the workplace due to "diversity" initiatives. They do sexualize the workplace, which tends to entrench them and protect them due to lawsuit concerns. They are usually in marketing, where they naturally excel. They are very good looking generally, and will have all the men in power eating out of their hands. So it's not really that puzzling that they can hold things down at work better than at home. If they do get canned, there's another sap of a company seeking "diversity" just around the corner to hire them. Most of them don't want children, so they stick in the workplace gaining "experience" more than other women. They can rise quite high, one of mine made 500k a year and the other 250k.

As far as "respect" goes? I disagree that they only do it to men they don't respect. They do it to everyone they date, the real BPDs anyway. They may hold off longer with the real scary stuff until they feel they have a target they "respect" on the hook, but it will come out sooner or later. I am someone who commands respect in every woman I date, have dumped far more women than have dumped me in life, always looking for reasons not to be exclusive, yet the two real BPDs I was with showed me what's what, cleaned my clock, chumped and punked me out good. It's not simply respect or lack of it, I assure you.

 

[captain55]

How many of you have ever wondered how a BPD woman holds down a job? Don't you find it suspicious that they can somehow control themselves and keep their emotions in check for an employer but not for the man in their lives?

How often do they flake out, lose their phone, forget to respond, etc. When the boss needs them? Or when they get a call for a job interview? Or even for their parents, friends, etc.?

Its funny that so many men haven't noticed this flaky BPD behavior from women exists almost exclusively in romantic relationships.

Now to provide some perspective... I have seen some women behave this way at work too. HOWEVER, in 100% of cases it was when the woman planned to quit her job or was already going on interviews for another job. So do the math.

BPD is usually by design. Women can control themselves.. but choose not to because they have no fear of retribution.

She can control herself as long as it takes for her to get in a relationship with the guy, then the mask comes off. A woman with BPD, while she may have some narcissistic tendencies is insecure and has no sense of identity. She believes she is worthless, therefore any man who commits to her she will automatically lose respect for. Doesn't matter how alpha you are really, if you commit....your a chump in her mind. She knows no guy worth anything would want her. Pretty much what dasein said, they do it to everyone..

 

[Poon King]

She can control herself as long as it takes for her to get in a relationship with the guy, then the mask comes off. A woman with BPD, while she may have some narcissistic tendencies is insecure and has no sense of identity. She believes she is worthless, therefore any man who commits to her she will automatically lose respect for. Doesn't matter how alpha you are really, if you commit....your a chump in her mind. She knows no guy worth anything would want her. Pretty much what dasein said, they do it to everyone..

Its not always BPD. Its just how women act when they don't respect the man they are dating.

If a woman can control herself in the beginning of a relationship or on a job interview then she can control herself in all other situations too. She chooses NOT to simply because she knows the loser she is dating will tolerate it. :crackup:

 

[Twodogs]

Its not always BPD. Its just how women act when they don't respect the man they are dating.

If a woman can control herself in the beginning of a relationship or on a job interview then she can control herself in all other situations too. She chooses NOT to simply because she knows the loser she is dating will tolerate it. :crackup:

It's not about them controlling themselves. It's just that they are feeling different emotions in the beginning, its the infatuation stage, you can truly do no wrong in their eyes.
You are the perfect man and they WILL show you that's how they feel.
The trouble is it's not viewed as a red flag unless you have experience with them, it appears more like a dream come true.
A beautiful girl that hangs on your every word, does everything to please you, fvcks like a pornstar, it's every guys dream!

But as she gets more attached the fear of being abandoned kicks in, the hampster runs off the rails and the sh1t starts to get real.

Understandably guys just want to get back to stage 1 and they hang in there trying to overcome drama after drama. But the stage 1 ship has sailed, it aint coming back and it can take some a long time to realise that.

A true low functioning Bpd will have tumultuous relationships in all areas of life but it is a spectrum disorder so it's no surprise that high functioning types will be able to keep it together in other areas.

 

[Trousersnake]

Why would anyone who's remotely sane want a BPD woman to respect them?

 

[Infern0]

I'm someone who dated and worked with a DIAGNOSED borderline.

She certainly did have serious difficulty holding down a job, having previously cycled through many.. when she worked with us we generally covered her ass because we didnt know what we were dealing with so we tried to help her out, we have a "got each others backs" attitude which she shared at first. and when she became a liability she did get managed out.

The disorder mainly gets triggered by romantic relationships though.

Things that affected work:

Loads of sick days
Lateness
Lack of focus/laziness
Panic and anxiety attacks
Always going to the bathroom (purging)
Rudeness including to customers

That's just a few.