Women are attracted to me, but when I introduce them to my friends...

[PeasantPlayer]

I've had this monkey on my back since I was a teenage. Women would be attracted to me, but when I introduced them to my friends they would take a liking to one of them. It doesn't happen all the time I would say 8/10 times, it doesn't bother me as much as it makes me curious as to way? I am not a introvert or a extrovert I am dead center in between I have more moments in both, I am insecure, but I feel everyone is at some point and we mask the ones we can. "fake it till you make it"

What I am asking is what am I projecting? I am better looking them my friends (not to toot my own horn) but they seem to do better with women. Funny thing is when they have girlfriends they take a liking to me, and I don't know if they notice it or not. I must be projecting some weird vibes if women with boyfriends like me, but when I bring a girl around that I want to bang or is banging they take a liking towards my friends and some of my friends I have a better personality then them and some I don't?

What do you fellas think it is?

 

[parkthebus]

Nice guy syndrome

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Could that be it? What am I giving off that is "nice guy ish" I want to shut it off (not completely)

 

[parkthebus]

To shut it off you need to be more aloof. Youre right, completely is not good. High T males are actually more altruistic than low T (at least when the observations are made on people who were given T injections). You need to be aloof. Don't seek attention ever. Always be on the lookout for a joke. I think you need to do some real self analysis on how you interact with your friends tbh.

 

[om1xr]

Girls who I'm fúcking never meet my friends not because of what you mention about liking them but because that make my life less dramatic when I dump them and some of your so called friends can fúck you up or ****block you at many moments when it comes to girls.

 

[Lozboss]

some of your so called friends can fúck you up or ****block you at many moments when it comes to girls.

Why are you hanging with these people? If they act like this they aint your friends.

OP - you need to stop being a nice guy. You also need to detach. If they go after your friends they are low quality, let them go- show that you couldn't give less of a sh*t.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

There will always be two types of people in our lives. The first are mates. They'll be casual acquaintances, team mates, distant relatives, people you might socialise with from time to time, drinking buddies. You might do things to help them out, lend the a few spot of cash, they might do the same for you. You might even be fck buddies. Generally these people will take, and you will take from them. They will be many, and the majority.

The second group are our associates. These people are those who will drop everything in a second if you need, they will give you what you need and will expect nothing in return. And you will do the same for them. Hard times will be faced and worked through together. They will be women that you know that will be compatible with your friends and family. This group will be small, but will grow with time unless you're a complete cnut.

There are a third group, a small one, who just take from everyone and give very little back.

It is very easy to mismatch the first two groups of people and assign someone to the wrong group. I've done it. The sooner we learn to discern between these groups the better, but it only comes with experience.

With view view to women, I am inclined to agree with om1xr, as I often do. My women rarely meet my friends these days, except a few I socialise with regularly. Otherwise, it's either one-one or I will occasionally socialise in their circles. Right now I'm only really after sex and the odd moment of companionship. I don't need a social escort. Am happy being the lone ranger on that front for now.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Interesting, thanks fellas

 

[El Payaso]

What the f*ck are you introducing them to your friends for.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

What the f*ck are you introducing them to your friends for.

Its like a test to me, i'm not in love with the girl so sometimes (not all the time) I will bring them around my friends. Some women I see absolutely nothing in the cards for us in terms of a LTR

 

[om1xr]

Why are you hanging with these people? If they act like this they aint your friends

I don't. That's why I put "so called" before friends.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Its like a test to me, i'm not in love with the girl so sometimes (not all the time) I will bring them around my friends. Some women I see absolutely nothing in the cards for us in terms of a LTR

This line of thinking is a mistake, and one of the reasons why these girls are falling for your friends. You shouldn't be all in love with the girl during those first few months of dating her, but you also have to keep in your head that the girl you're with COULD end up being someone you want a relationship with, and thus you have to proceed in your dating by doing or not doing things that will move the relationship (or whatever it is) forward. (Also: I don't see a purpose in dating just to date - if that's what you're doing that's your right, but if the girls you're dating are dating in hopes of having a relationship, you're wasting their time.)

Anyway... in answer to your direct question: you don't bring a girl around friends until you're sure she's "stuck on you." I have found this usually takes about 3 months - so, for the first 3 months you should only spend time with her when it's going to be you and her. See, if you haven't gotten a girl's feelings for you to the point where she's asking/begging to be your girlfriend, it means she's still assessing everything, and as such you are not yet her definite pick. You bringing around friends = you bringing around your own competition, which is no bueno. Once she starts asking for a relationship from you, that's your signal that her feelings are at a strong enough point to not be swayed as easily by other guy friends you introduce her to.

In sum: lay off introducing her to friends until she's the girlfriend.