Women and stalkers

[STR8UP]

Lately the women I know keep bringing up the term "stalker" a lot in conversation.

As far as I can tell, they are using the term loosely to describe a guy who has interest that they don't reciprocate, who might be a little too persistent. Maybe in a more extreme case they might even get some sort of a "creepy" vibe from the guy, but most of the time they aren't describing someone who drives by their house and puts letters on their car in the middle of the night.

I just thought it interesting how nowadays women would use the term so liberally.

I think this can be a lesson to all of us. We all know we shouldn't be needy and clingy, but where do you draw the line? It's better to attract and then show a bit of indifference. You gotta judge when it's the right time to back off and let her simmer, but it is usually (as Rollo would say) something that is counter-intuitive....in other words when you THINK you should be stepping up the contact you should probably actually be backing off a bit.

I suppose that once a chick labels you as a stalker, you can pretty much be assured that she has zero interest in you, so it's more a matter of gaging when a situation is unrecoverable and moving on.

What do you think?

 

[KontrollerX]

"What do you think?"

I think a female DJ would bring up the word stalkers to a guy that she is currently gaming in her presence to establish that she is desired and to also make it seem like the guy in front of her is the only one she is interested in since the others she mentions are "stalkers".

Meanwhile of course when its Guy #2's go round with her on Wednseday Guy #1 and the rest are the "stalkers".

 

[Centaurion]

It's just another example of the infamous 'chick logic'. Having a 'stalker' is twisted form for social-proof in the mind a of chick. I've seen chicks brag to their girlfriends and male(girl)friends about having 'stalkers'. When a chick says she is being 'stalked', 90% of the time it is a power play. They want you to know that they are being desired by other men, and that they have options.

I know several chicks that have hooked up with guys they refered to as a 'stalker'.

 

[Centaurion]

"What do you think?"

I think a female DJ would bring up the word stalkers to a guy that she is currently gaming in her presence to establish that she is desired and to also make it seem like the guy in front of her is the only one she is interested in since the others she mentions are "stalkers".

Meanwhile of course when its Guy #2's go round with her on Wednseday Guy #1 and the rest are the "stalkers".

Spot on!

I didn't read this before I posted.

 

[STR8UP]

I agree, it sometimes does have to do with asserting desirability. But it depends upon the context.

A couple of weeks ago when Deep Dish and I were out we met up with a couple of my female friends, and as soon as the first one saw me she came up to me and told me that two of her "stalkers" were there. I happen to know a little bit of the history with these guys, i think she hooked up with one but he DID kind of stalk her (trying to contact her numerous times after she made it very clear she wasn't interested) and the other one recognized her from her match.com profile when we were out one night, she never hooked up with him but we ended up bumping into him a couple of times when we were out and he even gave ME the creepy stalker vibe.

When she was talking about these guys she DID have a glow of satisfaction about having "stalkers".

The other chick that mentioned it was saying it in the context of "I can't find any decent men because they are this, that, or because they are stalkers" which I took to mean that guys tend to be too needy and clingy.

 

[joekerr31]

one word.....DRAMA.

come on guys, try to remember that women are more into drama than shakespear was!

women love love love drama.

they will invent drama if there isn't any in play.

women are emotional creatures and when there is DRAMA in their lives it allows them to behave emotionally without having to take responsibility for their actions.

the whole 'stalker' thing is just another expression of drama. they aren't doing it for any other reason than to make their life more exciting 'ooOOoo i've got a stalker.' - as though their life is like a page out of Basic Instinct or something.

while some women genuinely do have stalkers, and its a scary thing when its for real, MOST women don't. it is VERY easy for a woman to shoot a guy down so that he doesn't come around any more. most men will not pursue a woman who has given them the clear signal to stay away.

the reality is though that many women LOVE flirting with guys they have zero interest in. its called being an attention wh*re.

then, because they love drama, they will call these males that they flirt with and who then pursue them with 10 phone calls during the week, stalkers.

the reality is that 99% of these 'stalkers' are just AFCs who don't understand they are just being lead on by a woman to appease her need for attention and drama.

the DJ knows that once you ask her out, if she doesn't return your call, NEXT.

its sad to see women now terming AFCs stalkers, when most of the time the woman has dangled a carrot in front of the AFC and the AFC just thinks that if he works hard enough she'll let him eat it.

now why are women moving in this direction (becoming more and more harsh in their terminology towards men)?

in my opinion its because there are a ton of them who are hitting their late 20s and early 30s who are quickly realizing their dreams of getting married and having kids are going down the toilet. and instead of asking themselves how they have contributed to this reality, they instead choose to b*tch about men and cast them in a negative light.

 

[Metro3pilot]

Amen ..Joekerr

:rockon:

 

[bigjohnson]

in my opinion its because there are a ton of them who are hitting their late 20s and early 30s who are quickly realizing their dreams of getting married and having kids are going down the toilet. and instead of asking themselves how they have contributed to this reality, they instead choose to b*tch about men and cast them in a negative light.

Bingo.

In the not-so-distant past women had the sense to be married by the time they turned 30 so they'd at least have a wallet to raid when they decided their knight in greenback armor wasn't magically making them happy. Now they've been duped into thinking they might really be able to make it on their own and they have been able to fake it through their teens and twenties by getting their AW needs satisfied without nailing a guy down. Now they're getting very close to their pull date and starting to notice that no matter how dramatic they pretend life is a sharply increasing number of men ... don't notice.

Being not noticed is probably the worst thing a woman can endure.

Beside the definition of stalker in dictionaries there should be a picture of a 32 year old woman.


Fact is that guys should stay single until 30 and when they get into their 30s IF the idea of marriage is appealing (family, settling down, all that) then they should be looking at women in their 20s. Women in their 30s are SOL and have pretty limited options, but still have time to salvage a future. By 40 if they haven't established a history of faithful partnership with someone she might as well do what all the other 40 something women do and turn cougar, score some young côck as long as they can, then take up showing poodles.

 

[Darles]

What i've seen a guy do in the last week has totally made me think about how AFC's can be labeled stalkers but also how they really just need a slap in the face and a cold shower.

My sister who dumped her long term boyfriend over the summer has gone as far as calling the police as he's been trying to get in contact with her at least 2-3 times a day with phone calls/texts/voicemail etc.

It got to the point where my brother came home from work to find him sat on the doorstep. When i went to tell him my sister wasn't in he ended up pleading with me to get her to call him. Not a pretty sight i can tell you!

He did a bunch of other stuff like knocking on the door in the middle of the night, coming round with flowers and all that jazz.

Now this is my sister i'm talking about and i would stand up for her no matter what (blood is thicker than water etc,etc). However, with her carrying on with another dude at the same time it just reeks of drama.

There's no doubt she played the drama card with her old guy/new guy and the rest of my family. Call me cynical but that's just the way i see it.

The guy was just a 40yr old AFC and no stalker. Probably crapped himself when the police went round although, it was only his persistence and bloody stupidness that got him in trouble.

The image of him on the doorstep with his head in his hands is one that will haunt me for a long time.

Pure drama (or should that be comedy). I don't know.

 

[st_99]

agreed, its just filler talk (need to make life seem interesting).. blah blah blah. means nothing.

 

[st_99]

What i've seen a guy do in the last week has totally made me think about how AFC's can be labeled stalkers but also how they really just need a slap in the face and a cold shower.

My sister who dumped her long term boyfriend over the summer has gone as far as calling the police as he's been trying to get in contact with her at least 2-3 times a day with phone calls/texts/voicemail etc.

It got to the point where my brother came home from work to find him sat on the doorstep. When i went to tell him my sister wasn't in he ended up pleading with me to get her to call him. Not a pretty sight i can tell you!

He did a bunch of other stuff like knocking on the door in the middle of the night, coming round with flowers and all that jazz.

Now this is my sister i'm talking about and i would stand up for her no matter what (blood is thicker than water etc,etc). However, with her carrying on with another dude at the same time it just reeks of drama.

There's no doubt she played the drama card with her old guy/new guy and the rest of my family. Call me cynical but that's just the way i see it.

The guy was just a 40yr old AFC and no stalker. Probably crapped himself when the police went round although, it was only his persistence and bloody stupidness that got him in trouble.

The image of him on the doorstep with his head in his hands is one that will haunt me for a long time.

Pure drama (or should that be comedy). I don't know.

long time boyfriend getting dumped is a totally different dynamic than what the OP is talking about..

 

[Darles]

long time boyfriend getting dumped is a totally different dynamic than what the OP is talking about..

True.

 

[penkitten]

i hate it when they come into my office crying about their stalker ex bf, talk me into barring him from the property because they are oh so terrified because he tried to do whatever to them and won't leave them alone, then when the drama dies down, they invite him over for dinner or a sleep over or whatever.
that tells me they are drama-fied and he was never stalking them to begin with. so what do i do? i write them lease violations for interfering with management, or i call the police if they have some sort of epo in place.
they deserve to be in trouble for inviting them back around time after time.

 

[bigjohnson]

i write them lease violations for interfering with management, or i call the police if they have some sort of epo in place.
they deserve to be in trouble for inviting them back around time after time.

I can't rep you again, but I wish I could. good work, are you sure you're a girl?

 

[jophil28]

in my opinion its because there are a ton of them who are hitting their late 20s and early 30s who are quickly realizing their dreams of getting married and having kids are going down the toilet. and instead of asking themselves how they have contributed to this reality, they instead choose to b*tch about men and cast them in a negative light.

Let me tell you guys something here. Women in their late 40's and fifties STILL do the exact same shyte. Womne "learn" how to become so-called victims and they seem to play that role for personal gain ALL their lives. Last time I looked , the VICTIM mentality usually did not get into self awareness and self- realization. The VICTIM mind is too busy playing mindgames with her prey.
THis is why women never mature... MOst men are chumps and OBEY and pander to women because they think that to do so guarantees a flow of sex. THis AFC fawning and rescuing behavior /mentality rewards women for being immature and helpless.
Why grow up and take responsibility for your life when you got a golden pvssy and you are good at using men to get all the good stuff.

 

[jophil28]

Bingo.

In the not-so-distant past women had the sense to be married by the time they turned 30 so they'd at least have a wallet to raid when they decided their knight in greenback armor wasn't magically making them happy.

/QUOTE]

Yee ha ! Right on the money !

 

[drmeathead]

ive said it before and ill say it again

When a woman is in love with a man, he can do no wrong. When a woman falls out of love with a man, he can do no wrong.

The difference between romantic and stalker-esque is the frame of reference under which the act is done.

Now I am not discounting dangerous men that act simply to intimidate or cause other harm but they are few and far between. They are the rare exception not the rule. But if they werent stalkers then women's lives would be mundane and not worth paying attention too...God forbid

 

[Metro3pilot]

In the not-so-distant past women had the sense to be married by the time they turned 30 so they'd at least have a wallet to raid when they decided their knight in greenback armor wasn't magically making them happy.

heard a comedian say the other day ....

" women are not independent, they are ugly and if they werent independent they would be starving "

:rockon:

 

[yepyepyep]

Stalking makes no sense. Big cities have millions of chicks. The world has billions. If one chick's not interested there's probably a lot of others who aren't, so it makes no sense to waste energy on any particular one.