Women and Guy Friends

[Desdinova]

As many of us know, when a woman is friends with a guy, most likely he is/was romantically interested in her. We also know that the longer a guy is friends with a woman, the deeper he sinks into the "friend zone".

Believe it or not, sometimes an actual friendship develops between the two, and it will never be anything more.

Along comes you. You attract her to you and begin dating her immediately. But you find out that she has these guy friends. Some of them have been friends for years. Are these guys a threat to your relationship? Should you tell her to get rid of her guy friends?

Would you want to get rid of your female friends because she's jealous?

I think we have the answer here: Of course not! At least be fair. The guy friends shouldn't be an issue. After all, she rejected them years ago. Also, if you get all pissy because of some guy she's been friends with for 10 years, you're showing insecurity.

However, just because they're friends, it doesn't mean you can just sit back and relax. There always exists the small possibility (please note *small*) that something may change between the two of them.

I've always used the "She'll make her choice" state of mind. Basically, she shows through her actions who she wants to be with.

She can do the following without me taking action:

- Talking to some random guy
- Talking to some guy friend
- Occasionally go out for coffee with guy friend

These are actually quite harmless in themselves. But if she does the following, there's trouble:

- She goes out with him a lot
- She goes to do things with him that *couples* do
- She starts to act distant toward you
- She turns down plans with you to spend time with this "friend"
- She makes new guy friends

These are actions that show you're not the most important guy in her life anymore. The relationship's already over if she's doing any of the above.

In summary, read her actions and you'll know what's going on. She'll her make her choice.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Hey Desdinova that's a good tip.

But what do you think of this case:

1. A girl that hangs out with a lot of guy friends? /another link

2. A girl that is friends with her ex-Bfs?

Anyway, Mindovermatter posted a very good reply about this:

There are some signals to look for that will tell you whether you can trust your girl around other guys or not. They include:

-how flirty she is with her friends
-how much she shares with her friends during normal convo
-does she ignore you when they are around
-does she seem hesitant to show affection to you around them
-how flirty they are with her

If you see these, walk away and find someone else. Otherwise, relax, and enjoy life.

 

[Desdinova]

1. A girl that hangs out with a lot of guy friends?

Someone mentioned in the link you provided that she's an attention wh0re. I wholeheartedly agree. She's been conditioned by her guy friends to take advantage of them. She's been spoiled to the max.

2. A girl that is friends with her ex-Bfs?

The guy is an ex for a reason. Ex-bfs and ex-gfs belong in the past. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate an ex hanging around. A new bf or gf is a replacement for an ex, not a substitute.

Those points from MindOverMatter are indeed very good.

 

[DJDamage]

Good tip! one must remember that although your girlfriend guy friends can be weasels, one must remember that they are like any other guy walking the street, something might or might not happen.

Therefore you shouldn't be mad on those guys trying to sarge your girl because they don't owe you sh1t they are not your friends they are HER FRIENDS, and if this relationship ever ends, her guy friends will mean nothing to you and neither will you to them.

But if she is committed to you and cheats on you with them, you should get mad on her and only her!. An AFC is the kind of guy who will get mad on her friends and will go after them while believe the crocodile tears of his cheating girlfriend and forgive her.

A DJ will not tolerate cheating beacuse its disrespectful, and if you let her even once get away with it you are leaving the door wide open for others to enter. As soon as she cheats on you, you dissapear completly out of her life, no explanation, no emotions, but leave her with nothing. You are already to buzy looking for a replacement.