"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Women and empathy

MtmVaott

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Just because women don't show you empathy when you want it it means they have no empathy?!
How do you guys think women read social situations??

And yes women can show empathy when you tell them a problem of yours, if they can relate. Of course, if you tell her a situation she never experienced, she is unable to have empathy.
And yes, women might start to nurture and show pity, which is not empathy. It means she is unable to relate or doesn't want to. And if she acts aggressively she's for the streets and not well suited for something really serious. IMO.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Gypsypie

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Women generally struggle to manage when intense negative emotions like extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, or depression repeatedly consume a man. They may want to support their man, but the extended manifestation of such emotions is difficult to endure. Men's raw, unfiltered expressions of feelings may appear intimidating or overwhelming, leading to unease and discomfort.
I can relate to this. When faced with extreme anger or rage, depression etc. I'll withdraw. Move away from the situation and wait until it's calmed down. I tend to think whatever I say at that point isn't going to be helpful and might make it worse and I'm uncomfortable with it. I don't know how to react. Once it's calm I'm more than willing to show empathy, discuss things, find solutions but at that point usually a man is done with it and doesn't want to discuss it.
 

Manure Spherian

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Might even be 90/10 or 95/05. But Pareto’s principle doesn’t have to be the effective application in the dating world.

Here’s what I mean by that. Each man has to weigh what is most important right? So let’s use your math and say only 20% of available women have empathy/are truly supportive of men. Well that makes sense really. The majority of unattached women are unattached because there is something about these women that repels men. For some they have unfortunate looks, for some they got fat, for some they have ugly attitudes, for some they are users, on and on. So only 20% of women are pleasant to be around. What percentage of pleasant women are also objectively physically attractive? Ah now the percent shifts to 90/10 or even 95/05.

And so as a man do you really want to get sexual only 5% of the time? Probably not. If you can you’d like to laid more often than that. Therefore getting the weenie wet is higher priority than finding a pleasant personality in an attractive girl.

And that is why we have threads like this. When you settle in favor of sex as the highest priority all those other characteristics are secondary.

And thusly these men are ruled by the penis first which begets all the complaints about women’s nature. My son doesn’t have these complaints and neither does my husband. Why? Because holding out for a top 5% woman was/is more important than having sex.

Food for thought.
Great post!

When I’ve had men complain to me about women generally, I have several times answers, “The solution is simple: avoid most women. Go for one you like.”

After that response, they usually have nothing to say.
 
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