Women admire your calmness

[jhonny9546]

How often do you get compliments from women that You make them feel listened to, that it's possible to talk to you calmly and peacefully, that they feel calm and at ease when they talk to you.

It doesn't matter if they're engaged, single, married, divorced, in any relationship status.

I've always received compliments for this quality of mine; it's as if I can connect deeply with them. As if they actually open and feel vulnerable. And they actually admire and respect this thing like it is a feauture.


P.S.: I'm not saying you should emotionally tampon women, if you know what you're doing, but rather that women recognize this quality in you.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

I'd say that this is a good thing to be able to do. Especially for anything more than an ONS.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Women(and many men, for that matter)actually appreciate my steering them towards cutting to the proverbial chase in conversations

 

[obelisk]

Emotional non-reactivity and emotional control are two of the foundational tools missing from most people in society.

 

[jhonny9546]

Emotional non-reactivity and emotional control are two of the foundational tools missing from most people in society.

This!
Everyone is really reactive. Do women consider that attractive? Or just the trauma bond signals them "this is a good man".

It's like I start to sense women whose nervous systems are going into fight or flight mode because you're so calm and quiet. You know what I mean? Have you ever experienced that?

 

[Travel memoir21]

I don’t think admire is the right word for it. More like Respect,…..it’s your job to be calm, a steady gentle lethal force in the face of chaos while she can whine and b1tch all she wants. Unless there’s an emergency, it’s your job to show her this position most of the time.

 

[plumber]

This!
Everyone is really reactive. Do women consider that attractive? Or just the trauma bond signals them "this is a good man".

It's like I start to sense women whose nervous systems are going into fight or flight mode because you're so calm and quiet. You know what I mean? Have you ever experienced that?

our own nervous system needs to be calm. across all of life control of nervous system is important. and as a bonus, being happy is really based on nervous system control. next of course is how to do that ?? its easy to tell it should be done, but how ??

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I would say 'expect'.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I don’t think admire is the right word for it. More like Respect,…..it’s your job to be calm, a steady gentle lethal force in the face of chaos while she can whine and b1tch all she wants. Unless there’s an emergency, it’s your job to show her this position most of the time.

I would say, especially in an emergency.

 

[Askaladd]

next of course is how to do that ?? its easy to tell it should be done, but how ??

Meditation. The breath controls who we are. Breathe fast and shallow and you will never relax. Breathe slow and deep and your nervous system will be calm.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

our own nervous system needs to be calm. across all of life control of nervous system is important. and as a bonus, being happy is really based on nervous system control. next of course is how to do that ?? its easy to tell it should be done, but how ??

Dangerous job and/or risky hobbies/sports. Once you've survived a few of these, everything falls into perspective. And stuff she panics about will seem almost irrelevant to you. .

 

[Gamisch]

I agree HOWEVER it's should be mentioned that a whole lot of women do get involved with men who react to their...emotions so to.say.

The emotional roller-coaster is a real thing. It's a very thin between: being aloof> being an emotional tampon> being boring and tasteless.

As always BALANCE is the key. There gotta be things you're passionate about as a man,things that make your adrenaline pump while she sits by your side. Sometimes you gotta call put her bs and let her know that enough is enough.

Now I think about it; being calm ALL the time might actually be a beta trait.

 

[jhonny9546]

I would say, especially in an emergency.

Not really an emergency, but when there is something to discuss about, or something to become mad, or arrogant about.
I just hear many men out there raising their voice for the smallest things like daily interactions.
Like they want to portray more power by having a decisive, raised, powerful voice, rather than a calm and still being powerful

 

[jhonny9546]

Dangerous job and/or risky hobbies/sports. Once you've survived a few of these, everything falls into perspective. And stuff she panics about will seem almost irrelevant to you. .

I can relate, but I won't have a dangerous daily job. Better to keep those things on your weekends

 

[jhonny9546]

I agree HOWEVER it's should be mentioned that a whole lot of women do get involved with men who react to their...emotions so to.say.

The emotional roller-coaster is a real thing. It's a very thin between: being aloof> being an emotional tampon> being boring and tasteless.

As always BALANCE is the key. There gotta be things you're passionate about as a man,things that make your adrenaline pump while she sits by your side. Sometimes you gotta call put her bs and let her know that enough is enough.

Now I think about it; being calm ALL the time might actually be a beta trait.

You said something I've always thought about and never found the truth...
I'm just calm, I don't really care what women think of me.

But I have always seen this work, starting with my mother and father.
And their relationship is very turbulent.

As far as things you like that get your adrenaline pumping it's really like taking her on a roller coaster ride together.


I'm sorry for everything and everyone, but I prefer to remain calm. I don't think it's a beta trait.
More than calm I would say "emotionally unreactive"
There will be women attracted to a reactive man, others to a non-reactive man.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I can relate, but I won't have a dangerous daily job. Better to keep those things on your weekends

Yes. Live longer that way.

 

[Gamisch]

You said something I've always thought about and never found the truth...
I'm just calm, I don't really care what women think of me.

But I have always seen this work, starting with my mother and father.
And their relationship is very turbulent.

As far as things you like that get your adrenaline pumping it's really like taking her on a roller coaster ride together.


I'm sorry for everything and everyone, but I prefer to remain calm. I don't think it's a beta trait.
More than calm I would say "emotionally unreactive"
There will be women attracted to a reactive man, others to a non-reactive man.

I'll elaborate on what I mean by beta.

Again, it's a thin line between remaining calm and being a pushover.

No latter how stoic you are / try to be you'll ALWAYS dealing with another person's emotions.

So yes, you can be " always calm" but to what degree is that even possible when the woman you're dealing with is always in turmoil. Now suddenly you're calm is a weakness. Nothing is completely black and white in life...

I'd say if you wanna live a calm life ,you should pick a partner that's calm as well...if you're woman is a wild one, you might have to adjust to her level as that will be HER communication style. Imagine a couple where the woman is screaming and the man stays silent. That's not NECESSARILY alpha behaviour.

 

[jhonny9546]

Imagine a couple where the woman is screaming and the man stays silent. That's not NECESSARILY alpha behaviour.

It's not even yelling.
I think when you're in a couple like that, you want to get out.

 

[Sandow]

I think it really depends on the girl. If shes looking for excitement, being a good listener won’t do anything, it’s prob the last thing she’s looking for, unless she’s looking for a friend. However I found that older girls are much more responsive to this calm, listener type. I‘m assuming because the majority of younger girls have had their share of ****ty experiences with bad boys and know this type isn’t sustainable. The I don’t give a fck personality for guys works early on, understandably so. However Girls will catch on to this when they get older and wiser. They’ll seek out that nice guy to marry in hopes of never being hurt again. But that only lasts so long. Girls will realize that there is a still a need of that thrill (which is a sign of addiction but that’s an another story). Bottom line, some girls don’t need that thrill and can carry on. This type is responsive to the calm, listener type. For the girls that need thrill, well we all know what type that is.

 

[jhonny9546]

@Sandow


Very good!
You nailed it.

Well, considering the age group after 35, then you definitely want to be a better man.

That said, I think we all change and women still have preferences for humor, and the fact that men amuse them, but beyond that, if a woman has a good head, she doesn't want a man who will make her experience rollercoasters even at an older age.
She's looking for something deeper.
What are your experiences?