Women act different around me

killercat2007

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2012
Messages
10
Reaction score
0
Okay this is freaking strange. I don't know what this is called but I need you guys to break it down for me and help me understand how to change this. It is really starting to annoy me and has been going on for a while.

Myself
I am an extremely attractive male and am normally always very well dressed. I have a great personality and am very flirty to the women I meet.

My situation
This has been ongoing and I have caught numerous women doing this to me.
Okay I walk into a room and I see a HB 7-8. I chat her up, get her name or strike up some light convo. My deal is wtf? HB's 7-8 seem to act different around me. So here is what happens. I see these HB's hitting up and approaching all these average dudes and carrying on with them. I sit there seeing her approach some random guy and start talking and not even giving him any beef totally freaking free. She never comes up to me like that in a freaking carefree mood. I have to go around freaking approaching women getting the cold shoulder from the same chick that was just having a blast with every other guy in the place.

Are women freaking intimated by me that have to do all the freaking work of approaching chicks I already know? Wtf this is annoying. Why aren't chicks like that with me? I feel like HB's hold me up to some unattainable standard where I have to get everything going and keep it going. Maybe they are insecure around me LOL. Why do I have to do all the work and why aren't these chicks approaching me all cool and comfortable like every other guy they act around? Is this how they treat me because they are attracted to me or something?
 

Leopold

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
194
Reaction score
4
Location
Florida
Not sure what's going on but I think you and I are on the same page. For some reason I can tell a girl likes me but instead... she just decides to pretend I'm not there. Its like if she was lying to herself. They usually try to evade making eye contact with me. It really frustrates me sometimes but I just dont let affect me too much. I'll just pass it as a "low interest" and move on.

I dont know about the approaching other guys tho... cant relate much with that.
 

floydb25

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,778
Reaction score
107
Location
NC
Not sure... Girls told me I was intimidating when asking why other girls wouldn't look at me as they were walking by. Some of them even looked angry - like they wanted me to die. Or they'd get super shy, and not look at me directly in the eyes. I've also had girls try to make me feel like **** for no apparent reason.

Girls fear rejection and get insecure, too. It's better to talk to someone without fear of getting rejected than by someone you like. They tend to drop subtle hints in hopes that you'll catch on and show interest in them, so that they can be assured that you like them. Things like getting in your space, walking by you, and talking to those around you. They might want you to talk to them - without having to talk to you first. If they sense you'll reject them - they'll try to reject you first.

They might also assume you're a player, and treat you like **** or avoid you automatically. Or, they might be insecure about your exterior success, and try to bring you down and make you feel unimportant. Its not just guys that use neg hits, act uninterested, and treat good-looking people poorly. They assume you already get attention, have options, are egotistical, etc, and want to stand out from the crowd, or bring you down to normal levels. None of this dating stuff is gender-specific - they use the same **** on us, too.

Generally, its the man's role to approach - especially if you are attractive, well-dressed, and sociable. They don't want to make a fool of themselves, and become unaccepted by someone of high status. Women are horribly insecure when it comes to acceptance, or being part of a certain crowd. They might also assume that you're an arrogant jerk who will put them down, or laugh at them for not being "good enough". Behind that pretty face is usually an insecure girl. A lot of stuff they do is a defensive mechanism to prevent rejection of any kind. Yea... They never liked you anyway, so it doesn't matter if you reject them... So they act like they don't care, and give you the cold shoulder.

These higher class girls are also egotistical, stuck up, snobby, and arrogant themselves, and become extremely competitive / want to be one-up on everyone at all times. Being attractive won't change how they treat you. In fact, they'll probably treat you even worse.

But really, if they treat you like this now - imagine how they're going to treat you later. That's another thing to keep in mind. You don't want to be with a snobby ***** who gives you the cold shoulder, plays crap games, and acts like she's too good for you, do you? People always reveal their true colors. Gotta pick on them, and plan accordingly. They won't change.
 

Zerro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
576
Reaction score
24
Leopold said:
I dont know about the approaching other guys tho... cant relate much with that.
I can and I decided some time ago that when a chick does that to me then she's unworthy of my attention. If I need to enter her presence I'll pretty much disregard her, if I need to speak with the people she's talking to I'll have no problem going up and talking to them as if she isn't there.

Go ahead and hit on other girls right in front of them, especially ones who are responsive. They can only take so much of being treated as if they're invisible before they either drop the act or bugger off completely.

I'm a firm believer that a amount of attention that a girl receives from you should be proportional to what you receive from her. If she won't give you anything then she is deserving of nothing.
 

Aaron B

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2005
Messages
911
Reaction score
29
that's game

she's seeing what you are made of

the average dudes got no game and since she wants to see how you will react to her interacting with other dudes, she's got to initiate the conversation herself

from her perspective, if you really are the bad boy that she hopes you are, then you won't be knocked off your game when she pay attention to other males

she's gathering information
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
killercat2007 said:
Okay this is freaking strange. I don't know what this is called but I need you guys to break it down for me and help me understand how to change this. It is really starting to annoy me and has been going on for a while.

Myself
I am an extremely attractive male and am normally always very well dressed. I have a great personality and am very flirty to the women I meet.

My situation
This has been ongoing and I have caught numerous women doing this to me.
Okay I walk into a room and I see a HB 7-8. I chat her up, get her name or strike up some light convo. My deal is wtf? HB's 7-8 seem to act different around me. So here is what happens. I see these HB's hitting up and approaching all these average dudes and carrying on with them. I sit there seeing her approach some random guy and start talking and not even giving him any beef totally freaking free. She never comes up to me like that in a freaking carefree mood. I have to go around freaking approaching women getting the cold shoulder from the same chick that was just having a blast with every other guy in the place.

Are women freaking intimated by me that have to do all the freaking work of approaching chicks I already know? Wtf this is annoying. Why aren't chicks like that with me? I feel like HB's hold me up to some unattainable standard where I have to get everything going and keep it going. Maybe they are insecure around me LOL. Why do I have to do all the work and why aren't these chicks approaching me all cool and comfortable like every other guy they act around? Is this how they treat me because they are attracted to me or something?
Your not alone, this happens to me too. Although im a bit quiet sometimes, Sometimes i get a cold shoulder vibe, but then again the girl will keep glancing over at me, i can tell from my side vision. Almost all the girls i have gotten to know tell me the same thing and it sucks because im not like that. Im a player, or I look like im full of myself or they assume im talking to a bunch of girls when im not. Sometimes i just think, im not all attractive i guess but then i hear so and so thinks im hot and the other thinks im so sexy but they act like im not even there. However for whatever **** sake reason, fat girls or HB5 flirt with me, or smile or make a quick comment and call me honey,sweetie..etc. Part of it is my fault though, i should open them up with convo more but anyway.... There is this one girl at my local food shop, shes not even hot but i find her to be really cute, ive caught her staring at me lol but last weekend i went in and lo and behold it was her at the checkout... I wanted to say something but she avoided all EC with me and i got a cold vibe.... i should of made quick chit chat anyway :confused:
 

ryanjevo

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2012
Messages
46
Reaction score
1
Aaron B said:
that's game

she's seeing what you are made of

the average dudes got no game and since she wants to see how you will react to her interacting with other dudes, she's got to initiate the conversation herself

from her perspective, if you really are the bad boy that she hopes you are, then you won't be knocked off your game when she pay attention to other males

she's gathering information

I'm going to second this. It's a devious little sh1t test. Is your confidence truly innate or does it vanish once the girl does things to make you jealous? She wants something innate, not faked.

Just ignore it and keep on your feet. Hit on more girls and in all seriousness just next her since she is being like that. Nexting would probably increase your chances with her.
 

floydb25

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,778
Reaction score
107
Location
NC
You also don't want to assume that everything is a test, though. This got me into a lot of heat back in the day - especially with the devious, unfaithful, manipulative types. I took everything they did as a test, tried connecting everything together, making sense of it all... When they were just *****es and players trying to get their way, treating people like garbage, and trying to justify it all. And here I was, thinking they were testing to see how nice, genuine, faithful, etc I was.

Even if they are testing you - they're not important enough to care about. Once you get into chase mode - bad things are going to happen. Don't let it get to you, give in, or view them as a prize. Just keep chugging along, and don't worry about game-players. They are always bad news.
 

Dkal

New Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2012
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
If they sense you'll reject them - they'll try to reject you first.
I like that.
I frame it a little differently though. If they're scared of being rejected by you, they'll either be defensive or reject you. It depends on the reason they're scared.

To generalize (there are too many factors at play here), if you're humble and they're scared, then they act the way do because they have a wall up. If your not so humble and they're scared, they'll be contemptuous of you and reject you for revenge.

Obviously you need to find ways to not scare them, either by being more social or friendly.
I've worked on my body language, became good at not showing interest, exuding confidence, and appearing high-value. This sort of thing happens to me a lot. Added on to the fact that who I am and what I'm exuding is extremely incongruent, I get scared that that I'll disappoint them and that I won't reach their high expectations. Any thoughts on that?
 

window

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2007
Messages
473
Reaction score
7
if you are an extremely good looking guy then it is probably auto rejection which means the women do not see you as attainable on many levels. On a sub concious level they know that it just doesnt work. Probably your best solution is to approach better looking women. The other option is be more attainable / less of a challenge. i.e make yourself more accessible. Probably key here for you is to dress down a bit so your clothes actually mask your looks. If you are walking around dressed up as an Armani model then these chicks are just going to think wtf is he talking to me for.
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,406
Reaction score
1,108
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Aaron B said:
that's game

she's seeing what you are made of

the average dudes got no game and since she wants to see how you will react to her interacting with other dudes, she's got to initiate the conversation herself

from her perspective, if you really are the bad boy that she hopes you are, then you won't be knocked off your game when she pay attention to other males

she's gathering information
I third this!
 
U

user43770

Guest
It's possible that they are intimidated by your stunning looks and charming personality, and that's why they ignore you (younger women especially). It's also possible that you've misjudged your attractiveness in the eyes of women; you simply may not be the hot sh1t you think you are.

killercat2007 said:
Are women freaking intimated by me that have to do all the freaking work of approaching chicks I already know?
If girls you already know are ignoring you, it might mean that they just don't like you. Then again, maybe they want to fvck you. That's on you to find out. I'm not sure what kind of answers you were expecting to receive from a bunch of strangers who have never met you.
 

killercat2007

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 31, 2012
Messages
10
Reaction score
0
window said:
if you are an extremely good looking guy then it is probably auto rejection which means the women do not see you as attainable on many levels. On a sub concious level they know that it just doesnt work. Probably your best solution is to approach better looking women. The other option is be more attainable / less of a challenge. i.e make yourself more accessible. Probably key here for you is to dress down a bit so your clothes actually mask your looks. If you are walking around dressed up as an Armani model then these chicks are just going to think wtf is he talking to me for.
Approach better looking women? I regularly approach HB's 7-8. Are you saying I should try to approach more HB's 9-10 (perfect tens don't really exist)? Maybe they are not on my level sexually you are saying? I am really stunned by this comment. My confidence level is really high around HB's 5-6 and really comfortable around HB's 7 but HB's 8 is where I start getting nervous and knocked off my game. I have never approached a HB 9-10. Are you saying I should try this?
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,043
Reaction score
498
Approach by making fun of yourself, be funny. By being funny you are telling them you need their approval by them laughing. This humbles you, makes you more real. Don't take yourself too seriously.
 

st_99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2006
Messages
1,788
Reaction score
57
Aaron B said:
that's game

she's seeing what you are made of

the average dudes got no game and since she wants to see how you will react to her interacting with other dudes, she's got to initiate the conversation herself

from her perspective, if you really are the bad boy that she hopes you are, then you won't be knocked off your game when she pay attention to other males

she's gathering information

this sounds plausible but i also agree that if you are chatting girls below your level so to speak, they will not respond positively.

I think they assume you are clowning around with them not taking them seriously, in other words.. they are insecure and go on auto defense. idk, i could be totally wrong but i think this does happen.
 

Chamber36

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
1,561
Reaction score
291
Location
Amsterdam
I think this is a really interesting thread because I am also a handsome man. However it's possible for all of us to let our looks get sloppy by not having our hair cut or wearing dirty shoes, for example.

I can tell you that the better you look, the better the reactions you'll get. So there's no point ever scaling that down, just look your best.

Now what I've got to say about these women.... I experience something like your story all the time. I don't know why, but women seem to be intimidated/easily scared off by me as well. I think it may be that as you gain more intelligence of "game" you need women who really know what they want.

There could be a million possible explanations for it. I'd have to say most of them come down to situational context. I mean these women live in their own worlds and just see things however they want.

Of course your looks aren't the only factor, it could be the look in your eye/body language as well. Maybe your voice isn't completely right.

Most of them are probably waiting for you to snatch another girl to see if you have preselection though. I think, unless they see you surrounded by girls (preferably for 10-15 minutes), they won't believe in your game.

You might think they can see the game in your eye, or in the way you walk and talk, but unless you can instill it in their minds with smooth talk or visibly show it to them that other girls want you, or best yet, physically escalate with them, they might not actually believe that you have real game.

If you got game, make the sale, I say.
 
Top