Woman who can't raise kids

[backbreaker]

My dad and I haven't been on speaking terms for a decade. My kids have never seen him.


I thought it was time to bury the hatchet and invited him and his new family to my place out here. Apparently I have a a new step sister who is 23 and kinda hot lol


Anyway this new step sister has a two year old and it's just clear she ain't ready to raise a kid. O hate people who get mad at kids for being kids, for doing inquisitive **** like playing in water that's what two year olds do they are exploring the world around them. They are going to put everything in their mouth lol


I'm sorry kids are an inconvenient part of your life but if u ain't ready for kids don't have them. I wish someone would yell at my daughter for doing normal kid **** like playing with the phone

 

[btownbuck2012]

What's truly sad is that the kid will then grow up to probably be just as f*cked up as the adult who wasn't ready to raise them in the first place.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Most people aren't ready for a dog, much less a kid.

 

[Billtx49]

More young people need to be taught about the possible consequences of fvcking…
Where’s HS sex ed when you and her really need it on a dark night in the backseat of a Chevy?

 

[AJ84]

There's a misconception that women are naturally the better parents just by virtue of being female. I've met lots of males who seemed to parent better.

That said, there is nothing more annoying then parenting advice and criticism from people who have zero experience raising children.

And not all single moms do a terrible job. Massive generalization.

 

[highSpeed]

Women can't raise kids on their own, pure and simple. Women are not natural boundary setters, especially when it comes to kids. The number one reason we have the problems in society that we do today is because of single mother households. I'm not saying that they are or are not more nurturing or empathetic, but they tend to raise kids like another little kid would raise a kid. A man usually will not give in to constant nagging and will eventually set some type of firm boundary. A woman will usually give in. Without a father, a father who is in a position to lead a household, those kids will end up running the house, guarantee.

 

[AJ84]

I don't have to have had children to know when someone is doing a bad job. Also the majority of criminals are literally raised by single mothers. To assume most single mothers do a good job is ridiculous. The evidence show otherwise.

One major problem with society is the being a single mother is socially acceptable and now the norm. There should be an incentive for women to avoid being a single mother because it causes a lot of problems that primarily men get held accountable for, directly or indirectly (ie men are responsible for the majority of if tax revenue and the majority of tax revenue that goes to helping actual people goes to primarily women).

That's why on this forum we discourage being in serious relationships with single mothers. I ignored this advice and now have learned the hard way. There is usually something wrong with single mothers, the fact they're a single mother says a lot about them. Excluding exceptions of course.

No where in my post did I imply that most single mothers do a good job.

Yes I agree that there should be incentives for women to avoid being single mothers. Absolutely.

And if I was a guy I too would likely not get involved with the complications that come with dating a single mom.

But I get the sense that when guys make reference to single mothers, it's the baby daddy welfare cases they are referring to. There are certainly a lot of those kinds of single mothers but there are also a lot of educated working single mothers who got divorced and then there are widows etc. Like you stated, exceptions.

Environment plays a role as well. A two parent family living in the ghetto vs a one parent family living in an upper middle class suburb.

 

[AJ84]

Women can't raise kids on their own, pure and simple. Women are not natural boundary setters, especially when it comes to kids. The number one reason we have the problems in society that we do today is because of single mother households. I'm not saying that they are or are not more nurturing or empathetic, but they tend to raise kids like another little kid would raise a kid. A man usually will not give in to constant nagging and will eventually set some type of firm boundary. A woman will usually give in. Without a father, a father who is in a position to lead a household, those kids will end up running the house, guarantee.

Courts should give more sole custody to the fathers then. But they don't based on the assumption that females are natural nurturers. The mother really has to be a complete train wreck not to get custody of her kids.

It would be interesting to see what would happen if more and more men became single fathers with custody of the children. Would they seek child support? Welfare? Subsidies for daycare fees so they can go to work or school? I mean they would have to feed and house the kids and they can't take them to work right?

Being a single parent, mother or father, is a struggle when you need to work and have childcare and pay for everything and be the one who has to take time off work when the kids sick etc etc. It's one thing to be left as a single parent after a divorce or death of a spouse but when you are single and get knocked up or get someone knocked up....

 

[AJ84]

More guys need to get a clue to how women procreate, the level of delusion, and the general gaslighting which surrounds it.

In this age, no woman is having children which she doesn't want to have. The birth control options for women are simply astounding. A woman having a kid is a woman that has chosen to conceive.

And the most often way it's done is without consent of the father.

This is so common that it amazes me. Women take anything other than a red light as a green one. When a woman asks your opinion on kids, it needs to be made clear with words and actions that you don't want any or she takes that as permission to do it at her leisure.

This has happened to me with a girl who lied that she was on that thing they put in their arm. One of my female cousins did it a few years back - getting pregnant age 33 and then suddenly having an "accident" with the birth control on finding a great provider (she'd had an abortion before too, not this time though lol).

Another girl did it in my social circle. I even bumped into her at the doctors, and she supposedly had that birth control in her arm, only to get pregnant. Blatantly had it removed. The guy says he's not ready to be a father, and everyone is going hard on him that "he should have thought about that, and do the right thing".

Another recent case was a male cousin who started going out with a single mum off Tinder (who had massive red flags). She had a "false alarm". He failed to dump her. Then she legit got pregnant (what a surprise).

It's exactly as this Tom Leykis call shows in the level of gaslighting and delusion that women employ on this. Usually supporting each other and colluding in it (aided by white-knights parrotting "do the right thing") which Leykis doesn't do here to amusing results. (8 minutes and 45 seconds in)

Yeah. It's really not that hard to avoid a pregnancy. There's actually only two or three days out of the month you can even conceive anyway if you're not on birth control. Lots of options for birth control and back up of you miss a pill here or there so really it's super easy to not get pregnant.

I know a girl who got pregnant and told her boyfriend her IUD fell out. Fell out......:/

 

[Billtx49]

Some women want what they don’t have via their biological urges whether they’re ready for the long term consequences or not…
Emotional/ biological thinking at it’s best. Try not to put yourself in a position to be named baby daddy if it’s not what you currently want…
The problem lies in the details of what she wants vs. what you want.

 

[AJ84]

Educated professional single mothers don't even have time to spend enough time with there kids.

Neither would an educated professional single father.

 

[AJ84]

except its never traditionally been expected of a father to be the stay-at-home parent

Which is part of the reason why mothers get custody and child support and fathers get left in the dark.
Until those traditional views change in the family court system, fathers will continue to get treated badly.

 

[AJ84]

men are perfectly capable of working and raising their kids alone successfully. But that's not the issue. Women should learn to re-embrace their traiditional gender role. Feminism isn't empowering. Femininity is. We don't need to become a homogenous species.

There's a reason I have a penis and you have a vagina

And so have a lot of women. Again, not all single mothers are the same.

And women reverting to their traditional gender roles means men footing the bill for the whole family. Get laid off, your business fails? There goes that one salary that fed everyone. Do you really want that kind of responsiblity in an age where two parent incomes are becoming more of a necessity just to provide basic needs and save for retirement?

modern society is not family friendly.

 

[Magotrox]

Nietzsche was right. People are becoming Nihilists, egoists, and so on. Everything is chosen by the pleasure alone. No place to duties or obligations. Some troubles you can only avoid, but once you're in, there's no solution, but to endure.

 

[Magotrox]

That's a related but separate issue (consumerism)

Feminism is part of the reason for the current economic crisis we are in.

It wasn't the technology or a fight back against some sort oppresion -real or perceived- that allowed women to free up their days from the honorable role of keeping a tidy home and raising their children. It was the collective social shift of "if men can do it, women should do it too"

Some conspiracy theorist even believe feminism was hijacked, funded and pushed by the elite in order to tax the entire household and secure a consumerism way of life for the average citizen. Which doesn't sound all that crazy

Indeed.

 

[AJ84]

This wasn't a problem when women weren't participating much in the work force. A man used to work at a factory and be able to afford a 2 story house, two cars and pay for college for four kids.

Women make the work place less efficient. I mean your argument is wrong on so many levels.

Back when the cost of living was much lower and men could trust that they had a factory job where they could 'grow with the company' not be replaced by contract workers or technology, have benefits and a pension. Yep it sure was easier back then.

But this ain't the 50s is it.

And that system isn't coming back, so the choice is to whine about it or make the best of it and move forward on your own terms, whatever those are, but you can't turn back time and you can't stuff feminism back into it's box so ....

 

[AJ84]

That's a related but separate issue (consumerism)

Feminism is part of the reason for the current economic crisis we are in.

It wasn't the technology or a fight back against some sort oppresion -real or perceived- that allowed women to free up their days from the honorable role of keeping a tidy home and raising their children. It was the collective social shift of "if men can do it, women should do it too"

Some conspiracy theorist even believe feminism was hijacked, funded and pushed by the elite in order to tax the entire household and secure a consumerism way of life for the average citizen. Which doesn't sound all that crazy

I don't think women should try to do every job that men can do. They simply can't do some of those jobs and I always chuckle to myself when I hear about "what men can do women can do" crap. Not all women buy into that, because we're not all the same, contrary to what some guys may think.

I also don't read into conspiracy theories too much because there will always be some schizophrenic conspiracy theory behind every little thing, that 'makes sense'.

 

[AJ84]

I think that the problem in a nutshell is even in a context where women have complete power, they still expect (need?) men to assume all (or most) of the responsibilty.

There's perhaps no greater example than with this particular issue. And I see the same thing, more subtle, in many other parts of life also as a standard. When the same sorts of ingrediants combine: blameless woman that has social leverage, man whom to place a burden on, and white-knight drones to tow the line, mischief ensues.

In fact, those are sort of the conditions necessary for feminism, also.

I agree, having the power yet expecting others to take the responsibility (I'm still a damsel mentality) is a problem. It's hypocritical and one thing I can't stand is hypocrisy. I cringe when women use being a women as some get out of jail free card. It's insulting to all women, in my opinion.

The average woman doesn't buy into a lot of what feminists are going on about these a days. The average woman doesn't think there's rape culture.

I don't think women should only be wives and mothers but I do see there there is a lot of hypocrisy in modern feminism. Unfortunately I live in very liberal city where I have to keep this view to myself most of the time.

And I do think that the family court system holds on to traditional views that makes things unfair for men.

 

[AJ84]

"Some" of those jobs is actually most.

Sure whatever. Most jobs then. Got it.

 

[AJ84]

Why do you think for 99.9% of history women had different rights, priveleges and a different place than men in society? There is a good reason for this. Women were never, EVER oppressed any more than the majority of men and actually most men had it worse than most women.

Giving women the same priveleges as men, while keeping their traditional priveleges and still not being held accountable means that men in general are treated like sh1t relative to women.

Feminism is based on a false narrative and women were happier in general before it.

I totally agree with your second last paragraph. It's a double standard.

I think feminism did improve things for women who back in the day had zero rights but it has now morphed into something different and it's scary to me even.

It's like the train just keeps going after everyone got off. This is what doesn't seem to be able to get stuffed back into the box. A lot of women find modern feminism crazy.

Gotta live in spite of this and do your own thing right?