Just getting over oneitis from some woman, I came off too needy, probably drove her away so I went out on a 1st date with a new woman in her 30's last weekend. We really hit it off. I was following the advice of some members on here to not text her to check to see if she got home okay from the date. Anyway, I waited three days to contact her to say hello and to set up another date, she responded with " why didn't you contact me to make sure I got home ok? This was the first time anyone has ever not contacted me." After receiving this message from her, I told her my phone died and couldnt find the charger. She said, "bull****, you didnt have time to contact me for three days, I dont play games" At this point, I told her I had a nice time and lets set up a date this Friday. I have yet to hear back from her. **** test or did I mess up? I was thinking of giving her a call or should I forget about it.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Woman asked me how come I never texted her when I got home from our date.
- Thread starter Mazer
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
soulforge
Master Don Juan
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It's a tough one..
But I go with string puller, she is a grown fuking woman, why does she need you to check if she got home okay..
It was the FIRST date, you don't need to be that concerned at that stage..
Why didn't she text to check if you got home ok?
If she is biching about chit like that after one date, can you imagine how she will carry on later down the road?
She prob sniffed the phone story as BS you should have just told her, she is a grown woman.. get a grip!
But I go with string puller, she is a grown fuking woman, why does she need you to check if she got home okay..
It was the FIRST date, you don't need to be that concerned at that stage..
Why didn't she text to check if you got home ok?
If she is biching about chit like that after one date, can you imagine how she will carry on later down the road?
She prob sniffed the phone story as BS you should have just told her, she is a grown woman.. get a grip!
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
Classic controlling behaviour. She got mad at you after you only had one date ?
After she said "bullsshiit you couldn't contact me for 3 days" she was telling you i am the type that is going to smother you with rules and demands, and make your life hell
next her immediately
All you needed to say was " i was busy. " you want a girl who is flexible and caring and giving. Not a female hitler that is going to treat you like ****.
Next time:
"How come you didn't blah blah blah.."
You " i have a busy schedule. I am making time to fit you into it."
If she relplies " bullsh£t, anger etc," you NEXT her immediately if she like that after only one date......imagine a relationship with her
It actually didnt backfire at all. It helped him filter or screen out a bad quality woman well before he wasted time and money on her.
Glassguy
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This is my rule:
If I have a good time with the chick and want to do it again, especially if there were drinks involved, I ask them to text me and let me know they made it home ok.
Her: Thanks for a great evening. I just made it home.
Me: Great. Thanks for letting me know
At that point I do not text the following day unless she initiates it. 2-3 days later I will hit her up if I want to do it again.
Never had an issue with this.
If I am not feeling the chick on the date, I drink one or two and then tell her I have to go. Normally if the attraction isnt good right off the bat, I tell her right up front that I cant stay out late but I have time for a drink or two. So the "text and let me know that you made it home" doesnt apply.
If I have a good time with the chick and want to do it again, especially if there were drinks involved, I ask them to text me and let me know they made it home ok.
Her: Thanks for a great evening. I just made it home.
Me: Great. Thanks for letting me know
At that point I do not text the following day unless she initiates it. 2-3 days later I will hit her up if I want to do it again.
Never had an issue with this.
If I am not feeling the chick on the date, I drink one or two and then tell her I have to go. Normally if the attraction isnt good right off the bat, I tell her right up front that I cant stay out late but I have time for a drink or two. So the "text and let me know that you made it home" doesnt apply.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
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As typical with women, the initial problem they complain about is usually not the one they are most offended by. What really pissed her off is you didn't contact her for 3days. You didn't pedestalize her entitled azz.
Notice she wasn't worried about YOU making it home safely! lmao.
Keep seeing this girl and you will see she is rarely happy and it will always be something you aren't doing for her.
Dumbest advice given. You should text her to see if she got home ok to be off the hook in case something happens to her after your date.
Imagine if she didn't show up to work the next day. Because she is a woman in her 30s, Police would throw you in jail and then investigate if you didn't have proof she got home ok.
Always protect yourself men.
Oh man bro. When a woman asks a question like that, she doesn't want an answer. She wants valiadation, assurance. You say anything to a question like that, you can't win.
How did you even get this girl to go out with you?
Translation:
"I'm 30 and have to get married and pregnant quickly because I'm falling behind my friends and society. You have to show your love for me quickly because I can't waste time in my 30s. I know my value was much higher in my 20s, but still, society, tv, media, magazines, friends, family and North American culture has told me that guys should be bending over backwards to be my husband. And since you are not doing that, get lost."
Brutal.
SuckItUp
Senior Don Juan
1. If a girl starts asking why you didn't call throwing nasty accusations because you didn't call, next her.
2. When the girl asked you why you didn't call, don't make up bs and lie as it shows weakness. You could have thrown the question back to her and asked why she didn't call or even said that you were busy.
2. When the girl asked you why you didn't call, don't make up bs and lie as it shows weakness. You could have thrown the question back to her and asked why she didn't call or even said that you were busy.
First of all, you didn't take my advice. You waited 3 days, saw that she wasn't a kind person, and then texted her anyway.
And what did she do? She reminded you she's not a kind a person. And what she said about no man ever doing that is BS. Since 2010 the standard is, the girl texts a thank-you after the date. If it were true, and she liked you, she would like you more. I hate when women try to reverse engineer a breakup like that - saying "I WAS going to give you a prize, but now it's too late". BS.
I personally have probably been on 40 dates with women averaging HB8.5 and this rule never failed me - she should text first. I've NEVER texted first and had it work out - not since the 2000's.
Love doesn't die of starvation, but often of indigestion.
Dump her.
You're correct that this is the dumbest advice given - your advice, that is. Guys, NEVER text first after a date. You paid, she says thank-you after, or she didn't like you that much. Period. Guys who text first are nice guys and are interrupting her texting the guy she actually is attracted to. My last girlfriend texted after every single date - every time - even if I had to wait 13 days (which happened exactly once). I just had a 20 year old text me 10 straight days, I know what I'm talking about. If a girl really likes you she will text you from her car before she turns the key, never mind never.
That said, older women MIGHT be an exception, but I mean girls born before 1975, this girl is only 30 should be jettisoned.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
They never do.....
soulforge
Master Don Juan
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Niel is dead on... In most cases I have always had the female text me first, just to say thank you, I had a nice time..
The only time I ask a chick to text me, to let me know she got home fine, is when I am actually seeing her.. or in a relationship with her..
I Reckon Op dodged a bullet here.. Imagine how many other situations this chick could kick off about, if she was disatisfied.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
She doesn't like games... but she is playing the 'text me when I get home sh!t test game'.
Next.
However, you should not have lied, that was a weak @ss response about your phone and she knew it. If this happens again with another chick just tell her the truth.
Text this: "Awe... I though you were a big girl and didn't need me checking up on you like you might run away.... I like you, you need a leash."
If she isn't going to play along, she has a bad attitude and being a DJ works in your favor. It's not about getting laid... it's about having fun with women... if she doesn't know how to play... then it's work... work isn't fun.
Update:
She texted me today saying she will consider hanging out on Friday now but she will let me know when the day gets closer. Women! haha I have to tread lightly with this one because she is in law enforcement and I dont want to get shot.
She texted me today saying she will consider hanging out on Friday now but she will let me know when the day gets closer. Women! haha I have to tread lightly with this one because she is in law enforcement and I dont want to get shot.
NO! WTF??
She will consider?? This sounds like you texted her first. There is no way she initiated this.
This girl wants to put a dog collar on you, and then handcuffs, and then a butt plug.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That's all it takes. Even 3 kiss emojis will do. Some sign of gratification before you ask her out again.
told her that my phone was dead and couldnt find the charger but I had a nice time and we should hang out on Friday and left it at that. She responded a day later with "I will consider it" which means were hanging out, she is just playing hard to get. anyway I just want sex from this girl.[
Yes, a sign from you doesn't mean as much.
Sho-No-Luv
Senior Don Juan
Well.. DAMN!
SuckItUp
Senior Don Juan
Please understand that this is a no response. When a woman says I'll think about it ... it means no.
She's saying this because you didn't make up and make firm plans and you scheduled Friday.
Unless you've sexed a woman and been out with her at least 3 times do not schedule a Friday/Saturday date.
Right now go silent and wait for her to contact you and then set a definite plan. " Hi babe, glad to hear from you. When are you free/available?
Her: I'm free Wednesday or Thursday.
You: Let's meet/I'll pick you up at 7pm on Wed/Thurs and we'll go to XYZ bar, wine bar, mini golf, my house/ your house, club, fun activity place.
Her: Okay! 7pm at (whatever you indicated) on Wed/Thurs
You: Solid/Cool/etc and make sure to wear that sexy black/dress/skirt or I want you to look sexy for me etc. (This part is about telling her to look good for you, a quasi compliance test/ interest test)
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.