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Woman are fvcked up these days

J

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When i was out with my friends in a big town, I saw a HB 8.0. 27 yrs old. Im 30 yrs.

I talked to her and after a few minutes i closed for the number. I told her i liked the convo but i was with my friends so i would call her later. (My friends are more important.)

Few days later i called her and planned a date. Meantime i was spinning 2 other plates. I set up some good dates. Some were action some just diner. I noticed she had a very busy schedule, but always made time for us.

I banged her everytime except the first. She was pretty good :) I was certainly NOT needy.
I told her in the beginning i was not into a relationship atm. She was ok. She was ALL over me. She never met anyone like me. blabla. She cooked me nice dinners. I rewarded her and we had a great time. Everytime.

Then all of a sudden she told me she went out with her ex (rich kid, fvcker). He needed her and did everything for her. They had a realtionship for 8 yrs... 1,5 year ago. He said he changed and she was everything for him. I thought he was being an AFC.:nono: I said i didnt wanted to date her as long as she dated the prick.

After 10 dates (2,5 months since the first one) she said "i think i love you. But im very afraid to admit it". I said to her stay with me and find out. I like you very much. You're very pretty woman. The day after she went on a short holiday with some female friends. She was crying because she couldnt see me for 10 days..

After the 10 days she called me and said:" I'm not in love with you anymore, i think. I didnt miss you everyday on holiday. :confused: :confused: When im on holiday i never miss my GF's everyday....
I told her that it was her bad.

She thought that maybe it was the worst decision of her life :confused: But she didnt want to date anymore. I talked for about 1 minute and ended the convo.

OK. I lost a plate (main one). I liked her very much and she was a possible LTR-woman.
Im almost certain she went back to her ex.

I thought everything went exp well. Maybe she was a psycho. She told me every! date she was having the time of her life. But more important i saw that too.



Ok guys give me some feedback to make sure it wont happen again. Im pretty :confused: here.

TIA
 

Desdinova

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No matter how well you do with a woman, they may drop you if you don't eventually provide them with security (aka a LTR).

She was dropping hints that she wanted to be exclusive, but you made no move to show her that you were interested in a LTR. Some women 25+ begin to look for a permanent male fixture in their lives because they begin to hear their biological clocks ticking. It gets worse when women are age 30 and older.

It's that, or something happened while she was on holidays.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Ahhh,..I swear practically every problem I read on this forum can be solved wih basic math skills. Ptolemy was right, the world is basically a big numbers game. So, class, its time again for some DJ math:

J said:
When i was out with my friends in a big town, I saw a HB 8.0. 27 yrs old. Im 30 yrs.

Then all of a sudden she told me she went out with her ex (rich kid, fvcker). He needed her and did everything for her. They had a realtionship for 8 yrs... 1,5 year ago.
Word problem: The above HB8 is 27. She and her ex boyfriend engaged in an 8 year relationship 1.5 years ago, how old was HB8 when she entered into the relationship with the (rich kid fvcker) ex-boyfriend?

27 - 8 - 1.5 = 17.5

Ergo, your confusing little HB8 is still using social and relational skills she developed in high school at 27.
 

Burningblue

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J said:
After the 10 days she called me and said:" I'm not in love with you anymore, i think. I didnt miss you everyday on holiday.
I see that women in Spain are no different than in the good ole US. In my opinion, this boils down to UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. It seems to be a disease that has infected women everywhere. I think we can all agree that the endless parade of chick flicks, romance novels, sappy lovesongs, and childhood fairytales that pervade our society are at least partially to blame for an unrealistic view of love. Everyone is just looking for some magical feeling it seems. I have to believe a great LTR is based on a lot of practical things and not just infatuation...which is what these women are seeking. Infatuation always fades with time.
I once had a woman do almost the exact same thing to me. Things were going great, then one day she had the day off and I did too. She made plans to come over in the afternoon. When she got over to my house she was acting very strange. When I asked her what was wrong she said the following: "I just don't understand why I waited until now to come over. Shouldn't I have been all excited and come over at like 7am if this were the real thing? I look at how rediculously my friends in relationships are and I wonder why it isn't like that." She also said that she had never been in love (and she was in her late 20's). That was just one more piece of evidence that she may not know what love is.
It seems logical to me that women who buy into the extreme soulmate mythology will end up in one of 3 situations 1. Old and extremely lonely 2. Settling when their bio clock has just about died 3. A tiny minority will get lucky and never change their paradigm.
It's frustrating but I think its usually best to find a woman with a little more realistic view of the world. It's almost impossible to change a woman's core beliefs when it comes to love, and it usually makes them angry if you try. They have to discover the truth for themselves.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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frivolousz21 said:
your 30 yrs old.

most single woman around your age have issues or they wouldnt be single.
Oh don't run that line about women his age. The problem is that women seldom know what they want and definitely at such a young age.

What J posted is pretty much common place for most women who get into LTRs at a young age. They're in love with "what could be." It doesn't pan out but she still hopes that it will. The chump she breaks up with is horny and decides to see if he can still get some trim from the ex. He tells her what she wants to hear and it's like they had never broke up.

That's the fickle nature of women (especially young ones). It's all rooted in that they have no idea what they truly want.
 

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RedPill

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I've got a new red flag these days. When a woman I meet has a dating history that consists mostly of one long LTR that started in high school and went on for several years, that's a big red flag. It's the same damn story every time. They dated since high school. They dated through "the college years." Marriage was assumed. Then reality hits one or both of them when they have to enter the grown-up world and they break up.

The chick has to "find herself" now. She's flakey as hell, and as Rollo points out, has the social development level of someone still in high school. She's got a ton of emotional baggage from failed expectations of getting married, a fantasy she had spent years building. She distrusts men. She thinks it's strange that you haven't been in some LTR that lasted years. There are a lot of chicks out there like this in their early and mid-twenties, and they are annoying to date.
 

Natch

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frivolousz21 said:
your 30 yrs old.

most single woman around your age have issues or they wouldnt be single.
Okay so. Go sit on the naughty chair Friv.
Firstly you don't need to quote the guys whole post , we can read it.
Secondly , if you sit down and make an effort do you think you can imagine something less interesting , useful or constructive to say. No? Neither can I.
If you can't be helpful , informative or funny...
 

Vulpine

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J said:
The day after she went on a short holiday with some female friends.

After the 10 days she called me and said:" I'm not in love with you anymore, i think. I didnt miss you everyday on holiday. :confused: :confused: When im on holiday i never miss my GF's everyday....
I told her that it was her bad.

She thought that maybe it was the worst decision of her life :confused: But she didnt want to date anymore. I talked for about 1 minute and ended the convo.
I think everyone here is missing something. The women's collective logic. These women got together and yammered and jaw-jacked until the wee hours about men. When it was J's girl's turn to "come on, tell us about him", all the girls got jealous. Are you guys following me here?

So the other women all put their collective logic together, decided that J was no good (one single, all single is how women see it), and decided to come up with some goofy scheme to "prove" if J was "worthy" of this woman. "Here sista-gurlfrien... here's whatcha gotta do..." (As if the bitter single girlfriends have a clue.) "See how he acts when you try breaking up with him." It is the revisitation of the b!tch shields. It's like a b!tch shield echo. Her girlfriends insisted that J is some sort of playa, monster, abuser, whatever, based on some little tiny morsel they gleaned out of her stories. I've sat and watched it happen before, the flock turns the woman against her man. It's either because they are jealous, want the man for themselves, or just "want their friend back."

So the woman comes back, runs the crazy, no-way-to-win, sh!t test, and fux up the relationship - much to the chagrin of the coven of other women. Yay! Now all the girlfriends aren't getting laid again! Isn't this fun! Now we can have men-bashing pajama parties like we used to as a whole group again! WeeeeeEEEE!!!!

I must say, I've been in the EXACT situation and recovered to have LTR's. If I look back and think how, this is what I said (more or less):

"I don't think we should date anymore, this might be the worst decision of my life."
*Loud, irritated voice*
"Whoa, whoa, WHOA! I don't know WTF happenend while you were away. I'm thinking that you either boned some other dude, or, your girlfriends pumped all sorts of garbage in your head about something they know NOTHING about." *Pause, watch crying*
"Now, in the case of you boning someone else, you're right: Goodbye. But, if your girlfriends tried to pack your head with cr4p... do they know us? Do they know me? Do they know how we are when we're together?"
*Pause for reply*
"Do they?"
*Pause for reply*
"Sob, sniffle, No. sniffle."
*relaxes voice to normal, yet stern*
"No, they don't. You better get used to dealing with your friends' jealousy 'cuz I'm not dealing with this EVERY time you get back from vacations or girls' night out."*turn and walk to fridge*
"Sob, sniffle, I'm sorry."
"You want something to drink?"
"No."
"Well then, dry your eyes, blow your nose, go tinkle, and let's go have that I missed you slash make up sex you've been waiting for."
*take her by the hand, lead her to the bathroom*
*Hot sexing ensues*

As you can see, I blew her "sh!t test, breakup" frame to little bits and shifted it to my control. This identical scenario has happened to me at least twice.

Now, sure, you can call the "chasing" AFC to an extent. You can also try to factor in ex bf's. But, some plates are worth keeping spinning. And, even if the breakup still goes on, at least you got booty.

(the above convo is easily converted to the phone: "Well, jump your azz in the shower, get in the car, and come over here for that...")
 

Bible_Belt

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My ex-wife used to pull the "I'm leaving you" bit all the time. I also remember my mom using it on my dad when they were fighting decades ago. After all of these years, I have finally learned that if a woman threatens to leave, any show of concern is a mistake. The correct answer is always something like, "There's the door."
 

Vulpine

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BibleBelt, I've done that too. But, in those situations I've been the one to ensure the woman actually went out of it. "That's a good idea, there's the door, grab your things." That scenario is later in the relationship when you are tired of the BS and it's the second "I'm leaving you" bit.

J's situation is after 10 dates, not several years marriage and a kid. It was the first formal "I'm leaving you."
 

driver55

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Nice

Vulpine said:
...
So the woman comes back, runs the crazy, no-way-to-win, sh!t test, and fux up the relationship - much to the chagrin of the coven of other women. Yay! Now all the girlfriends aren't getting laid again! Isn't this fun! Now we can have men-bashing pajama parties like we used to as a whole group again! WeeeeeEEEE!!!!
...
:crackup:

Good Post, I liked the dialogue that went with it.
 

J

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Looking back there was a major RED FLAG:

The last date she told me:" In my past relationships (she also had a "relationship" of 7 months) my BF's never been NICE to me or RESPECTED me......" I was shocked.:eek:

Not that I'm Mister Nice Guy, but I never threat a woman like dirt. Unless, of course, she deserves it.

At that point my IL in her also dropped hard. Dont need to explain why I guess.


I liked your responses. I think Rollo has a point: she needs to develop social and relational skills.

I also agree that there's a good chance that her GF's yammered and jaw-jacked until the wee hours about men and me. But my gut feeling is telling me she back with her ex.

That's very sad.... not for me, but for her.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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She's a serial monogamist, simple as that. All of her dating/relational skills are based on one, maybe 2 guys, and one of those for 8 years whom she met in her adolescence. This has retarded her maturation and when she is backed into a corner and forced into an uncomfortable attraction with a guy who (presumedly) has had the benefit of developing a more adult relational skill set she returns to the comfort of what she knows is a 'sure thing'.

NEXT.
 

Captain AFC

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So wait. Don't date a girl until she's dated several men? A woman can't have any realistic relational skills until she's destroyed the psyche's of ten other guys first? :)

Just an honest inquiry here. And on the other hand, I guess I would be one of those "been in one LTR with one person out of high school." Does that mean that I am also risky material to date because I'll potentially blow up or start calling people on the phone talking about what I need?

I'm confused. Honest question here... not a jab.
 

RedPill

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Captain AFC said:
So wait. Don't date a girl until she's dated several men? A woman can't have any realistic relational skills until she's destroyed the psyche's of ten other guys first? :)

Just an honest inquiry here. And on the other hand, I guess I would be one of those "been in one LTR with one person out of high school." Does that mean that I am also risky material to date because I'll potentially blow up or start calling people on the phone talking about what I need?

I'm confused. Honest question here... not a jab.
People with adult social skills...

- understand that you don't need to see/talk to each other 5 nights a week
- know that good sex is very important in a relationship
- don't get their heart broken every time a plate drops
- do not assume monogamy right from the start
- manage their relationships instead of playing games (great example - Victory Unlimited's most excellent SY/RY Stealth Manuever)
- realize that you've both dated and had sex with other people :eek:

People with adolescent social skills...

- are serial monogamists (this topic deserves its own thread, if there isn't one already)
- play childish games
- don't know when to relax and shut the fvck up
- get oneitis easily
- try to change/fix/save the other person

I'm sure there's plenty more that could be added to both these lists.
 

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Hitman10000

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Desdinova said:
No matter how well you do with a woman, they may drop you if you don't eventually provide them with security (aka a LTR).

She was dropping hints that she wanted to be exclusive, but you made no move to show her that you were interested in a LTR. Some women 25+ begin to look for a permanent male fixture in their lives because they begin to hear their biological clocks ticking. It gets worse when women are age 30 and older.

It's that, or something happened while she was on holidays.
That is very true.

No offense to the men that are in their 30s, but something is up with you guys when you think you can play around like you were in your 20s. A guy in his late 20s can play around with a girl who is 20-25. But after 25, a girl seriously would like to hook up for marriage or at least a serious LTR that leads into marriage, a normal girl wants to get married by the age of 30 and we all know what happens to women after 27-28, they start becoming crazy especially if they've never experienced marriage.

So you got here a 30 yo guy, look if he wants to play the field, then go do it to some women in their early 20s, the impact for them is less but just so you know most women under 25 are willing to marry before they hit 25. there is nothing wrong with a 27 yo being disappointed and then playing all these games to throw you off. Don't blame her, blame yourself. And to be fair for the women who have an expiration date of 30, men have their own expiration date at 40 unless they're rich/famous.
 

J

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@ Hitman10000 & Desdinova

You're very right. Except for the fact that i gave her very strong buying signals after a few dates. She knew that a LTR was a good option in the future.

In my previous posts, that wasnt clear.
 

Latinoman

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Hitman10000 said:
That is very true.

No offense to the men that are in their 30s, but something is up with you guys when you think you can play around like you were in your 20s. A guy in his late 20s can play around with a girl who is 20-25. But after 25, a girl seriously would like to hook up for marriage or at least a serious LTR that leads into marriage, a normal girl wants to get married by the age of 30 and we all know what happens to women after 27-28, they start becoming crazy especially if they've never experienced marriage.

So you got here a 30 yo guy, look if he wants to play the field, then go do it to some women in their early 20s, the impact for them is less but just so you know most women under 25 are willing to marry before they hit 25. there is nothing wrong with a 27 yo being disappointed and then playing all these games to throw you off. Don't blame her, blame yourself. And to be fair for the women who have an expiration date of 30, men have their own expiration date at 40 unless they're rich/famous.
I would say 45 is the expiration date IF it comes to having children, etc. - due to the fact that is important to have a "strong" man with high school kids. 45 + 18 = 63. That's "retirement" age, IMO. But a strong argument could be made for men in their mid 50s.
 

realsmoothie

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All of this is changing. We are living longer, more fulfilled lives, and the "rules" about you MUST get married and have kids are being relaxed.

I am 31. I feel very little pressure to get married. Everyone I know that got married before the age of 30 is unhappy.

I am in no rush. My dad had me when he was 42. My sister had her kid when she was 39.
 
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