woman approached me

[princeofpersia420]

hey guys, first time poster here, been lurking for awhile. 21 year old college guy here, in America. (east coast, big city). i guess i would classify myself as a "self-imposed AFC" or something right now, because although im tall, in good shape, funny, etc., i do have approach anxiety. when i talk with people i know, im a hit, the life of the party, etc. girls that i come into contact with in my social circles love me, because i feel comfortable talking how i usually do.
however, it just kinda feels weird for me to go approach women i dont know on the street, subway, or whatever, even though i get what you call IOI's all the mother-effing time, im so f'ing chicken****, i have let soo many opportunities with hot women slip away...i guess because i feel like im "bothering" the chicks or whatever...i have no idea.


ANYWAYS. the reason im posting is, yesterday morning as im on the subway going to work, have my Ipod in listening to some tunes, zoning out, etc. i open my eyes and notice there is a HOT little minx standing right in front of me with her back to me, and her butt is about 4 inches from my crotch. im literally breathing down her neck. now normally, i would assume she's standing this close to me because theres no room on the train, etc., but then i look around, and well, theres a hell of a lot of room on the train!
i take her appearance in, and i guess she's a young lady in her 20's who takes DAMN good care of herself..and notice she has a very nice tattoo on her arm...just when im thinking to myself what i'd like to do to her, she turns around and compliments me on something, so we make some small talk, turns out she's probably in her 30's, but FINE AS HELL nonetheless, a cute little face and nice dirty blonde hair to go with her ridiculous bod, and she is INTO ME. like, her eyes were shinin' like some 4-carat diamonds just blindin a n***a, ya diG???

anyways, just as im wishing i could get her phone number, she gives me hers. (business card). now, theres no way i am ****ing this up, i am calling her today (this happened yesterday).....and obviously, a huge confidence boost, i walked around all day like i owned the world's biggest wang....haha

is there anything i should be aware of? because honestly, im extremely attracted to this woman, but i guess it just never occurred to me that WOMEN could approach MEN. but then, it is 2009....

my don juans, what do you have to say on this, advice, etc...and what do you think about women approaching men? because i am LOVING IT!!

 

[Ease]

i am calling her today (this happened yesterday).....

wow wow hold on, whats the rush???

wait a few days to call her.

And remember a short and informal meeting for the first date.

Yes i certainly wouldnt mind if this happened to me, but if shes comfortable just handing out her number after meeting u on a train then remember shes got a lot of other guys on the go aswell.

 

[horaholic]

Fvck that 'wait a few days' crap. That is blown out of proportion.Save that for after you've had a couple dates. You have generated an initial attraction, and thats it. Dont start with the takaways, and making her miss you until you have a firm foothold established in her life. THATS when you want to make yourself less available, etc. NOT at the very beginning.

What you want to avoid here, is neediness. That means call her ONCE, leave a freindly message (hopefully with something funny in it) and tell her to call you back. Many women will not call you back, and it has nothing to do with interest level. wait a few days, and try again. and do it again if you need to. If she still doesnt respond, stop calling, but keep her number, and call her in a month or two, and casually act like you found her card laying around, and figured you'd call, just for shyts and giggles. With hot chicks, a lot of the time, you just have to get lucky with the timing of your call. You might shoot her a random call in two months, and she might be bored, lonely, and horny.

Here, read this, it explains this better than me. This is GOLD. It explains the philosophy of girls flaking.

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/60168

Oh, and here's a good article on texting
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/84921

 

[Ease]

I read the articles and i have to say i didnt really like them

Personally, I much prefer to be in control. The whole article on the 'girls flaking' seems to put the girl on a pedestal with the guy trying very hard to just get his date and not say the wrong thing. But im the prize.

When a girl gives you the number, shes obviously expecting you to call isnt she? As soon as possible. If you dont call her immediatly then she's not going to forget that she gave you her numer, shes not an idiot. She'll be wondering why you havent called. I guess its up to personal preference.

And im not with the leaving message idea. Once you call and leave a message you've completely left everything up to her. Now all you can do is wait and wonder. Youv played your cards and theres no mystery or excitement left. Shes in control now

I call with a specific date planned in mind and i see if she is free, and so she either accepts or accepts.

And if you do leave a message, then phoning again 2 days later? Does your life revolve around this girl that you have to chase her after just meeting her? Is this not in itself neediness? I'd wait longer before i call again. She can phone you back as soon as she wants cant she?

Please poke holes and give insight into my thinking, thanks. Im currently in the early stages of dating a new girl myself.

 

[horaholic]

I read the articles and i have to say i didnt really like them

Personally, I much prefer to be in control. The whole article on the 'girls flaking' seems to put the girl on a pedestal with the guy trying very hard to just get his date and not say the wrong thing. But im the prize.

Tyler Durden does NOT put girls on pedestals! He calls them when he feels like it, and doesnt get pissed of they dont call. Once in a while he will go through his phone and call every girl in there. Sometimes one will call back, and he gets laid. He's not chasing them at all. He's playing numbers. Sometimes a girl wont be in the mood to talk to a stranger, and sometimes she will, so it doesnt hurt to try back at a later time, unless of course she tells you not to.


When a girl gives you the number, shes obviously expecting you to call isnt she? Uh...NO. Girls give their numbers out all the time. It means absolutely nothing to them. As soon as possible. If you dont call her immediatly then she's not going to forget that she gave you her numer, shes not an idiot. Yes... she will.hot girls have MANY options. If you dont call her, she can wait five minutes for some other guy to call. Think about it. She just met you, and knows nothing about you except for an initial attraction, which fades away as soon as you leave.If every time you went out, twenty chicks asked for your number, would you give a flying fvck about one that doesnt call? Me neither, there's 19 more of them. You're not special to her. Just because she thought you were cute, or interesting, means jack **** the next day.She'll be wondering why you havent called. No, she probably wont. I guess its up to personal preference.

And im not with the leaving message idea. Once you call and leave a message you've completely left everything up to her. Now all you can do is wait and wonder. Noone said anything about waiting for her call. You should have several numbers, so you wont be waiting for anyone. All you are doing is giving her a chance to give you a chance. She cant give you a chance if you dont plant yourself in her world. The article states, leave a quick message, say something quirkuy or flirty, and tell her you'll call her later, or she can call you too. You're not laying ANY 'cards' down by doing this, and you certainly arent losing you're mystery or excitement, unless you leave a stupid message.Youv played your cards and theres no mystery or excitement left. Shes in control now

I call with a specific date planned in mind and i see if she is free, and so she either accepts or accepts.

And if you do leave a message, then phoning again 2 days later? Does your life revolve around this girl that you have to chase her after just meeting her? Is this not in itself neediness? Nope. It takes one minute to make a phone call. How is that chasing her, and how is that making your life revolve around her?? seriously! You're taking this shyt a little too literally, bro. If you have to plan when it is or isnt appropriate to call a chick, you are already centering yourself around her. A real man will call her whenever the fvck he wants, and men usually want to get that pvssy as soon as possible, so call sooner. Its as simple as that. All you need to do, is take the hint if she isnt interested, be entertaining and fun, and dont put her on a pedestal. I'd wait longer before i call again. Because hot chicks cant just find another cute guy to bang them silly, if you dont call her.She can phone you back as soon as she wants cant she?

Please poke holes and give insight into my thinking, thanks. Im currently in the early stages of dating a new girl myself.

When you first meet a chick, you mean NOTHING to her, and why should you? Dont assume that because you sparked an interest at the bar or whatever, that she thinks you're special or something. That just means she might go out with you IF you call her when she is bored, and wanting something to do. Let me repeat this: GIVE HER A CHANCE TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE. Dont next her too quick. understand that you havent dug a hole in her reality yet, so she owes you nothing, and you are LAST on her priority list, until you get to know each other, and she has something invested in you. This is totally different than chasing her, and putting her on a pedestal. That article says straight from the woman's mougth why it is she flaked on a cute guy she met, and it makes perfect sense. If you had the kind of options a hot chick has, you'd flake on them too.

 

[Allurre]

Truth is, WOMEN do APPROACH men.

The ratio of occurrence is where the contrast stands.

Don't be too proud yet, you only just got her contact information.

Keeping her is another game.

But good job though, have fun while you're at it.