"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Witty banter, talking ****.

HalfAddict

Master Don Juan
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This forum has not been too fun lately fellas, all too serious imo.

I wanna hear some of the funniest/smoothest/awesome things you have said to a chick and the effect it had on her. I know some of you dudes have something. Either way last night I was hanging out with these 2 chicks, they both dig me and I know it.

One is very shy and the other quite aggressive. After a couple drinks I finally get the shy chick to crack and talk some **** to her about how I'm gonna beat her up blah blah she can take me and she says c-mon you wanna **** around and I just look her dead in the eye and say yes. She was so flustered she said you wanna **** around again so I just say yes again. Her reaction was awesome of course and I could literally feel the tension, good times.

By the way the week prior this girls was ****ty drunk and asking me to hit her in the face, I think there may be a freak in there and I intend to find it.

But I like talking ****, to pretty much everyone and I wanna hear some of your best **** talking. And you know what if this post can't get more replies than that broad pitching a ***** I feel I may lose all hope in humanity.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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FairShake

Master Don Juan
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I work as a nurse and we need to use new scrubs every day due to sterility. Due to Hurricane Sandy and the power outages and floods she caused in Jersey our delivery is now a week late. I'm the biggest dude in the place by far so I have to take another guy's scrubs (he's a douche by the way) which are much smaller. The scrubs have a seam that, when pulled up above my waste, push against the middle of my ball sack and give me camel toe (camel balls?).

So yesterday I was running around and flashing all the girls my camel balls. The discussion became how my balls were proportional to my body...meaning big. I've banged one girl there and she told me she had 3 of them come up to her asking if it was true. It's not but she is a good sh!t and lied for me.
 

jonhaul

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FairShake said:
The scrubs have a seam that, when pulled up above my waste, push against the middle of my ball sack and give me camel toe (camel balls?).
Moose knuckle lol
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
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wife loves sardines and mustard

backbreaker hates sardines


(backbreaker watching Boardwalk Empire last Sunday, wife comes and sits down with sardines and mustard)

wife: here you want some?
backbreaker: if i wanted to smell raw fish i'd just eat you out
wife: well since you've don't seem to remember how to get down there i wanted to give you a reminder on what to expect

I lol'ed
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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