"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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'Withdrawing' from relationship, but completely?

JCKey618

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Ok, I'm finally taking you alls advice and withdrawing from my relationship with my ex (we took a break because she's supposedly not ready for a committed relationship and has problems in school).

Anyway, we usually call eachother everyday and I haven't called her since last week. The last time we talked was Monday and she came up and seemed all happy to see me and I was short with her and we haven't talked since (I wasn't mean, just seemed like I didn't feel like talking).

So, is this the way I'm supposed to be going about this? Should I atleast talk to her some or is withdrawing myself completely the right way??
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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JCKey618

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Ok, and today her friend told me that she thinks I'm mad at her. So, what do I do next?

And if she comes up to me and asks what's the deal, what do I say?

And if she tries to play my game and see who can not talk to the other the longest, what do I do then?

Keep in mind, my goal is to eventually get back together with her, but only if she's willing to try to better herself. If not, I'm just going to move on.
 

CLOONEY

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Sorry to tell you mate, but you have just about NO chance. Once a girl gets to this point of "not wanting comittment", u r pretty much done. U can try give her an ultimatum, which will blow up in your face. U can try to play games, although ultimately she will win because she cares less!!

Sorry to tell u, but your ONLY CHANCE, is to detatch yourself. See the relationship as a totally lost cause, and move on with your life. This is your only chance in my opinion.

Just think, why would u want to be with a girl who doesnt totally love u? U deserve much better than that!!

Good luck, keep us updated.
 

JCKey618

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The thing was, she would still tell me she loved me all the time and we would kiss every now and then and it was like we were still together. So, I'm thinking, why not have it be official? I figure she wants to have the nice parts of a relationship without the commitment and I don't want to be the guy for that.

She called me last night, but she only let it ring twice and then hung up so I didn't get a chance to answer. Atleast I know I'm on her mind ;)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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CLOONEY

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U are only there so she feels secure that u like her. She probably does like u, doesnt want to loose you, but when another guy comes along, u will be off the scene. Save yourself while you can.

If u want me to put it more simple:

The more you push it, the more u will loose her.

Only leaves one option, withdraw.
 

Ebach

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Assert yourself. Tell her what's up. Tell her this is not working for you and it's over. Basically, dump her and get on with your life. Stop dropping saliva everywhere you go because it's nasty. The girl doesn't want you and can toy around with you whenever she feels like it. She's keeping you close to her until she finds someone so you're basically her little puppy. Get a life!
 
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