"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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With her at my place - got messy

Trance

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So i met a chick like 3 months ago that was dating a friend of mine. After a couple days he dumps her and returns to his 2y ex, and she starts dating other of my friends, and after 2 days he dumps her and starts with his current girlfriend.

Like a month ago, she started hanging out at the same place me and these my friends 2 usually go to saturday nights, so i started getting to know her.

When i first saw her with my friend #1, my first impression was i good, i felt atraction. This last saturday i was talking to this girl, we dont really know eachother, but there was beginning to be a climate between us 2. Latter on, we were in a group of friends, she was there too with her girl best friend, and i had told her i live really next to her (like 1 block lol), so she was kinda sugesting if we'd went together.
I didnt give the edge of going alone with her, so she went in a ride with her friend. When i got to my place she was on my place, we talked a bit and both confessed there was something coming up between us, but maybe wasnt suposed to happen that night she said.


Next day i sugest she comes to my place the following day, which she did. We were here hanging out, listening some songs and knowing eachother better, and i was feeling very actracted, so i went for a kiss, but she was feeling embarassed by it happening so fast, and didnt went along. No problem at all, we continued talking and flirting.

Latter the day, i was at coffe where a big group of friends hang out, and there were already rumours all around cause one of my 2 friends knew i had been with her, and told other, that told other, that told other. Since for my 2 friends cause she dated both, she is in the slutty category, they assumed we had been f.ucking. She also told a friend of her's she was coming and that she was anxious to be with me.
Well, this got to her ears, that there was a rumour we had been f.ucking that afternoon, and she wanted to talk to me. Before that i went to talk to my friend and told him to keep his mouth shut. Then talked to her and managed to settle things up, and we're fine.


Now here is the situation, 2 of my best friends that dont talk to this girl and think she's slutty; a girl that's atracted and into me, and that i like a lot, but the rumours of us starting to hang out make her unconfortable.
I think she now wants to take things slower so she doesnt get hurt again.


So how would you guys deal with this situation of an atraction between me and her, with all this mess around? I'm keeping it as cool as i can, and i'm gona keep into her, but i'd like to hear some feedback.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Luveno

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Maybe you should start listening to rock and roll:p
 

thefonz

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no offense is intended to you trance because your seniority and knowledge in this forum on the issues is likely to be superior than mine.....but i don't wanna read all this gossipy she said, then we, then i said, after that........why don't i just go talk to my 14 year old cousin
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Cutiepiie

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Originally posted by Luveno
Maybe you should start listening to rock and roll:p
LMAO!

good tip =0)
 

Hot Ice

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I was in a situation similar to this one.

I just kept it cool and made fun of people gossiping. How fast it moves ear to ear etc.
Just turned it into a fun thing.
 

Trance

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That's what i do, i dont care about it. But the girl cares, but i think she cares more about me, so it will be cool. Other detail in this story is that i'm the older, i'm 23, and the guys/girl are all 18.
 

NewMan

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You tell her that talk is cheap. That people will talk no matter what. that they can have their own opinions and that there's nothing that you can do about it.

At the same time you don't want to be running around behind peoples back's - or worried about what you can and cannot do because she is afraid of what people will think.

That's not what you want.

So, when she ready to put the 17 yr old mentality behind her - you guys can go out.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Giovanni Casanova

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She needs to stop worrying about what other people think and there's not a damn thing that you can do to force that to happen. Right now, she is concerned about her IMAGE, which is based in large part on factors that neither you nor she control.

She wants some kind of reassurance that you're not just after a conquest or a cheap lay, particularly because she's been passed around from friend to friend. The question then becomes... IS that what you're after? Do you see anything happening with this girl that your friends have already been with?

There are ways to get her to ignore what other people are saying, to basically build a bubble around the two of you. At the moment you have sort of an advantage because if everyone thinks she's sleeping with you already then there's no real social disincentive for her not to.
 

Trance

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Been with her today, all going well, i really enjoy her company. Her best friend is also a great friend of mine, and she told her lots of compliments about me, that im awesome in everyway, that's a big plus.
 

Soma

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Here's what you do.

When you're sitting on the couch yell out, "WHAT THE FVCK IS THAT?!?!" and point to the wall behind her. When she turns her head to face the danger she expects to be in, quickly slip the tip of your tongue in and out of her earhole. Very quick. Like a snake. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssss! Play it cool and you'll go from dippin her earhole to plungin her cornhole.
 

Trance

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Originally posted by Soma
Here's what you do.

When you're sitting on the couch yell out, "WHAT THE FVCK IS THAT?!?!" and point to the wall behind her. When she turns her head to face the danger she expects to be in, quickly slip the tip of your tongue in and out of her earhole. Very quick. Like a snake. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssss! Play it cool and you'll go from dippin her earhole to plungin her cornhole.

ROTFL!!!
 
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