"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Wish your Ex a happy birthday

amoka

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My ex birthday is today and I am thinking of sending her a text message along the line of "29 welcomes you. Happy birthday." but something is telling me to not do it. On my birthday, she took me out for a dinner, though she has a boyfriend. The reason why I am reluctant doing it is because I sent her a Happy New year message about a month ago but the never responded. So, I am thinking... what the heck, forget about her. Any thoughts?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Paradox

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Why bother? What's the point? What do you hope the outcome of this will be?

Again, why bother?
 

Radninja

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Sometimes you do it just for good karma and because life is not a zero-sum game. You do it for yourself, if that is your true you coming through.
 

thedude4242

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the heck with her. you have moved on, even if you have not. that will make her think that you still think about her.
 

Trader

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Why are you even asking this question?

You're better than that - with over 1000 posts, you should not be feeling needy for her, which is what this thread reeks of
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Warrior74

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I wish my ex a happy birthday or whatever holiday if I happen to talk to her around that time. I don't make any special effort but we have kid together and I try to be civil. I place no more importance on it than saying bless you when someone sneezes. It cost me nothing,and I'm not looking to gain anything from it. If we didn't have a child I would never bother to speak to her at all. I don't talk to ex's. If she was on my facebook or something I might type a happy birthday along with everyone else (obviously we are on good terms if she's on my facebook, I don't keep random people on there).

So, why is it such an issue in your mind that you mulled it over enough to even post about it? What is your motivation? What do you think you stand to lose or gain?
 

speed dawg

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Wtf??
 

amoka

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It is great to know more people here think the same way I was thinking. For some reason, I was thinking of wishing her a happy birthday because she called, wished, and took me for dinner on my birthday, but that's just the beta part of me that is trying to gain root.
 

Trader

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amoka said:
It is great to know more people here think the same way I was thinking. For some reason, I was thinking of wishing her a happy birthday because she called, wished, and took me for dinner on my birthday, but that's just the beta part of me that is trying to gain root.
If you want to wish her happy bday go ahead. That's not the problem per se.

The problem is that you care so much as to whether she will respond, or how you will come off to her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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amoka

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On the way home tonight, I ran into her...unbeavilable.
HB: "Hey.."
Amoka: Could not recognige her at first "Is that you, HB?"
HB: " Why are you walking so fast. You walking home tonight?"
Amoka: " Yeah, I gotta run. By the way, happy birthday.".
 

sodbuster

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So would it be wrong to send my ex wife a happy 10th anniversary on the anniversary of our divorce? Kids will be over 18 by then
 

Maxtro

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amoka said:
On the way home tonight, I ran into her...unbeavilable.
HB: "Hey.."
Amoka: Could not recognige her at first "Is that you, HB?"
HB: " Why are you walking so fast. You walking home tonight?"
Amoka: " Yeah, I gotta run. By the way, happy birthday.".
Seemed to work out just fine.

BTW I don't think you should use HB to represent your ex. It gives the impression that you are still interested in her. Which may be why you even made this thread.

This isn't an attack on you. Just something to ponder.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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grayclif

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amoka said:
On the way home tonight, I ran into her...unbeavilable.
HB: "Hey.."
Amoka: Could not recognige her at first "Is that you, HB?"
HB: " Why are you walking so fast. You walking home tonight?"
Amoka: " Yeah, I gotta run. By the way, happy birthday.".

Unbelievable???
Maybe she put herself there cause she knew you would "run" into her.
Just messing with you...
This post is right on time my ex's bday is this week.
 

shortie

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i ignored my ex's birthday which was 2 weeks after she left me. i am not over her yet so it would have been one more than that would have set me back on my path to moving forward.

and she has blown off an email conversation that she started with me after our break up, and didnt respond to it at all so i didnt want to put myself in the position where i was thinking about why she didnt reply if i said happy birthday or happy new year.

since you ran into her, good that you got it out of the way in person and no hassle of waiting for replies or lack there of. but in the future, if it isnt as convenient as running into her, i would say dont bother with it.
 

backbreaker

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to steal something out of the AA book, you will be able to do everything in due time as long as your motives are in order.

If you honestly are just doing it for good karma, there isn't an issue.

if you are doing it because it's part of your master game plan to sneak your way back in her heart, than you are going to fail and you are delaying the healing process.

I have this thing where I just don't' forget birthdays. I send texts /emails to all my ex's and old friends on their birthday. some send back some don't. not the biggest of deals. I frankly don't care what they think.
 

squirrels

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Just send, "Happy birthday". No cutesy comments accompanying it...that'd be gay even if you WERE still with her.

And if you're doing it for "karma", don't expect any response, or acknowledge it if it comes.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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Hell I can never remember a current gf's birthday or anniversary, that stuff has always gotten me in trouble!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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