"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Wish me luck.

stevera004

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First date with a fine young thing (ok, she's 34) in about 1.5 hours. Just got off the phone with her to arrange the details; but I'm feeling strangely anxious (strange, as in typical for me :).

Anyways, I'll post a recap. Hopefully others can learn; and not from a master DJ, but an aspiring one.

Best,
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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OddTech

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have fun. When you get back, give us a little background about the girl and how you met her.
 

stevera004

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I met her via an online dating service. We exchanged 2 emails yesterday, she sounded good, so we decided to meet (I hadn't seen her picture yet). We met at a well-known local coffee shop at 3pm.

First impressions were disapointment, she was probably a HB6. About 5 ft 4 in, 140lbs, reasonable shape. We sat down at a Starbuck's patio, had a coffee. Conversation dragged a bit, and I almost bolted at 4:30pm. I decided to be gentlemanly and wait for her to finish her coffee. When she did, she suggested we take it up at a local bar. I agreed (I had nothing else planned, so why not). I should note that she had just LJBF'ed me at this point too; but for me, I couldn't see a romantic future with her, so I was ok with this.

Things picked up considerably after we both had a beer (funny that). She talked about her life; mainly about her divorce and I talked about my past crap relationships. I was getting in the zone. At abougt 8pm, she suggests we buy some beer and head to her place. I was ok with this.

The story actually gets interesting here. It turns out that she lives with a HB8 ( 5 ft 2 in, 90 lb 30 y.o. divroced chick). HB8 stayed a bit and talked; then took a shower and left to go out ( I know you were expecting a threesome here, but unfortunately, this is real life).

We were listening to music; talking about old times ( it turns out that she and I are both from the same place in Europe). We listened to a lot of old music and just reminisced about our lives. She was really feeling it, with the beer and the music.; getting a bit emotional (tears in her eyes, etc.). But it was pleasant, and probably more than that.

It gets better. Turns out that some guy in the building is attracted to HB8; he knocks on the door and comes in to fix the computer (supposedlly there is something wrong with the printer and he is on call essentially to fix any issues). Unpaid computer help is pure AFC; and it was painful for me to watch him struggle with the stupid printer while me and HB6 were on the balcony; drinking beer and singing songs. Aspiring DJ (ie. me) says to himself; 'self, that AFC was you in another life. Never be that AFC'. Needless to say, HB6 had nothing but pity and contempt for AFC; who was 'fixing' the problem for at least 1 hour. Obviously, AFC was hoping that HB8 would return and waited. Luckily, HB8 wasn't to return for another few hours and AFC finally left.

Me and HB6 were thus alone in the apartment. She made me coffee ( the good Turkish coffee that I love ), we talked more and smoked cigarettes. HB6 was honest, truthful, and truly wonderful to talk to. Nothing else happened, nor did I want it to.

We talked about a lot of sh!t. Mainly relationship stuff (eg. what kind of women do I like, how many women I have slept with in my life, question upon question about my ex-gf, job questions, etc.). She was assertive, but in a wonderfully feminine way. When I spoke to AFC ( we're both in the computer biz. so I had a conv. with him about that ) she listened attentively. I dominated the converstation with AFC completely. She could sense that.

HB8 calls ( obviously to check up on HB6 ); HB6 tells me the scoop. HB8 thinks I am phenomenal ( rough translation from the original term ). That, plus other things HB6 said, made me sense that she thought that I was too good for her. Weird, but I'm 100% convinced of that.

Finally, HB8 returns. We talk a bit, smoke some more, have another Turkish coffee, and I gave my goodnight ( I returned her sweater that I was wearing at this point too; the sleeves were too short but it was freezing tonight out of the balcony).

That's it.

I don't know what to think; but (sadly); this probably was the best 10 hours I've had in the last few years.
 

Bungo Pony

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HB6 tells me the scoop. HB8 thinks I am phenomenal
I made a post about these women who relay messages a while back. What happened here is HB6 GAVE YOU PERMISSION to go after HB8. If HB6 wanted you all to herself, she wouldn't have said a damn word. HB8 was hoping that you would make your move on her when she got back to the apartment. Alas, nothing happened.

I'd advise you not to try and recover from this, but move on, learning a lesson in the great world of dating.
 

stevera004

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Thanks for the reply. To continue the saga (this will be my last post on this topic), HB6 emailed me (something like 'hope you didn't drink/smoke too much'). Hmmm, not sure what to do.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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gentleman193

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Bungo Pony is right. Now, if this was the best 10 hrs of your life, why not (a) stay friends with HB6 and (b) make a move on HB8?

I mean, if you and HB6 are tight, you're gonna bump into HB8 again. Just b/c you didn't make a move that night means nothing. A gentleman would not make his move on the roommate the very same night he met the first chick. Gotta dance with the girl you brung. Seems like great opportunities here, don't you guys think?
 
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