"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Winter Break- 6 weeks off!!! woohoo

Dukester

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Winter Break...not good

Normally a winter break w/ 6 weeks off would sound great right? ya, it would, and it does... to a certain extent.

i'm gonna be busy with work and everything, cuz we got a january deadline till our govt. contract ends, so during the week i'm full time- so that's not a prob.

my prob is my girlfriend. she's gonna be leaving for home for that 6 weeks, and chances are i'm not gonna see her at all. I know I sound AFC about this, but I really dont know what I should do.
My options:
1) convince her to get on AIM fairly regulary so we can talk
2) talk to her on the phone
3) go up and see her

option 1: she doesnt get on AIM that often
option 2: i dont like talking on the phone, and we hardly ever do, unless to make plans
(thanks to that great DJ advice i got)
option 3: she tells me that she's gonna be busy during the weekends, and i cant take off work to see her during the week.

so i guess my question is: should i call her more often, like 3 times a week maybe. or should i try and visit her at least once? or should i convince her to get on AIM, so we can talk then (not constantly tho)??

guys, lemme know what ya think?
i'm having a hard time adjust to this relationship, cuz i'm still in playa mentality
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Wiesman44

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how about get a hobby ? Keep active. There's no reason why you should have to call her 3x per week or go see her during your break. Its your BREAK. Relax, maybe get a temporary job.
 

Dukester

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well ya see. i do got a full time govt. contract job. so that covers the weekdays. and all my other friends are going home for break too. there's gonna be nobody here.
i'm just stressing out right nwo cuz of school and work. so maybe i'm blowing this thing way outta proportion
 

Big Pappy

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Why is she going to be so busy on the weekends?

She's not going to be there for your New Years' kiss? No Christmas presents?

Drop her.
 

Eternal

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How far away does she live? Can't she come visit during the week?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Dukester

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she lives about an hour and 45 minutes away. 2 hours if you dont speed.
her parents are split up, and she claims to have like 3 christmases or something, like one with her dad, and then one w/ her mom and that side, and then w/ her stepdad and his famly.
She's going to Cleveland w/ her dad on one weekend, and then to indiana another, and that still leaves 4 other weekends open.

She's not the type to lie, so i trust what she's telling me is the truth. She says she wishes we could hang out all durning break, but in reality we cant i guess.
 

Dukester

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well guys, i not letting this bother me. I got my normal life back together, and i stopped acting like an fvcking AFC for the weekend.
Just had to give it some time i guess-

I still got this issue of winter break and my g/f in the back of my mind, but 4 now i'm not letting it bother me. I'm gonna enjoy the next 2 weeks w/ her and worry a/b it lata
 

sustainable007

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Ball another woman

You are crazy for trying to stay in touch with her while shes out of town...F*** her, I recommend that while she is gone you take advatage of this time and:

1. Do whatever you enjoy to the fullest extent

2. Pursue other women

An AFC waits for women to make up their minds...A DJ assesses situations and siezes the oppourtunity...You have a real oppourtunity looking you in the face...Worse case scenario is you dont get laid...but even in that case who says you cant live it up
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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