"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Wingman Etiquette. And my main damie (pootietang)

sexualchocolate

Don Juan
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Are you out with your fellow DJ's and unknowingly ****blocking your friends?

These have all happened to me.

Find a quiet place and let your bud do his job when he finds himself in a promising sitution. Dont try to steal the lime light by being annoyingly comedic. Your simply bugging out bc you are without company.


Dont be a Captain Sav-A-Hoe. If im negging a girl, just laugh. Dont try to take up for her, hoping to hear an "awww, your so sweet." It makes me look like a bigger azzhole than im trying to be.

Dont reveal ANY secrets about your wingman. How many times must i give you "the eye" aka..... shut the hell up you worm.

For god sake, please dont have the audacity to rag your wingman in front of a lady. It starts to lower the value of your bud in Miss Potentials eyes. Get lost HATER!

Now lemme tell you about a friend of mine. We have years of experience wingin it up dropping the big D bombs on the terrorists we call women.

First of all. What makes a great wingman is one who will take one for the team. I just dont have it in me to screw a fatty. But hot damn my boy will. He's what I call a Sport F*cker. Just in it for the sport. His interest level flat lines the moment he leaves his receipt ( if you know what I mean). Then off to the next.

Im good without him. But when he and I get together, we form Voltron. A machine of minds, ready to break down any resistance that may be from any she-bots with an oversized pootbox.

In Da Club....

With a bag of looks or gestures. We know who to intercept to deter a ****block, when I see a two-peice dinner, when to approach, when he has a dance partner with an idle friend, well you get the idea.

Dedicated to my main damie. Thanx for helping me get laid :)


I once was escorted to the mall security room because they thought i stole an album. He asked if I had the record on me. I pulled down my pants and told him, "its no record, but it is 12 inches"
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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brosnake

Don Juan
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Good post. Finding a good wingman is like finding a $100 bill on the ground. I see guys put down their own wingmen all the time and its so damn lame. Girls can see right through that sh1t.

I'll look you up if I'm ever in NC and we can form the Captain Planet of Pimping.


-Sa da tay!
 

ShizamDaMan

Master Don Juan
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I consider myself a pretty good wingman. Nearly everytime I go out with one of my buddies he always takes the girl home. Unfortunately, he hasn't winged for me yet since he's been busy eating the scraps I give him (women I used to go out with, knew in the past, etc).

When I go and visit him at his place it'll be his turn to wing, and then he will finally realize how vital I am to him :p
 
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