"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Windy City Chronicles II
- Thread starter macallik
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
One approach on the street today. Waiting at a cross walk, I saw a cutie who glanced behind at me while we were waiting. I walked behind her a while and she glanced backwards like she was looking to see where I was in relation to her, so I went in.
Used the default opener as of late (Hey I know you probably get this all the time but I think you are cute so I wanted to say hello). She gave me a strained thank you and peeled off to the nearest bus stop. Oh well. First approach in 2-3 days so it was a little nervous energy prior to that.
Also had a day two with a girl I met at the Water Tower last week finally. Cool girl. Not super attracted/interested although she is cute. Good practice and a chance to work on leading a conversation and building a mental understanding of a female. We went to Target for a bit and then I had to get ready for work so we went our separate ways.
Kinda threw me off at first because she is an open bisexual and she was telling me about her friends. You know how it is when you are talking to a female and they start talking how much she loves her friend and how they always have a good time and you kinda wait with bated breath to find out if it is a male or female they are referring to. Well as a bisexual, every friend she talked to can be a previous/current lovers so it got to the point it was too confusing to make me jealous. Plus, her phone screensaver was text that said that she loved *insert female name here*
Whatever, the relationships a female has with others should not interfere with my gameplan. Been doing something think and I have reached the conclusion that seduction should be extremely flexible and ever-changing regarding the person you are trying to seduce but completely autonomous regarding all other obstacles.
Used the default opener as of late (Hey I know you probably get this all the time but I think you are cute so I wanted to say hello). She gave me a strained thank you and peeled off to the nearest bus stop. Oh well. First approach in 2-3 days so it was a little nervous energy prior to that.
Also had a day two with a girl I met at the Water Tower last week finally. Cool girl. Not super attracted/interested although she is cute. Good practice and a chance to work on leading a conversation and building a mental understanding of a female. We went to Target for a bit and then I had to get ready for work so we went our separate ways.
Kinda threw me off at first because she is an open bisexual and she was telling me about her friends. You know how it is when you are talking to a female and they start talking how much she loves her friend and how they always have a good time and you kinda wait with bated breath to find out if it is a male or female they are referring to. Well as a bisexual, every friend she talked to can be a previous/current lovers so it got to the point it was too confusing to make me jealous. Plus, her phone screensaver was text that said that she loved *insert female name here*
Whatever, the relationships a female has with others should not interfere with my gameplan. Been doing something think and I have reached the conclusion that seduction should be extremely flexible and ever-changing regarding the person you are trying to seduce but completely autonomous regarding all other obstacles.
Have been grinding steadily lately so i started the new journal because when it comes to females, I feel like I am ready to take things to the next level and become more consistent with my results.
I no longer view the idea of approaching women as a job... I now look at it like a career. A job is something you don't want to do in the long run, but you can force yourself to do it occasionally. However, when you don't feel up for it, you are probably going to call in sick or find an excuse to get out of work early. A career, OTOH, you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life, so when days that you feel like calling in sick arise, you still are able to force yourself to suck it up and do it because deep down you see value in it.
As a result, approaching women isn't a chore anymore, it is more like a skill I am constantly working on improving. Nowadays I don't feel as let down when I get rejected or fall short of expectations because I know tomorrow I will be punching in and doing it all over again.
I am still getting used to the idea that every time I leave the house I can potentially get a new number. Initially I overdid it and became sloppy when it comes to following through new numbers because I knew I could replace that number easily. As a result, I still have a lot to learn after the approach.
I no longer view the idea of approaching women as a job... I now look at it like a career. A job is something you don't want to do in the long run, but you can force yourself to do it occasionally. However, when you don't feel up for it, you are probably going to call in sick or find an excuse to get out of work early. A career, OTOH, you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life, so when days that you feel like calling in sick arise, you still are able to force yourself to suck it up and do it because deep down you see value in it.
As a result, approaching women isn't a chore anymore, it is more like a skill I am constantly working on improving. Nowadays I don't feel as let down when I get rejected or fall short of expectations because I know tomorrow I will be punching in and doing it all over again.
I am still getting used to the idea that every time I leave the house I can potentially get a new number. Initially I overdid it and became sloppy when it comes to following through new numbers because I knew I could replace that number easily. As a result, I still have a lot to learn after the approach.
Wouldn't you know it. After that post, I got a rough case of approach anxiety.
I snapped out of it finally today and got one approach under my belt. Walking home from work at night and I winged a friend who went in on two chicks. He got the digits for his girl but the chick I was talking to rejected my attempt to get her number. Whatever, I gained some exp points and should be leveling up soon lol.
It is weird because I went close to 2-3 weeks where the idea of balking on an approach didn't even cross my mind. Then I got stuck in my head somehow. The only way I know to get back in that confident mindset is to consistently approach until it becomes 2nd nature again. Also Valentine's Day, with all the cute couples and stuffed teddy bears, reminded me that I am not where I need to be in terms of plates.
More when I make it happen.
I snapped out of it finally today and got one approach under my belt. Walking home from work at night and I winged a friend who went in on two chicks. He got the digits for his girl but the chick I was talking to rejected my attempt to get her number. Whatever, I gained some exp points and should be leveling up soon lol.
It is weird because I went close to 2-3 weeks where the idea of balking on an approach didn't even cross my mind. Then I got stuck in my head somehow. The only way I know to get back in that confident mindset is to consistently approach until it becomes 2nd nature again. Also Valentine's Day, with all the cute couples and stuffed teddy bears, reminded me that I am not where I need to be in terms of plates.
More when I make it happen.
One approach on the street yesterday. I saw a cute, older woman on State Street walking past the T-Mobile store and I peeled back and approached. I was rusty and she didn't even hear my rap the first time so I had to repeat everything. After that, I invited her to a hotel party I was going to but she declined and says she doesn't do that kind of thing.
I asked her if she was too old for that scene and she said no, she was a minister. I patted her on the back and told her that the lord is with her and ejected.
I asked her if she was too old for that scene and she said no, she was a minister. I patted her on the back and told her that the lord is with her and ejected.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
A girl was coming out of a Starbucks or a Jamba Juice over by Lake St/N Michigan Ave last week and so I left my friends behind and opened with "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hello". I said that and then started cheesing, which made her smile. When I am nervous, smiling is the furthest thing from my mind, but in the right mindset, everything seems natural.
We cross the street together and I deflect the randomness of my approach by saying I was with my friends and saw her walking and thought I might as well meet her and because I see them all the time so they won't be too upset if I disappear with a cutie for a few seconds. She laughs.
We talk and walk from Lake St/N Michigan to the WGN AM radio station and then we sit and talk for 10-15 more minutes until my friends catch up with us.
She says she is from Seattle, and I tell her that they are "known for Fraiser and the Space Needle and..." she laughs and agrees that that is pretty much all Seattle is known for. I find out she lives in the suburbs about an hour train ride away but visits Chicago often.
She is unemployed, planning on attending culinary school, she often stays at home and takes care of her god-children, she is single at the moment. She is not a huge fan of valentine day: not because she is against PDA or anything but because she thinks people should show their love 24/7. (Missed a perfect opportunity to ask how she expresses love and how does she know when she feels loved and how it makes her feel... still getting used to listening to conversations and drilling in on key themes that define who they are as a person)
Also, she is the type of girl who does not really need to go out all the time to have fun. She likes to hang out at home and play cards or something. Asked her what she did for fun and she said a few things, one of which was a jazz lounge. I asked her what would she wear if I took her to a jazz lounge and I think she stopped and mentally picked out an outfit.
If I wasn't with my friends, I probably would have stayed around and went shopping with her and tried to escalate like I never did with Rudy. I am working to get to the point that I don't feel as if I need to impress her and then remove myself from the situation ASAP. I feel like the more I talk to a woman, the more I can find out about her and use to make her believe I am exactly the guy she is looking for. I still have work to do and still draw blanks at inopportune times but I am getting better.
When my friends called my back to find me, I let her know that and she said she was surprised that they let me stay with her that long and that most times, her friends would have come got her by now. I laughed and called her friends ****blocks, to which she disagreed, looked me in the eye and said "they don't do that. We are all grown..." She seems open and DTF based on the interaction as a whole. She wasn't overtly sexual or coming onto me in a major way, but she didn't shy away when I steered the convo into slightly sexualized territory.
For example, she asked me which direction to the Victoria Secrets and Niketown. I told her she was going the right way and then said if she is planning an outfit for the next time we meet, I sure like the sound of it. She laughed and then ran the joke a little further.
Anyways I got her number earlier in the convo and, we go our separate ways. I was feeling it, so I wanted to grab some more numbers but when I went in Forever21, she ended up popping on the scene and so I decided it might be too risky to continue approaching and risk changing her perception of me so I called it a night for day game.
Was supposed to hang out with her today but I called and she said she wasn't gonna make it to Chicago because "some sh!t came up". No biggie, will assume the best and try and arrange something between us but I won't be exactly waiting by the phone if you catch my drift.
We cross the street together and I deflect the randomness of my approach by saying I was with my friends and saw her walking and thought I might as well meet her and because I see them all the time so they won't be too upset if I disappear with a cutie for a few seconds. She laughs.
We talk and walk from Lake St/N Michigan to the WGN AM radio station and then we sit and talk for 10-15 more minutes until my friends catch up with us.
She says she is from Seattle, and I tell her that they are "known for Fraiser and the Space Needle and..." she laughs and agrees that that is pretty much all Seattle is known for. I find out she lives in the suburbs about an hour train ride away but visits Chicago often.
She is unemployed, planning on attending culinary school, she often stays at home and takes care of her god-children, she is single at the moment. She is not a huge fan of valentine day: not because she is against PDA or anything but because she thinks people should show their love 24/7. (Missed a perfect opportunity to ask how she expresses love and how does she know when she feels loved and how it makes her feel... still getting used to listening to conversations and drilling in on key themes that define who they are as a person)
Also, she is the type of girl who does not really need to go out all the time to have fun. She likes to hang out at home and play cards or something. Asked her what she did for fun and she said a few things, one of which was a jazz lounge. I asked her what would she wear if I took her to a jazz lounge and I think she stopped and mentally picked out an outfit.
If I wasn't with my friends, I probably would have stayed around and went shopping with her and tried to escalate like I never did with Rudy. I am working to get to the point that I don't feel as if I need to impress her and then remove myself from the situation ASAP. I feel like the more I talk to a woman, the more I can find out about her and use to make her believe I am exactly the guy she is looking for. I still have work to do and still draw blanks at inopportune times but I am getting better.
When my friends called my back to find me, I let her know that and she said she was surprised that they let me stay with her that long and that most times, her friends would have come got her by now. I laughed and called her friends ****blocks, to which she disagreed, looked me in the eye and said "they don't do that. We are all grown..." She seems open and DTF based on the interaction as a whole. She wasn't overtly sexual or coming onto me in a major way, but she didn't shy away when I steered the convo into slightly sexualized territory.
For example, she asked me which direction to the Victoria Secrets and Niketown. I told her she was going the right way and then said if she is planning an outfit for the next time we meet, I sure like the sound of it. She laughed and then ran the joke a little further.
Anyways I got her number earlier in the convo and, we go our separate ways. I was feeling it, so I wanted to grab some more numbers but when I went in Forever21, she ended up popping on the scene and so I decided it might be too risky to continue approaching and risk changing her perception of me so I called it a night for day game.
Was supposed to hang out with her today but I called and she said she wasn't gonna make it to Chicago because "some sh!t came up". No biggie, will assume the best and try and arrange something between us but I won't be exactly waiting by the phone if you catch my drift.
Went clubbing Saturday night. I go clubbing like once every week or two but never really report it unless something substantial amounts from it. I see night game more about attraction and clouded judgment than two people getting to know each other. I prefer day game much more.
Anyways, I met a chick named Tonya and ended up going home with her. She said she was 21 but after we fvcked, she told be she was 18. Yay for underaged chicks in the club who lie. Still, she does have a one bedroom apt to herself up wayyy North so it evens out.
We were supposed to hang out today but I didn't feel like making the mission North. Will kick it with her again another time. I am not really interested in her other than sexually and will get some more chicks in rotation.
Anyways, I met a chick named Tonya and ended up going home with her. She said she was 21 but after we fvcked, she told be she was 18. Yay for underaged chicks in the club who lie. Still, she does have a one bedroom apt to herself up wayyy North so it evens out.
We were supposed to hang out today but I didn't feel like making the mission North. Will kick it with her again another time. I am not really interested in her other than sexually and will get some more chicks in rotation.
Two approaches under my belt today.
The first woman, I met in Nordstrom's mall. I approached with:
Macallik: Hey I know you probably get this all the time but I think you are cute and wanted to say hello
Woman: *big smile* Oh thank you!
*Shakes hands and exchange names*
Macallik: So how old are you
Her: How old do I look?
Macallik: *tries to guess her real age in my head and then say something like 5 years under it*
Macallik: 26-ish...?
Her: Actually I am 28
Macallik: Nice, how old do I look
Her: 22
Macallik: actually I am 24
Macallik: So what are you doing in the mall today?
Her: Just running some errands
Macallik: Oh wow are you like a personal assistant to a celebrity or something
Her: *playful slap on the shoulder* Haha no I am nobody's personal assistant
Macallik: Oh ok are you somebody's girlfriend
Her: *Smiles* Yes and it was nice meeting you though *starts ejecting*
Macallik: All the best. yeah another time another place yadda yadda haha
Her: *laughs* yup
Second approach
Walking to work I see a girl at the crosswalk and decide to approach. She was smiling but said she had a boyfriend (I didn't ask this time) and ejected.
Things to work on
- Stop asking if they have a boyfriend and stop asking women what their age is. These things are irrelevant in an approach and you are creating obstacles to overcome
- Reinitiate phone conversations better. I have gotten ignored on a few texts recently and need to figure out how to keep that interesting, fun vibe through text
Positive Things
- I can't recall the last time I got an instant snub from a chick. I am either repression automatic rejections or I am making better first impressions. Either reason is good for me.
- Results aren't quite where I want them to be but I am getting better consistently. I need to remember this when I go through a rough patch or some back to back flakes
The first woman, I met in Nordstrom's mall. I approached with:
Macallik: Hey I know you probably get this all the time but I think you are cute and wanted to say hello
Woman: *big smile* Oh thank you!
*Shakes hands and exchange names*
Macallik: So how old are you
Her: How old do I look?
Macallik: *tries to guess her real age in my head and then say something like 5 years under it*
Macallik: 26-ish...?
Her: Actually I am 28
Macallik: Nice, how old do I look
Her: 22
Macallik: actually I am 24
Macallik: So what are you doing in the mall today?
Her: Just running some errands
Macallik: Oh wow are you like a personal assistant to a celebrity or something
Her: *playful slap on the shoulder* Haha no I am nobody's personal assistant
Macallik: Oh ok are you somebody's girlfriend
Her: *Smiles* Yes and it was nice meeting you though *starts ejecting*
Macallik: All the best. yeah another time another place yadda yadda haha
Her: *laughs* yup
Second approach
Walking to work I see a girl at the crosswalk and decide to approach. She was smiling but said she had a boyfriend (I didn't ask this time) and ejected.
Things to work on
- Stop asking if they have a boyfriend and stop asking women what their age is. These things are irrelevant in an approach and you are creating obstacles to overcome
- Reinitiate phone conversations better. I have gotten ignored on a few texts recently and need to figure out how to keep that interesting, fun vibe through text
Positive Things
- I can't recall the last time I got an instant snub from a chick. I am either repression automatic rejections or I am making better first impressions. Either reason is good for me.
- Results aren't quite where I want them to be but I am getting better consistently. I need to remember this when I go through a rough patch or some back to back flakes
Which club did u go to?macallik said:
I need to hit you up one of these weekends. My goal as the weather becomes better is to expand my social circle/have more "life fun" and am going to try to find some regular "hang out" night spots (ie hanging out at clubs where I know people or become known) I hate cold weather and tend to hibernate during winter. I give you props for getting out there during the cold weather for day game.
Hey Sigma, I went to this reggae joint near Wrigleyvile. I am trying to hit up some new spots in the near future because I am falling into a routine going to the same club(s) over and over. I think Chicago is too big and has too much variety to become a regular anywhere. There are so many different types of women and experiences to have that I don't want to sell myself short.sigma335 said:
Have been thinking about my game and here are some trends I have noticed
Garbage Bin
- Kissing girls on the hand when I meet them
- saying "It sounds like a sign" whenever I have something in common with a girl
- presupposing a relationship waaaay too soon. It makes me look desperate
- Saying "Check, check and check" when a girl tells me what she wants in a guy and it matches who I am
New things to try and implement
- When I notice that I have something in common with a female, dwell on it... sidestep the corny joke or the easy laugh, and instead get some rapport going
- Get ample attraction and THEN move to rapport
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Yesterday I got a text from Andrea, the chick I met downtown. I texted her a few times since we first met and she seemed low interest and didn't respond to all the texts so I got the nexting stick ready.
Anyways yesterday she texted me to let me know that she was coming downtown. I told her okay and to text me when she was ready.
The next day we meet up downtown around 3pm and hang out until about 7:30 before we part ways. The conversation was easy flowing and the vibe was decent. We met @ Macy's on State Street and she modeled some clothes for me. I tried to convince her repeatedly to try on some pajama booty shorts but she constantly laughed and told me no because her legs were ashy. I think my exact words were, "I don't give a fvcccccck!" with a devilish grin but to no avail.
We then walked and talked alllll the way to the Macy's at the Water Tower to see their selection but they didn't have what she wanted. She was tired from the walk so we sat on one of those couches in the Water Tower for 15-30 mins talking, decent rapport there. Then we went to a Victoria Secrets and then I told her what I liked in the store and she showed me what she thought was cute.
There was more sexually suggestive topics, but next time, I need to talk about sex itself. For example, when we were walking through Macy's, she asked me if I wear board shorts, and I say yeah.... but I always wear underwear underneath. She asks why and I tell her that way if I get an erection it doesn't poke someone's eye out. Me or her talked about sex, but it was always just a crude joke and never really anything that will put sex on the brain and get her hot and horny. Will work on that.
Kino here and there, nothing spectacular but clearly she was interested, I must have gotten the playful smack at least 20x during the duration of our hang out, Also the little things like when we were walking on the escalator or waiting at the crosswalk, she would brush her shoulder against me. Also, we walked with crooked arms intertwined for a while. I'd also redirect her to where I wanted her to go by placing my hand on the small of the back whenever she took a wrong turn or was taking too long. Little stuff like that.
At the end of the night, I walked her back to the train station for her to leave. At first she wanted to stay longer and asked me where I had to be later on. I told her I had to meet up with my guy friend but I was trying to set up a date with a girl I met at the club (Swanee) immediately afterwards.
The second date with Swanee, it fell through because, as I later found out, she has a child, so she can't just drop everything to come out for a sporadic date. It sucks too because I think I may have found a killer date spot for Monday nights. I will try and take a different girl there next week perhaps.
Back to Andrea though, the night is wrapping up and it is make or break time. We hugged goodbye and I lingered closer and contemplated going in for the kiss but I just wasn't getting the vibe I wanted. She thanks me for walking her to the train station and tells me how much fun she had hanging with me.
Normally I would have forced the kiss, but now I am trying to not come off as so hungry sexually because as we all know, the hungry never get fed. If Andrea calls/texts me, I will talk to her, but if not, I will just talk to her whenever she is in the city. The fact that she ignored my text a while back really made me not want to invest any time in her if she in my sight. I meet too many women nowadays so you need to bring your A game from jump.
More when it happens.
Anyways yesterday she texted me to let me know that she was coming downtown. I told her okay and to text me when she was ready.
The next day we meet up downtown around 3pm and hang out until about 7:30 before we part ways. The conversation was easy flowing and the vibe was decent. We met @ Macy's on State Street and she modeled some clothes for me. I tried to convince her repeatedly to try on some pajama booty shorts but she constantly laughed and told me no because her legs were ashy. I think my exact words were, "I don't give a fvcccccck!" with a devilish grin but to no avail.
We then walked and talked alllll the way to the Macy's at the Water Tower to see their selection but they didn't have what she wanted. She was tired from the walk so we sat on one of those couches in the Water Tower for 15-30 mins talking, decent rapport there. Then we went to a Victoria Secrets and then I told her what I liked in the store and she showed me what she thought was cute.
There was more sexually suggestive topics, but next time, I need to talk about sex itself. For example, when we were walking through Macy's, she asked me if I wear board shorts, and I say yeah.... but I always wear underwear underneath. She asks why and I tell her that way if I get an erection it doesn't poke someone's eye out. Me or her talked about sex, but it was always just a crude joke and never really anything that will put sex on the brain and get her hot and horny. Will work on that.
Kino here and there, nothing spectacular but clearly she was interested, I must have gotten the playful smack at least 20x during the duration of our hang out, Also the little things like when we were walking on the escalator or waiting at the crosswalk, she would brush her shoulder against me. Also, we walked with crooked arms intertwined for a while. I'd also redirect her to where I wanted her to go by placing my hand on the small of the back whenever she took a wrong turn or was taking too long. Little stuff like that.
At the end of the night, I walked her back to the train station for her to leave. At first she wanted to stay longer and asked me where I had to be later on. I told her I had to meet up with my guy friend but I was trying to set up a date with a girl I met at the club (Swanee) immediately afterwards.
The second date with Swanee, it fell through because, as I later found out, she has a child, so she can't just drop everything to come out for a sporadic date. It sucks too because I think I may have found a killer date spot for Monday nights. I will try and take a different girl there next week perhaps.
Back to Andrea though, the night is wrapping up and it is make or break time. We hugged goodbye and I lingered closer and contemplated going in for the kiss but I just wasn't getting the vibe I wanted. She thanks me for walking her to the train station and tells me how much fun she had hanging with me.
Normally I would have forced the kiss, but now I am trying to not come off as so hungry sexually because as we all know, the hungry never get fed. If Andrea calls/texts me, I will talk to her, but if not, I will just talk to her whenever she is in the city. The fact that she ignored my text a while back really made me not want to invest any time in her if she in my sight. I meet too many women nowadays so you need to bring your A game from jump.
More when it happens.
Had a date scheduled with a chick Hilary today. I met her NYE and we seemed to hit it off but things never amounted to anything. There was always a blizzard or a party that fell through whenever we were scheduled to hang out and we both subsequently fell off each others radar.
However, I saw her out at the club the past weekend and caked it with her for most of the night. She seems interested. Called her last night and arranged a date today, told her I will hit her with the details tomorrow (today)
Today, I text her around 2pm with the directions and about 40 mins later, she asks to reschedule because an emergency came up. I thought about not responding but I told her ok and wished her well.
A part of me wants to just drop her to the bottom of the pile for a week or two, and another part is telling me she is still interested even though she flaked. It could have been a legitimate reason so I still want to strike while the iron is hot. Advice is welcome.
Also, been texting with Swanee today. She went MIA last night but re-initiated late this afternoon.
Went downtown but didn't get any approaches in unfortunately. Will get some new chicks in the mix soon enough.
However, I saw her out at the club the past weekend and caked it with her for most of the night. She seems interested. Called her last night and arranged a date today, told her I will hit her with the details tomorrow (today)
Today, I text her around 2pm with the directions and about 40 mins later, she asks to reschedule because an emergency came up. I thought about not responding but I told her ok and wished her well.
A part of me wants to just drop her to the bottom of the pile for a week or two, and another part is telling me she is still interested even though she flaked. It could have been a legitimate reason so I still want to strike while the iron is hot. Advice is welcome.
Also, been texting with Swanee today. She went MIA last night but re-initiated late this afternoon.
Went downtown but didn't get any approaches in unfortunately. Will get some new chicks in the mix soon enough.
One approach today, while walking just off State Street downtown. I saw a cute chick with a lip piercing. Went in with the default opener and smiled. I am going to work on smiling more because it is very disarming. I introduced myself, shook hands and I asked here where she is coming from and she said her boyfriends house.
Next time I will have one of those rebuttals from the archive section ready. This time I just threw in the towel and kinda let the air out of the approach.
One realization for today is that interactions with women should be fun and interesting. If I am not looking forward to meeting someone new or calling them on the phone, I am approaching the situation with the wrong mentality.
Next time I will have one of those rebuttals from the archive section ready. This time I just threw in the towel and kinda let the air out of the approach.
One realization for today is that interactions with women should be fun and interesting. If I am not looking forward to meeting someone new or calling them on the phone, I am approaching the situation with the wrong mentality.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
I don't mean to be offensive or abrasive, but you are trying too hard. Still.
You are looking for sex and women. Not a connection with Someone.
Many, many women can spot your type (being a wannabe player or a guywhojustwantsonething) from a mile away. If you approached me, even if I thought you were cute, I'd immediately have you disqualified and would eject. You are sending signals loud and clear, even if you do not realize it. It is tacky.
A lot of girls are annoyed by guys who's #1 hobby is Girls.
The girls you will get the easiest will be the Tonya's, who are ok with just being wanted for one thing.
Go read some Fingz, man. Even though he needs to be slapped real good right about now, he had down interactions with women to a T, and was obviously very charming to the opposite sex.
so the solution? ----------------------------------
Stop making the chase your #1 goal and hobby.
Have a bunch of other hobbies that put you in the line of opportunity, and when you get a tug on the line, THEN you can reel in something meaningful to YOU.
I like how you make yourself get out there, and go out once or twice a week. You went to Kingston Mines, did you? I'd invite you out to hang with me and my friends, or just to "wing", but I think that you'd just be annoying to me at this point with your focus on getting @ss instead of being a cool person to get to know.
ps: now whenever I see a young guy approaching me or another chick when I am downtown, and it is the annoying "this young pup
" kind of approach, I immediately think of you. Not Good, lol!
You are starving for some connection, but it is because you are eating junk!
You are looking for sex and women. Not a connection with Someone.
Many, many women can spot your type (being a wannabe player or a guywhojustwantsonething) from a mile away. If you approached me, even if I thought you were cute, I'd immediately have you disqualified and would eject. You are sending signals loud and clear, even if you do not realize it. It is tacky.
A lot of girls are annoyed by guys who's #1 hobby is Girls.
The girls you will get the easiest will be the Tonya's, who are ok with just being wanted for one thing.
Go read some Fingz, man. Even though he needs to be slapped real good right about now, he had down interactions with women to a T, and was obviously very charming to the opposite sex.
so the solution? ----------------------------------
Stop making the chase your #1 goal and hobby.
Have a bunch of other hobbies that put you in the line of opportunity, and when you get a tug on the line, THEN you can reel in something meaningful to YOU.
I like how you make yourself get out there, and go out once or twice a week. You went to Kingston Mines, did you? I'd invite you out to hang with me and my friends, or just to "wing", but I think that you'd just be annoying to me at this point with your focus on getting @ss instead of being a cool person to get to know.
ps: now whenever I see a young guy approaching me or another chick when I am downtown, and it is the annoying "this young pup
" kind of approach, I immediately think of you. Not Good, lol!You are starving for some connection, but it is because you are eating junk!
I am all for connections and love but every girl is not worth attempting to have a deep connection with.iqqi said:
Look @ my previous edition of this journal. I deaded every girl once I realized that we weren't 100% compatible. Then I came to the realization that I am not a woman in her mid 40s looking to settle down, with her biological clock ticking and the couples around her getting married.
Now, if I have a conversation with a female and determine that the only thing about her that interests me is her body, I will stay for NSA sex.
You are projecting. The whole point of these approaches is to actively meet women and gain more and more experience dealing with the fairer sex.iqqi said:
If my signals are, as you say, 'loud and clear,' then the only way to work on that is through more experience and altering my approach. Your suggestion that I should stop approaching and take up some hobbies does not address the issue of becoming better approaching women.
No, you are misunderstanding. Based on my life experiences/personal views, I have a specific set of traits that I find valuable in a female. They are unique to me and I am sure you have traits you look for in a man that are unique to you as well. Every girl I meet does not embody what I am looking for. Some chicks are too loud, some don't know when to shut up, some aren't confident enough, some have too much baggage that I can't help them with, some are too ghetto, etc.
Previously, I would ignore these chicks, never call if I got their numbers, or cut contact with them once I realized we were incompatible. Recently, I also added 'fvcking them' as an option.
I am not a guy who is only after one thing, but I will take that one thing if that is the only thing that I find valuable in her. I am not saying she is worthless as a human being, I am saying that she is worthless as a potential girlfriend for ME and so she will not get the perks that a girlfriend would.
I really don't feel the need to explain myself but since I believe that deep down you are trying to help, I will. I have various hobbies but when I come to a board about SEDUCTION, I talk about the seduction aspects of my life.
Furthermore, I enjoy clicking with someone but I also enjoy the idea of going out and actively going after what I want. Happiness is in the doing. If it were solely about the connection, I would retire from approaching and just start a PoF account and copy and paste a script from online.
Okay, the above quotation is an example of value. You incorrectly believed that I find value in hanging out with you and your friends. You think you are offering me a great opportunity, but in my head, I am indifferent. This is the same thing that happens when I meet a woman I don't connect with.
That is where the decision time arises and I can either let her know that we have nothing in common and I really don't care about X (X being: America's Next Top Model episodes, hanging out with her friends, what she had for dinner, etc) and walk away empty handed... or I can nod my head a few times and change the subject.
I did the former when I was 'searching for a connection' and people run for the hills. It seemed high and mighty when i was looking for 'the one' but in retrospect, it is closed-minded and suicide as a seducer. Now I do the latter. Some may say the world is full of people looking for a connection and others may say that the world is full of people just looking for someone to reaffirm their narcissism. C'est la vie.
I smiled that you think of me when you see a young whippersnapper approaching. The point is this: I am willing to pay the price it takes. If I look desperate until I get the hang of it, whatever. If I have to get rejected repeatedly until I get good at it, whatever. If you think negatively of me, whatever.ps: now whenever I see a young guy approaching me or another chick when I am downtown, and it is the annoying "this young pup
You are starving for some connection, but it is because you are eating junk!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
Dangnammit, don't you know all this time I have been mispelling etc, as ect., and NO ONE has told me. Fvcking bastards!!!!macallik said:
Mmmmmkay, now real quickly a few tings:
You are saying right here that your world does not revolve around chasing girls.macallik said:
All I am saying is that maybe you come across as trying too hard. To the women you are trying to pull.
I don't understand what I am projecting? Picture me with a big confused face.macallik said:
The only reason I suggest taking up some hobbies, is so that you are around women doing something else that doesn't involve solely women. A natural meeting is more conducive than a contrived one, which is what you seem to be doing when you are just loitering around the loop looking for hot chicks to approach, which also fits into that whole trying too hard vibe.
Well, you seem a bit ruffled here. I invite you out (not really) and you say that you find no value in that, how rude.macallik said:
I didn't mean that literally I thought you wanted to hang out with me, lol. I was just trying to let you know that perhaps other women got the same impression from you and that is why things keep fizzling for you.When I described "I would invite you to hang out with me and my friends...", the part that followed it was the part for you to take into consideration, and that was how you might be coming across to people. Or should I say, the people you'd value in hanging out with.
As perhaps, trying too hard. And possibly annoying to hang out with because of all your ulterior motives.I don't think negatively of you but reading your approaches have started to make me wince, because from having been on the receiving end of multiple approaches, I can see what you are doing all wrong. It isn't one thing that is the problem, it is like a mentality thing. You have a lot of potential, but I feel like you are TRYING TOO HARD, there is a lot of contrived situations occurring which is unnatural, which sucks because I think you have the potential to be one of those mystical "naturals".macallik said:
I even see it in some of your approaches, but obviously you are doing something wrong or you'd have more success.
Sorry this wasn't written well, need to sleep. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Cool.
I'm am still calibrating so there are going to be approaches that are cliched and/or give the feel that I am trying too hard. It will work itself out eventually once I start noticing patterns and adjusting my game accordingly.
At first I took your post to mean that my life is one-dimensional and I need hobbies to interest women. After your 2nd post, I see that you are talking about expanding the places I meet women.
I had a night job which limited me to lounging in the loop for ladies and/or clubs, but now I have days and nights free again so I can expand my approaching arenas.
I'm am still calibrating so there are going to be approaches that are cliched and/or give the feel that I am trying too hard. It will work itself out eventually once I start noticing patterns and adjusting my game accordingly.
At first I took your post to mean that my life is one-dimensional and I need hobbies to interest women. After your 2nd post, I see that you are talking about expanding the places I meet women.
I had a night job which limited me to lounging in the loop for ladies and/or clubs, but now I have days and nights free again so I can expand my approaching arenas.
neghitzbrah
Don Juan
Maybe approach based on EC for a bit
Hey macallik -- what I've been doing (for sometime) is approach women based on whether they give me EC or are attracted to me. I take advantage of a situation when a stranger smiles at me or gives me a bit more attention than the average joe. I have been practicing cold approaches but came with no success recently. I find it easier to meet women through friends or at bars/restaurants/cafes/stores. I've had no success on the street or in the subway (except for a few).
I'm not saying that cold approaching is wrong, but maybe you should be working on receiving positive feedback through EC or smiles. The reason why I say this is because most of your approaches (if not all) are cold ones.
You seem like a guy who has no problem approaching women. Use that to your advantage with EC, then go in for the prize. Be more observant. You could very well have a few girls looking at you when you walk into a room, but once you get witnessed being shot down it may be kind of a turn off to them.
Other than that, I think you're doin a great job and have a lot of potential. Good luck bro
Hey macallik -- what I've been doing (for sometime) is approach women based on whether they give me EC or are attracted to me. I take advantage of a situation when a stranger smiles at me or gives me a bit more attention than the average joe. I have been practicing cold approaches but came with no success recently. I find it easier to meet women through friends or at bars/restaurants/cafes/stores. I've had no success on the street or in the subway (except for a few).
I'm not saying that cold approaching is wrong, but maybe you should be working on receiving positive feedback through EC or smiles. The reason why I say this is because most of your approaches (if not all) are cold ones.
You seem like a guy who has no problem approaching women. Use that to your advantage with EC, then go in for the prize. Be more observant. You could very well have a few girls looking at you when you walk into a room, but once you get witnessed being shot down it may be kind of a turn off to them.
Other than that, I think you're doin a great job and have a lot of potential. Good luck bro
Thanks neghitzbrah, I agree with the smile/eye contact comment. I also try and look for signs of interest to approach when I am downtown before approaching but sometimes women are in their own world or just aren't giving me eye contact/smiles so I approach anyways. I will work on being more observant and cold-reading people better.
Stationary spots are cool. In my past experiences, unless meeting women is the secondary motive, stationary spots get boring quickly for me but they are definitely easier to establish eye contact and they have a less apprehensive overall dynamics.
I will work on adding some to my arsenal. A wider range of events and scenes will offer more approach opportunities and a wider range of girls than just walking the streets and clubbing for sure.
Stationary spots are cool. In my past experiences, unless meeting women is the secondary motive, stationary spots get boring quickly for me but they are definitely easier to establish eye contact and they have a less apprehensive overall dynamics.
I will work on adding some to my arsenal. A wider range of events and scenes will offer more approach opportunities and a wider range of girls than just walking the streets and clubbing for sure.
Okay, went to some UIC party over the weekend. Managed to kinda finger this chick on the dancefloor but out of the three #s I got, I did not (get a chance to) try any shennanigans with them. As of right now though, only one has potential. For the other two #s, one never responded and the other stopped responding.
Nandy, the girl with potential, I met her at the end of the party, and we talked for 20 minutes or so. She seems like a reserved kinda girl from our conversation. Well perhaps reserved is not the right word to describe her. She isn't saddity but she strikes me as the type to believe in higher Arts and lower arts. One of those anti-pop culture type that will grow up to talk about everything that is wrong with society in an art gallery while she buys a $1700 painting to impress her friends at the next gala she throws.
Not 100% my type to be honest. She had some great breasts though which is saying a lot coming from me because I am much more of a face/ass kind of guy.
I called her yesterday and she said that she has to write two papers but should be free for the rest of the week and the week after because of spring break. She also said she lives alone on campus... *cue a hard-on as my imagination starting to run*
I will hit her up today and see what's what.
Also over the weekend, I hit up a storytelling event hosted by Columbia College @ Martyrs bar to get my stationary game restarted. The turnout was my scene intellectually but not at all really sexually. I suppose that is to be expected with most literary scene across the globe: You have your standard handful of male nerds who don't believe in personal grooming, wear ill-fitting carpenter jeans, and finish the cliched ensemble with a graphic tee with some sort of abstract pop culture references that is lost in translation to those who don't speak Klingon.
Then, there are always at least 1-2 chick with the Sinead O'Connor buzz cut to show how progressive or anti-authoritative of a frames she is in. The kind of chick that you can't decide whether she is really a lesbian or just pretending to be one to deflect the fact that no conscientious male wants to have sex with her.
Flank that with a bunch of unattractive girls that seem to wallow in the gloom and weirdness of Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club (sans the fvckability of course) and that is your average crowd in the lit scene. There was a smattering of the females that were slightly homely, but still of the interesting girl next door variety. Some of the older chicks were cuter I suppose.
Anyways, I took some notes on storytelling that I can use. I didn't work the stationary scene like I wanted to. I arrived fashionably late (very well-dressed I might add) so it was standing room only. Coupled with the layout, I had the uneasy feeling that if I stopped in one heavily populated place, I would be encroaching on someone's view of the festivities, and so I just ended up hanging out in a sparsely populated corner of the bar for the duration of the night.
Oh and another girl on the radar this week. It started last year, when I was going up to a local college, there was a girl in my English class, Michelle. She was cute. Not 'walking down the street and HAVE to approach' cute, but more like 'sitting in a classroom and she seems interesting' cute. I'm sure many of you know the difference.
A month or two ago, while cruising the mall for chicks with friends, I bumped into her. I had downed a half a 4loko on an empty stomach so although I wasn't drunk, my skinny frame definitely had an uninhibited buzz to it. I think I asked why hasn't she got my # because we both know I am extremely cute or something to that ****y effect.
She takes my # and texts me a few days later. She is working for one of the many jewelery stores located in Chicago and I brought up the fact that I have a watch with a broken link that I haven't worn for like 2 years. She told me to bring it to her store and she will get it fixed for free. I had other women in my life I was pursuing at the time so I never got around to it but I bumped into her again recently and she asked about my watch.
I took the watch in yesterday and had a few minutes of small talk. She doesn't have to fix my watch for free but is choosing to do so with no expectations of a reward and I can respect that in a woman so I counteroffered to take her out to lunch. She accepted. We were scheduled to have lunch today but she had to reschedule. Told her cool and to let me know when she is free.
Also, had a good talk with Hilary on the phone last night. She is a manger at a bank that sounds like she has real potential. She has a car but doesn't live in Chicago and she works a lot so we shall see.
Nandy, the girl with potential, I met her at the end of the party, and we talked for 20 minutes or so. She seems like a reserved kinda girl from our conversation. Well perhaps reserved is not the right word to describe her. She isn't saddity but she strikes me as the type to believe in higher Arts and lower arts. One of those anti-pop culture type that will grow up to talk about everything that is wrong with society in an art gallery while she buys a $1700 painting to impress her friends at the next gala she throws.
Not 100% my type to be honest. She had some great breasts though which is saying a lot coming from me because I am much more of a face/ass kind of guy.
I called her yesterday and she said that she has to write two papers but should be free for the rest of the week and the week after because of spring break. She also said she lives alone on campus... *cue a hard-on as my imagination starting to run*
I will hit her up today and see what's what.
Also over the weekend, I hit up a storytelling event hosted by Columbia College @ Martyrs bar to get my stationary game restarted. The turnout was my scene intellectually but not at all really sexually. I suppose that is to be expected with most literary scene across the globe: You have your standard handful of male nerds who don't believe in personal grooming, wear ill-fitting carpenter jeans, and finish the cliched ensemble with a graphic tee with some sort of abstract pop culture references that is lost in translation to those who don't speak Klingon.
Then, there are always at least 1-2 chick with the Sinead O'Connor buzz cut to show how progressive or anti-authoritative of a frames she is in. The kind of chick that you can't decide whether she is really a lesbian or just pretending to be one to deflect the fact that no conscientious male wants to have sex with her.
Flank that with a bunch of unattractive girls that seem to wallow in the gloom and weirdness of Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club (sans the fvckability of course) and that is your average crowd in the lit scene. There was a smattering of the females that were slightly homely, but still of the interesting girl next door variety. Some of the older chicks were cuter I suppose.
Anyways, I took some notes on storytelling that I can use. I didn't work the stationary scene like I wanted to. I arrived fashionably late (very well-dressed I might add) so it was standing room only. Coupled with the layout, I had the uneasy feeling that if I stopped in one heavily populated place, I would be encroaching on someone's view of the festivities, and so I just ended up hanging out in a sparsely populated corner of the bar for the duration of the night.
Oh and another girl on the radar this week. It started last year, when I was going up to a local college, there was a girl in my English class, Michelle. She was cute. Not 'walking down the street and HAVE to approach' cute, but more like 'sitting in a classroom and she seems interesting' cute. I'm sure many of you know the difference.
A month or two ago, while cruising the mall for chicks with friends, I bumped into her. I had downed a half a 4loko on an empty stomach so although I wasn't drunk, my skinny frame definitely had an uninhibited buzz to it. I think I asked why hasn't she got my # because we both know I am extremely cute or something to that ****y effect.
She takes my # and texts me a few days later. She is working for one of the many jewelery stores located in Chicago and I brought up the fact that I have a watch with a broken link that I haven't worn for like 2 years. She told me to bring it to her store and she will get it fixed for free. I had other women in my life I was pursuing at the time so I never got around to it but I bumped into her again recently and she asked about my watch.
I took the watch in yesterday and had a few minutes of small talk. She doesn't have to fix my watch for free but is choosing to do so with no expectations of a reward and I can respect that in a woman so I counteroffered to take her out to lunch. She accepted. We were scheduled to have lunch today but she had to reschedule. Told her cool and to let me know when she is free.
Also, had a good talk with Hilary on the phone last night. She is a manger at a bank that sounds like she has real potential. She has a car but doesn't live in Chicago and she works a lot so we shall see.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.