"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Will this kind of talk work?

Elf2

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I've known this girl a year now...shes said she likes hanging out with me and likes talking to me and I'm one of the only guys shes likes doing either with...yet we have not hooked up. She has not yet said that she likes me. I know she knows that I like her. I'm starting to bring her out with my friends to parties and stuff and I don't want my friends hitting on her so I figured I'd talk with her alone to see what's up between us..

This are the points I want to make with her:

-what do you see me as? (friend, sexual?)
-why I bring her along (enjoy her company and being with her)
-don't want to keep brining her out and around my friends if she only sees me as a friend because obviously i wouldn't like that. (should I include this?)

and obviously if she see's me only as friends be "ok, that's all i wanted to know" and move on....
I'm hoping to get either a straight answer of yes...i see you only as a friend...or no...and then we hook up.

Is this a smart plan? anyone?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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lil hooligan

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have you talked to her alone before this?
 

Elf2

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lil hooligan said:
have you talked to her alone before this?
no, i haven't...all other times have either been in groups with my or her friends...
 

secks

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Elf2 said:
I've known this girl a year now...shes said she likes hanging out with me and likes talking to me and I'm one of the only guys shes likes doing either with...yet we have not hooked up. She has not yet said that she likes me. I know she knows that I like her. I'm starting to bring her out with my friends to parties and stuff and I don't want my friends hitting on her so I figured I'd talk with her alone to see what's up between us..

This are the points I want to make with her:

-what do you see me as? (friend, sexual?)
-why I bring her along (enjoy her company and being with her)
-don't want to keep brining her out and around my friends if she only sees me as a friend because obviously i wouldn't like that. (should I include this?)

and obviously if she see's me only as friends be "ok, that's all i wanted to know" and move on....
I'm hoping to get either a straight answer of yes...i see you only as a friend...or no...and then we hook up.

Is this a smart plan? anyone?
A couple of things you should never do:

Don't ask her if she likes you.
Don't ask her about your relationship with her.
Don't tell her you like her.

Basically don't talk to her about any of the things you mentioned. This will send you straight to friendzone.

Sounds like you may already be there, but if not, here's what your approach should be:

Call her up and set a date. Pick up on whether she is interested, or if she just wants to be friends. It's hard to tell once you're in friendzone becasue they behave the same way.
Make a move on her. If she's interested, she will respond accordingly. If not, you'll just be friends.

If she is interested, and you ask her if she is. She isn't going to say: yes, lets have sex. You're just going to become another friends.

Basically don't talk to girls about feelings.
 
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