Was talking to a girl I haven't seen in a while. I asked her if she wanted to do something on my day off this week. She said no, she was working. Ok, it's cool if she's not available, no big deal, but she didn't even offer a different day (and the consensus I've heard was that if she didn't offer a different day then she's not interested). Anyway, in the past I couldn't figure this girl out, she's kind of a flake (and airhead), and I was never able to figure whether she was interested or not (she sometimes acted interested, sometimes not). Well, just to save time I offered her a easy way to say no to hanging out if she wasn't interested (other than not responding). If she wasn't interested would she have taken that easy way out?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Will most girls take the easy way out if you offer it to them?
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
She_feelin_Me
Don Juan
Toss this chick...You just be wasting your time trying to figure her out when you can be getting to know someone else.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
not like I'll waste all my time figuring her out (ie, I'll try to find and get to know other girls, though that will take a lot of time).She_feelin_Me said:Toss this chick...You just be wasting your time trying to figure her out when you can be getting to know someone else.
Igetit!
Moderator
The "concensus" is right. Generally,if you ask out a woman and she declines...WITHOUT making a counter offer,then she's not interested.Kal0051 said:Was talking to a girl I haven't seen in a while. I asked her if she wanted to do something on my day off this week. She said no, she was working. Ok, it's cool if she's not available, no big deal, but she didn't even offer a different day (and the consensus I've heard was that if she didn't offer a different day then she's not interested).
You should focus more on making yourself as attractive as possible to make her say yes instead of trying to make it easy for her to say no.Kal0051 said:Anyway, in the past I couldn't figure this girl out, she's kind of a flake (and airhead), and I was never able to figure whether she was interested or not (she sometimes acted interested, sometimes not). Well, just to save time I offered her a easy way to say no to hanging out if she wasn't interested (other than not responding). If she wasn't interested would she have taken that easy way out?
Granted,it is good for her to have any easy way out,however,that shouldn't be your first priority.
This has been said over and over again on the forum...Kal0051 said:Dunno whether or not she's interested. I was hoping so save myself some time so I made it easy for her to say no,she didn't.
GO BY A WOMAN'S ACTION,NOT HER WORDS.
Go by what she does,not by what she says. The only time I'll listen to a woman's words is when her words and actions line up.
Other than that,I side with her actions.
The way I determine if a girl likes me or not when I ask her out is this:
If she says yes: Interested.
If she says no: Not interested.
If she says ANYTHING ELSE other than yes or no,like,"Maybe","Might","I don't know","I need some time to think about it","I'm not sure","Let me get back to you",etc,if she says anything like these,then she's NOT INTERESTED.
Imo,this girl has turned AW on you. She likes being asked out by you,she likes the attention. It makes her feel wanted,feel desired.
It pumps up her ego,and makes her feel good....BUT,
THERE'S NO ATTRACTION PRESENT.
Don't think because you make a woman feel good that you make her feel attraction,because you don't. The kind of "good" you make her feel by constantly trying to take her out,is somewhat similiar to common people or peasants worshiping or bowing down before a queen.
She likes the attention. It makes her feel good. But as far as sexual attraction,peseants don't cut it. The only one she feels attraction for is the KING, who's bigger,stronger,has power and authority over her.
So unless you're behaving as a king,(or the way we put it here on the forum),the "prize",you can pretty much write off any attraction you think she might have for you.
And besides,it should be evident. Just look at her behavior towards you.
What woman would behave so indifferent,so "take it or leave it-ish" towards a king/prize?
You said something about how "time would tell" whether or not she's interested in you.
I say forget about time and just look at her behavior.
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
She_feelin_Me said:Toss this chick...You just be wasting your time trying to figure her out when you can be getting to know someone else.
ebonics? or tring to be cooo?
this is your third post on how someone talks. What is your problem? If your not helping and you have nothing useful to say, take your grammer police/race crusade somewhere else. Douche.Joe Stud said:ebonics? or tring to be cooo?
Laid Back Jack
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GO BY A WOMAN'S ACTION,NOT HER WORDS
That says it all man.
That says it all man.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.