Will I hear from her again?

Blackhole105

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This is a unique situation for me, somewhat frustrating. I've never hooked up with a girl this much older, so she's a bit of a new species for me. Take that into account.

I texted this 28 year old girl Saturday night on a fluke, I really didn't think I meet up with her that night. We had been texting for about a month since we first met at a bar. I had been trying to meet up with her since I got her number, but nothing was happening, so I had pretty much given up on her. But for the hell of it, I asked her Saturday night if she wanted to meet up downtown later. She said she can't because she is with friends in another part of the city (about 30 minutes away). I thought "eff it" and didn't think I'd hear from her ever again. However to my surprise, she texts me about an hour later saying I can go join her if I want to. I had nothing else going on, so I decided to go. On the train ride over, she would text me periodically asking if I was still coming, how far away I was, I want to see you...ish like that.

I meet her outside the bar and we hug. Then we stand there for a second, looking at each other and smiling, and she leans in close and we kiss a few times. Then we go inside. Once we're inside she introduces me to her friends and then we go up to the bar. There's light kino right off the bat and that soon evolves into heavy kino. We kiss and make out frequently while we're at the bar. I have my arm around her the whole time while she leans into me, and she has practically forgotten about her friends. At one point I slide my hand up her dress and get pretty close to her snatch. My hand got very warm the closer I got to the center of her legs. I mean it's pretty damn obvious to me that she was DTF. But I didn't think that would happen because the bar was going to close in about a half hour, and she was staying in that part of the city at her friend's place, while I had to go home.

And this is when something that's never happened to me before happened. She suddenly grabbed my hand and led me outside. At first I thought she just wanted some fresh air, but then she says she's going to hail a cab. Soon we get into a cab, and she tells the driver to take us back to her apartment on the other side of the city. Being a novice, I'm a bit nervous at this point but up for whatever and having a great time. As we're approaching her apartment, she starts digging in her purse for her keys...crap, she forgot that she left her apartment keys back at her friend's place. We get out of the taxi outside of her place, and she continues to dig in her purse for her keys even though it's obvious she doesn't have them. At this point she asks me if we can go back to my place, as I'm pretty close by. I say we can't because my room is way too messy (it really is disgusting and I have no AC, so going to my place just wouldn't be a good idea and was out of the question in my mind). We stand around for a bit and ultimately she takes a cab back to her friend's place and I walk home. I thought our departure was fine though. We hugged and kissed.

I didn't text her or hear from her the rest of the night. The next day I sent her a text in the morning saying I hoped she made it back okay and found her keys. Her responses were terse and unreceptive, so I backed off. Then today I sent her a text in the afternoon asking when she's free this week, in hopes that we can finish what we started. I have not heard back from her though...and I have a feeling I may not.

I think maybe I offended her or something by not inviting her to my place. And surely she went back to her friends sexually frustrated (as did I), but other than that the night was great and I thought she'd be receptive to my texts or at least have a longer dialogue with me.

You guys think I'll hear from her again, or should I just let go of my expectations and consider her a lost cause?
 
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BeDJ

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If a chick told you that you couldn't go to her place because it was messy AFTER you invited her to yours, wouldn't you take it as a flat rejection?

Get out of the mindset that sex is special and everything needs to be perfectly in place. You missed out on a lay because it has to feeeeeeeeeel right. A chick will fvck you anytime, anywhere.

Showing up to her place with a rose over your d!ck will have more success than anything you can do now. Move on.
 

ARrocket

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Blackhole105 said:
I say we can't because my room is way too messy (it really is disgusting and I have no AC, so going to my place just wouldn't be a good idea and was out of the question in my mind).
Please don't ever fvck up this badly again.

1) Don't let your room get that messy.

2) If it really was that bad, just make her sit in the living room (or whatever) for 5 minutes while you hurry to make it presentable.

Anyway, anything anyone says about hearing from her again is just speculation. Only way to find out is to try.
 

Iceberg

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What the other guys said.

When a girl makes a bold move like initiating sex with a guy, they don't take kindly to getting rejected. It makes it seem like you're either not interested, or not man enough to take what she's giving you.

Next time you find yourself in this situation, f**k her in a messy room...Sit her in the livingroom while you sweep all your mess under the bed...or bang her in your bathroom. Who cares? The point is, the woman wanted d!ck. Not candles and roses in a 5-star hotel.
 

TheCWord

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This was painful to read but it's okay man - we all have stories like these and we learn from them.

I'm your girl's age and I can tell you exactly what's going on: you didn't offend her - she was only after a one night thing. It's not something you did - she would be cold on you today anyway.

One night. That's all it was ever going to be. A bummer that you missed that window, but next time you take her home - messy or not!!!

Reminds me of George Costanza when his date invited him up for coffee at the end of the night, "Oh, I better not. Coffee keeps me up at night."
 

Blackhole105

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Well thanks for the advice thus far. But i really thought it wouldnt be such a big deal because we live pretty close to each other. I thought i'd get invited over the next day or something.

I guess when she said that she didnt care that my room was messy i didnt believe her. In any case i need to maintain an adequate level of tidyness. It's something ive always struggled with, so hopefully this is the final wakeup call for me.

Based on your guys' expertise and my own intuition, I'm thinking at best ill be a late night booty call for her. But, if i dont hear from her during the next week or so, ill take one mote shot in the dark and contact her, and just leave it at that if she doesnt reply.
 

Iceberg

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Blackhole105 said:
Well thanks for the advice thus far. But i really thought it wouldnt be such a big deal because we live pretty close to each other. I thought i'd get invited over the next day or something.
Hah. No, dude. Women don't think like that. You were want she wanted in the moment. Assuming that she'd just wait another day to seal the deal is wrong...You're just giving her more time to talk herself out of it.

I guess when she said that she didnt care that my room was messy i didnt believe her. In any case i need to maintain an adequate level of tidyness.
In a situation like this, your goal is to get the girl to your home. Worry about the other stuff AFTER you've accomplished the goal.

Based on your guys' expertise and my own intuition, I'm thinking at best ill be a late night booty call for her. But, if i dont hear from her during the next week or so, ill take one mote shot in the dark and contact her, and just leave it at that if she doesnt reply.
Based on my expertise (well, my own personal experience), this girl played her hand, and she won't do it again. A girl won't risk putting herself out there like that and get rejected twice.

Nothing wrong with taking another shot. Just keep your expectations in check.
 

LorenzoVonM

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Everyone has pretty much covered everything. I will add to try to live in the moment. Maybe you were thinking about future dates with this girl and how a messy room would turn her off to that? Who cares. Do what feels good in the moment and then what happens, happens. Once a girl is horny enough she will bang in a disgusting alley with street animals watching you. Many even have fantasies about it!

Living in the moment will also does wonders for your game.
 
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