Viper
Banned
Yeah, mods, you can lock this thread. I'm tired of it and just think I would be better off finding a way myself. It's not really going anywhere.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Will I ever achieve my dream of being a DJ? Not in this lifetime.
- Thread starter Viper
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
familyguyfan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2005
- Messages
- 551
- Reaction score
- 0
It's your own fault it's not going anywhere. You're just digging yourself a hole and you're rejecting our attempts to pull you out.
Viper
Banned
No, look, I've read all your advice. First of all, I have friends, they say "Sup Mike" and talk to me, but I don't really know them well enough to ask them if they want to chill during the weekend and I can tell that they don't see me as one of the guys and to tell you the truth, I don't think it would bother me if it stayed that way. Secondly, the only reason I would be making friends is so that I have social proof so that girls will like me, social proof so some girl can like me? Hah, I even feel stupid writing this, if I want friends, I'll get REAL friends and I'll let those friends come naturally(Not from random approaches), not get friends so that I can have social proof for some girl who won't even like me. I don't even care about girls or getting friends write now, I care about improving Mike, improving myself, before I get to know people, I have to get to know myself, I mean really, if you asked me what type of personally I had, I couldn't look you in the eye and tell you. Before improving conversation, before getting girls, I want to improve myself. But I guess making more friends is the only way to do that from what your saying familyguyfan? Eh, I don't really see how I'll improve if I start making a bunch of friends.Originally posted by familyguyfan
It's your own fault it's not going anywhere. You're just digging yourself a hole and you're rejecting our attempts to pull you out.
Viper
Banned
Give up, hell no. I'm just not looking social proof right now. I'm looking to improve myself, my attitude, my drive, my motivation, my ambition and it since it looks like no one hear can do anything to help me with that, looks like I'll have to do that myself. Once I'm more confident about myself, friends will come naturally, I'll have a better outlook on life, I won't care about having better conversational skills, I'll just go with the flow, this isn't a one day process, so I guess I'll start pondering ways on how I can improve these things now.
There's hope for anyone. Some just take longer.
Firstly, you are probaly not challenged enough. I mean my school work is actually interesting, since most classes I have, are just debates, and I am in accelerated. Really, my school is the best public school in the state.
So if you can, get in more accelerated classes, maybe see about an AP class. I find that if you really get to know the administration, and show them that you are lacking challenge, and would like to be placed in harder classes, they will take an interest in you. I got my scheduling late, but I got it personalized, and all my classes rock.
Another way is to find something you are really interested in, something you could persue as a career, or a passion. Mine is computers, and I love them. I can spend hours learning about it, and I do it all independently.
Maybe you could get a class like teachers aid. It's called site-based co-op at my school, and basically I become apprentice to the computer teacher, and probaly will get to take a programming class later.
Basically, try to learn some special skill that you enjoy. I also enjoy writing, and tons of other things.
Basically, if you can find something that you love doing, and can do by yourself, you will find more interest in life. I love my Nintendo 64, and Zelda. I could play it over and over again. Just anything.
I don't recommend isolating yourself, but the ideal DJ is someone who enjoys life at all times. If I am bored, and don't have anything to do, I will think about some computer problem I have, or something else, and I am content.
Or hitting up a chick, playing basketball, which I might do later today, or walking through the park. Anything, it's all good.
But try to develop your skills, so later in college, which you better go to, you will have an advantage, and you will pwn your classes.
But I gtg, some chick is flaming me on AIM, I don't even know her, but she apparently hates my guts.
Firstly, you are probaly not challenged enough. I mean my school work is actually interesting, since most classes I have, are just debates, and I am in accelerated. Really, my school is the best public school in the state.
So if you can, get in more accelerated classes, maybe see about an AP class. I find that if you really get to know the administration, and show them that you are lacking challenge, and would like to be placed in harder classes, they will take an interest in you. I got my scheduling late, but I got it personalized, and all my classes rock.
Another way is to find something you are really interested in, something you could persue as a career, or a passion. Mine is computers, and I love them. I can spend hours learning about it, and I do it all independently.
Maybe you could get a class like teachers aid. It's called site-based co-op at my school, and basically I become apprentice to the computer teacher, and probaly will get to take a programming class later.
Basically, try to learn some special skill that you enjoy. I also enjoy writing, and tons of other things.
Basically, if you can find something that you love doing, and can do by yourself, you will find more interest in life. I love my Nintendo 64, and Zelda. I could play it over and over again. Just anything.
I don't recommend isolating yourself, but the ideal DJ is someone who enjoys life at all times. If I am bored, and don't have anything to do, I will think about some computer problem I have, or something else, and I am content.
Or hitting up a chick, playing basketball, which I might do later today, or walking through the park. Anything, it's all good.
But try to develop your skills, so later in college, which you better go to, you will have an advantage, and you will pwn your classes.
But I gtg, some chick is flaming me on AIM, I don't even know her, but she apparently hates my guts.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Familyguyfan just spent so much time writing that post up...and I agreed with all of it...and thats all you can say? What's wrong with you...? I been trying to be nice this whole time to you. No one's this nice to me when I have my own problems. I have to just toughen up and do something...
If you're so "smart" about all this and you're convinced that you can just fix it by figure it out by yourself, tell me: what're you going to do first? What's your first step in improving yourself? Because, now all of a sudden, you don't CARE about anything but improving yourself.
tigre
Don Juan
dude theres no point in you getting a girl since your life is sooo boring and you probably wont have sh1t to talk to her about other than playing videogames and the internet she´ll probably dump you fast. At least you´re going to the gym, feeling good about your body gives you confidence, and so what if the gym is far from your house, walk, its not like you have something better to do. hell, you can even meet new people on the way to the gym. I would advice you to hit the gym harrd and start talking to people in order to make friends, also get a hobby and play some type of sport.
familyguyfan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2005
- Messages
- 551
- Reaction score
- 0
I hate to break it to you, but those guys you say hey to aren't your friends. They're your acquaintances. But guess what. You can make them your friends. You can't make excuses and say that you don't know any of them well enough to do anything with them on the weekends. How do you think you ever get to know anyone? You call them up and hang out with them.
You're getting what I'm saying about making friends entirely wrong. While I did say that it will be much easier to get girls when you have friends, I'm not at all saying that you should make friends just so you have social proof. I think you need friends because everybody needs friends. That is EXACTLY why you are bored and unhappy all the time. You can cure a LOT of that boredom if you are hanging out with some friends instead of browsing this site on a Saturday night. Who cares if they're not the best guys in the world, it's still something to do. Better than sitting on your ass at home all night. And maybe once you start hanging out with those guys you'll meet some more people, and those may be true friends that come "naturally".
Now, it's definitely good that you want to improve yourself. However, don't write off getting friends as unimportant until you are done improving yourself. Making and having friends can and should be part of your self-improvement. In addition to being more happy and less bored, by making these friends you will gain valuable social skills that you can use later. Once you can effectively talk to and have a good time with some guys, talking to girls will be a hell of a lot easier.
You're right, no one but you can improve your attitude, drive, or motivation. We can't make you more confident either. However, what we can do is help give you tips on making it easier to improve all of those things. Additionally, we can give you plenty of tips on what to do once you've improved all of those things. And I feel like that's what we've been trying to do. I mean let's face it, your confidence will only improve so much from you doing stuff by yourself. To truly gain confidence you need to actually go out and do things like approach girls, and gradually you won't be afraid anymore.
Finally, I honestly think that the main reason you don't know your own personality is because I don't think you have enough contact with people. Sure, you see plenty in school and I'm sure you make small talk, but how often do you have a good, deep conversation with someone? Once you start making some friends, you will have more deep conversations and I think you'll start to "find yourself".
Rationality
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2005
- Messages
- 9
- Reaction score
- 0
Viper, you sound like exactly like this one kid in my grade. He has absolutely no friends, and has the worst posture ever. He also has an attitude problem, just like you. Everyone makes fun of him. Sound familiar? How about some "Insider Information"? Everyone says that if he were to get rid of the attitude he would be approachable and more attractice. Just be nice to people, but at the same time outspoken. Being ****y isn't always the right thing to do, unless you're fairly close with the person you're interacting with.
"What's up" isn't corny at all (I dunno why anyone would think that). After reading all this, you're probably saying to yourself I dont have the "confidence" to do any of this. Well, I think that confidence will only be gained by throwing yourself into situation. How about not aiming to approach 20 women, but rather aiming to just say "what's up" to that girl you like. Dont even think, just say it. Dont even think how you're going to respond, it'll come naturally. JUST DO THIS ONCE DUDE! THEN POST HOW IT WENT! Think of how much time you wasted responding to everyone and rethinking everything after making this thread. - I dont even know why I'm responding to this. I say "what's up" like 100 times a day to girls and boys, and it seems so god damn natural I don't even think about it. It's such an insignificant event that I find it funny that this thread went on like 7 pages, and you haven't even done that yet.
Haha, come to think of it, that loser guy I was talking about before says "What's up" to mad people too, but he's an ******* so no one likes him.
"What's up" isn't corny at all (I dunno why anyone would think that). After reading all this, you're probably saying to yourself I dont have the "confidence" to do any of this. Well, I think that confidence will only be gained by throwing yourself into situation. How about not aiming to approach 20 women, but rather aiming to just say "what's up" to that girl you like. Dont even think, just say it. Dont even think how you're going to respond, it'll come naturally. JUST DO THIS ONCE DUDE! THEN POST HOW IT WENT! Think of how much time you wasted responding to everyone and rethinking everything after making this thread. - I dont even know why I'm responding to this. I say "what's up" like 100 times a day to girls and boys, and it seems so god damn natural I don't even think about it. It's such an insignificant event that I find it funny that this thread went on like 7 pages, and you haven't even done that yet.
Haha, come to think of it, that loser guy I was talking about before says "What's up" to mad people too, but he's an ******* so no one likes him.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I thought someone had locked this thread. Guess not. It's still useful.
I don't go to the gym, there isn't much use, I look fine.
But it really helps the self esteem, and confidence, till you have an everlasting flow of it.
Like me.
I don't go to the gym, there isn't much use, I look fine.
But it really helps the self esteem, and confidence, till you have an everlasting flow of it.
Like me
.Reborn Don Juan
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2005
- Messages
- 15
- Reaction score
- 0
Wow, I didn't think that trick was allowed here. Fucking marvelous!
Viper. I think you need something that is called a passion. It's something you really enjoy doing and you need to do often. Kind of like an addiction, but in a good way. Like art or sports.
Also you spend waaaay to much time on
TELL ME. What actions did you take during the period: The time when you decided you wanted to improve --- Now (this moment you read this)
Also you spend waaaay to much time on
You need the really do something.
TELL ME. What actions did you take during the period: The time when you decided you wanted to improve --- Now (this moment you read this)
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
bump...viper read this sh*t...maybe youll understand why we all talk so much sh*t
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Flabbergasped?
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 14, 2005
- Messages
- 539
- Reaction score
- 12
God, Viper has 4 of the 5 posts at the top of the page about him!
Viper
Banned
You are freaking crazy man, not only is most of this irrelavent right now, but you freaking bumped a topic that's tons of monthes old.
Get a freaking life.
Get a freaking life.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
Im helping you out. In these threads theres ALL THE ADVICE YOU NEED.
Viper
Banned
Well, thanks for bumping it, since you just HAD to bump it and couldn't just post a link an in existing topic, congrats, I'm not reading this since you had to be so damn stupid. As I said, it's irrelavent at this point and it was just damn stupid for you to do this in a first place, you know if you had just posted links, I'd think you had a lick of intelligence. So I'm ignoring these and going to back to my new topic, I don't care what you say, because honestly I don't give a sh*t about you, you obviously don't read the posts and you obviously don't know what the hell you are talking about and yes, I'm talking to you ONLY, oakraiderz. If you want to whine and link me to completely irrelavent pasts threads, then you just go ahead and do that, that doesn't mean I'll actually give a sh*t. Others, do continue posting here if you want, but I'm done checking these old irrevalent threads.