Wife goes to Club/Bar

[ThunderMaverick]

I agree with all of you.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

It's a balancing act man. I think people who say the original poster is not guilty for creating this mess are coming from the mindset that women are out to sucker us, and from that frame, you'll always be in situations where you're getting suckered. I think that if you actually love women and treat them in a seductive and romantic fashion, while still being alpha enough to take care of your sh*t and be in charge (show her your pimp hand), then you won't have to worry about getting suckered because the women will be swooning.

As for this case, even if his wife is lazy and even if she should make her own coffee, she's his wife, he must have loved her, must have wanted to be with her, and therefore, shoudn't create the conditions for her to resent him and want to screw around. No woman cheats simply because she wants to sucker him. They cheat because they are wired to look out for the most alpha guy who can most adequately provide for her and her offspring. This is not just DeAngelo theory, but scientific evolutionary theory that has been tested and documented in all animal species. And so if he's displaying all this beta stuff and calling her lazy for not working, no wonder she loses attraction. He should be able to handle all this stuff (or appear to handle) and also be able to smoothly handle her moods and chick drama.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[iqqi]

I wondered how long it would take iqqi&Co. ...

I kind of like this statement. It implies that I am the leader of the more intelligent posters.

(sticks chest out proudly)

(remembers what site she is on, and immediately pulls it back in.)

 

[ketostix]

It's a balancing act man. I think people who say the original poster is not guilty for creating this mess are coming from the mindset that women are out to sucker us, and from that frame, you'll always be in situations where you're getting suckered. I think that if you actually love women and treat them in a seductive and romantic fashion, while still being alpha enough to take care of your sh*t and be in charge (show her your pimp hand), then you won't have to worry about getting suckered because the women will be swooning.

As for this case, even if his wife is lazy and even if she should make her own coffee, she's his wife, he must have loved her, must have wanted to be with her, and therefore, shoudn't create the conditions for her to resent him and want to screw around. No woman cheats simply because she wants to sucker him. They cheat because they are wired to look out for the most alpha guy who can most adequately provide for her and her offspring. This is not just DeAngelo theory, but scientific evolutionary theory that has been tested and documented in all animal species. And so if he's displaying all this beta stuff and calling her lazy for not working, no wonder she loses attraction. He should be able to handle all this stuff (or appear to handle) and also be able to smoothly handle her moods and chick drama.

Cesare Cardinali

All I'm saying is she overreacted, and her actions were indefensible, and I suspect she has eyes for other men. He could do everything "right" and she could still do whatever she decides to do that he doesn't want.

 

[Ever onward]

I think that if you actually love women and treat them in a seductive and romantic fashion, while still being alpha enough to take care of your sh*t and be in charge (show her your pimp hand), then you won't have to worry about getting suckered because the women will be swooning.

I respect where your coming from. I agree with much of what you are saying there. I will add my own opinion to that and say that Quality women deserve that treatment and good ones are hard to find. The guy was hurtful to her no question about it.

However that doesn't excuse her behavior

Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a very long time to find out what kind of person you are really with. Sometimes it isn't until after you are married and have your baby in your arms to find out who you are really married to.

 

[jophil28]

Lol, yeah, this is exactly how human beings react when they are emotional, and have just been criticized by the person they love.

That is probably why the OP so calmly and maturely called her lazy to begin with!

THis is just another way of a woman (you) saying , " HE made her do it ".
That old crock still seems to be universally popular with women.

NO , this is just how some women behave who do not have the skills to be in an adult relationship. A woman being "emotional" is not a legitimate excuse to avoid the criticisms and consequences that flow from her appalling behavior. SHe had other options and she took the most immature and the most potentially damaging. Women have the same choices that men have - they just do not take the sensible ones very often.

 

[potato]

It's a balancing act man. I think people who say the original poster is not guilty for creating this mess are coming from the mindset that women are out to sucker us, and from that frame, you'll always be in situations where you're getting suckered. I think that if you actually love women and treat them in a seductive and romantic fashion, while still being alpha enough to take care of your sh*t and be in charge (show her your pimp hand), then you won't have to worry about getting suckered because the women will be swooning.

This is kind of the way that I see it. I’m not going to say that a woman has never done me wrong but it has been rare enough that I don’t think about it. Yet reading some on-line forums one gets the idea that all women are out to sucker every man. I just don’t get it.

Every guy that I’ve ever personally known that regularly got screwed over by women tended to be the type that seemed to deserve it for one reason or many reasons.

 

[KarmaSutra]

If she weren't up to no good than why not go to a library or to a church and get some reflection? I think cell phones work there too. Instead she went out with the INTENTION of getting buzzed so she could relax her inhibitions and keep the: "I was too drunk to drive so blah, blah let me sleep it off at his house." bullsh!t excuse in her purse to pull out when she needs it.

She wanted attention from men. Specifically a fellow in her class named Josh. And she had ulterior motives and used his not making her coffee justification for doing someone she wasn't supposed to.

Cesare, I think you have this delusion that what women act upon has little to do to reflect thier own justifications for said motives.

iq, you're simply pushing buttons again.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Cesare, I think you have this delusion that what women act upon has little to do to reflect thier own justifications for said motives.

QUOTE]

I don't get what you mean...

 

[KarmaSutra]

Cesare, I think you have this delusion that what women act upon has little to do to reflect thier own justifications for said motives.

I don't get what you mean...

No, I believe you do. But I'll expound on it for you a bit.

Women, for the most part, think emotionally rather than logically. They immediately re-act rather than process a positive outcome to a potential situation.

Some men are this way too. We call them AFC's.

This idiot used her husband's not bowing to put sugar in her coffee as an impetus to fvck around on him. If she was so torn and emotionally stricken with grief why didn't she go to a family member or close mutual friend and talk about it instead of doing what she will admit thus far?

You and I know why and so does everyone else who has any semblence of insight into the human condition.

 

[ketostix]

If she weren't up to no good than why not go to a library or to a church and get some reflection? I think cell phones work there too. Instead she went out with the INTENTION of getting buzzed so she could relax her inhibitions and keep the: "I was too drunk to drive so blah, blah let me sleep it off at his house." bullsh!t excuse in her purse to pull out when she needs it.

She wanted attention from men. Specifically a fellow in her class named Josh. And she had ulterior motives and used his not making her coffee justification for doing someone she wasn't supposed to.

Cesare, I think you have this delusion that what women act upon has little to do to reflect thier own justifications for said motives.

iq, you're simply pushing buttons again.

reps

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Sorry man, but I don't agree with you. Nor do i think it's helpful to the original poster for us to say "she f*cked around" based on the tiny slice of info we have.

Why didn't she go to a family member? I don't know what her values are or what her maturity level is. Maybe you would have gone to a family member, someone else would have gone to a bar. I still don't think we can judge her so harshly based on the info we have.

 

[iqqi]

iq, you're simply pushing buttons again.

Hmmm. That would imply that I am mindlessly typing meaningless words I assume in order to perhaps irate cetain posters. Instead of voicing my opinion, which agrees with almost everyone that the chick in question has over stepped a fine line, while also agreeing with the others that OP is partially at fault here, and that maybe he should figure out what is going on with his marriage (not his LTR or his plate... his marriage). What, I can't have an opinion?

Give me a break, I really don't appreciate that.

Anyways, the legendary Cesare seems to have this one in the bag, and cordoncordon is on the same page, if he comes back. I will let the boys talk to the boys, since that seems to be more acceptable to certain egos or personalities.

Pushing the eject button.

Peaceout.

 

[cordoncordon]

For all we know the girl went over to her girlfriends all night and gabbed about it with her. We don't know. This whole story could have been made up to make him jealous. People say and do strange things when they are upset and in a relationship. I know whenever I have gotten into a fight with a gf, a major fight, the last thing I feel like doing is going out and fvcking some other chick. usually I want to hang out with friends or my brother or cousin and get their view on things.

And I've seen it many times where someone in a fight with a gf or bf leaves the house and doesn't call or stays out all night over at a buddies, all the while letting the significant other stew about what he/she is doing. It's all games and the stupid things people do.

The fact is we just don't know what happened that night, or how their relationship had been prior as far as how the Op was treating his wife. We are getting one side of the story. I'm sure if the wife was here she would be giving a different view of things. I'm not defending her actions because she acted very immaturely, but we have all been there (fight with a girl friend or wife) and for us to tell the guy he should divorce his wife over this is severely jumping the gun imo.

However, he should put her on watch no doubt.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Sorry man, but I don't agree with you. Nor do i think it's helpful to the original poster for us to say "she f*cked around" based on the tiny slice of info we have.

So it's more of a benefit for him to think they were writing poetry about her marriage? Come on, to delude himself into thinking she was being a good girl is naive.

Why didn't she go to a family member? I don't know what her values are or what her maturity level is. Maybe you would have gone to a family member, someone else would have gone to a bar. I still don't think we can judge her so harshly based on the info we have.

Her actions speak more than any amount of leftover nutbutter dribbling from her lips. She willingly went over and hung out with another man while her husband was home playing Pop.

This much is confirmed and is plenty more than we need to make a rational decision.

 

[ZenGodMod]

I thought i'd wait awhile before i'd reply.
I assumed correct.
The two schools of thought finally appear.
Those who say fix the sitaution its worth and those who say leave the situation its not worth it.
Both sides believing they are ultimately right and arguements have ensued.
Our goal is to help DJ_t find resolve. Not contest for the presidentancy of the debating club.
Let the facts stand, let us not assume beyond the facts.
Let us help him! We are grown men we should be able to understand eachother far better then this.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

So it's more of a benefit for him to think they were writing poetry about her marriage? Come on, to delude himself into thinking she was being a good girl is naive.

No, I think he should be realistic. You're taking it from one extreme (she's a total slut) to she's writing poetry about how great the marriage is. Both are not accurate.

Anways man, lets agree to disagree on this one.

 

[KarmaSutra]

No, I think he should be realistic. You're taking it from one extreme (she's a total slut) to she's writing poetry about how great the marriage is. Both are not accurate.

Anways man, lets agree to disagree on this one.

I don't know if she was doing reverse cowgirl in the butt with this idiot or not but the fact, the REALISTIC fact, is that she was out with a guy whom she had not been out prior to this incident.

That speaks volumes.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

actually she was out with a group of people including the guy and they all crashed out at his place.

 

[KarmaSutra]

actually she was out with a group of people including the guy and they all crashed out at his place.

Which, by Traveler's account, had never, ever happened before. Nor had she made mention of these so-called "friends" up until she has her fvcking hissy fit.

What does that say about her commitment to honesty and her integrity as a wife and mother?