Wife Dancing Solo Poll

[Mr_knowit_all]

Then I question the type of women you choose to go out with. Is it that you choose disrespectful women or is it that you forgo qualifying her until you "get to know her better?"

Could it be the age of the women who are disrespectful or is it the way that you treat women which causes them to disrespect you? There's something to be said about the type of filter you use to view women. Mine may be overly optimistic but you have to understand that I can't remember the last time that I actually spent any amount of time with women like the ones described here. I 'm willing to chalk it up to my own senility...

None the less, it may be my lack of concern of what a woman does when I'm not around. Is it over confidence, perhaps. But then again I trust my capability of spending time with women who don't do these types of things.

Those are some valid points. I tend to date women in the mid 20's to early 30's. So I don't think that's really an issue. Is it the way that I treat women? I don't think so. You and I are a like in many ways. You seem to be so confident that you don't have any issues as to what your girlfriend is doing when you're not around. I think I'm equally as confident, but I approach the issue differently.

If my wife told me that she wanted to go shopping with her girlfriends, and then go get a bite to eat, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But as somebody else mentioned, if she's telling me she's going to go "clubbing" with a group of her single friends, I'm going to have a problem with that.

My way of dealing with disrespectful behavior is to be open about it, and let her know I don't approve. If she continues with the behavior, the relationship WILL end. You seem to want to deal with it by not letting it bother you, and project strenght and confidence that way. Ultimately we probably accomplish the samething.

Either way, I wish you luck and look foreward to disagreeing with you some more

 

[wayword]

If my wife told me that she wanted to go shopping with her girlfriends, and then go get a bite to eat, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But as somebody else mentioned, if she's telling me she's going to go "clubbing" with a group of her single friends, I'm going to have a problem with that.

Ah, here's another crucial difference: are all her friends SINGLE or MARRIED?

If they're all SINGLE, then "GIRLS' NIGHT OUT" = "SLUTS' NIGHT OUT" for sure! :cheer:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What age women are you dating, and have they had any kids?

I go out with women spanning 10 years my junior to 10 years older. About 2out of 5 are childless. Why?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...If my wife told me that she wanted to go shopping with her girlfriends, and then go get a bite to eat, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But as somebody else mentioned, if she's telling me she's going to go "clubbing" with a group of her single friends, I'm going to have a problem with that....

We've all seen packs of women at clubs. How often are guys successful in picking one up? Think about it, what are the chances that Style or Mystery is at the same club (or me for that matter)?

My ex use would occasionally come home from the store and tell me about some guy was trying to flirt with her. I'd tell her anything from "I would too if I were single" to "You need to stop flirting with those (older/younger) guys." It would all depend on the situation.

The fact is, women will get hit on no matter where they are, a club, work, the grocery store, where ever and there's nothing you can do about it. If she sees value in you, she'll stick around. If she's happy in the relationship she will stay faithful.

What guys don't realize is that one of the greatest fears of women when they get into a relationship is loosing themselves. Restricting the things that they did in the past is one way of doing such a thing. If she's not dating some other guy, what harm will it do for her to go clubbing with the girls? Although it would be a problem if you never take her....

Interesting, isn't it?

 

[Breezy]

another question that i don't think has been posed... does she want to go solo because he won't go with her, and he says "i'm not going dancing, and you're not either" or does she just want some time alone.

time alone...i dunno tough call.

if he won't go with her, then she should be able to go by herself.

my $.02

 

[Weak_Game]

This is the exact same reason me and my girl just recently broke up over

at first she gave up her club/bar with her friends due to the "honey moon" period of our relationship... soon after that was over, we went out together on occasion. Im not much of a bar/club guy. I would go but id rather do other things with my time...

ALot of her friends are single and shes 24 still in that scene but almost out. I figure once shes out of school and has her career she ll tone down more then she has.

I put my foot down once and she loved it. She said no guy has every put his foot down and i must really care. 6 months later im "controlling" because im not "comfortable" with her going out with her friends to have a few drinks. She felt like she didnt know who she was, she felt like she was losing herself she felt like she had no freedom...

We broke up and now shes out, but shes single. Ive thought about it... i know its a meat market, i know guys go to game girls. But what are my options? She goes to work and guys hit on her, she goes to the gym guys hit on her. She goes to the bar/club guys hit on her. She goes to a party at a friends guys hit on her. Woman get hit on all the time. Dosent matter the setting.

The only problem i have is alcohol. But she dosent get trashed, she ll have a few drinks. Its not like shes getting sloppy drunk and coming home. Hell when we would go out, i would encourage her to drink because i was there. She was with me i felt comfortable being with her. And she would still only have a few. Even if i was buying.

So rethinking this going out. Yes girls are sluts, yes the bar scene is a meat market. But all her single friends go. Her single friends dont wanna shop, they wanna shop for dik.. Im almost thinking if your game is tight, she will be coming home to your dik. In fact for a few weeks i let her go out and she still came home to me.

Im at a cross roads with this. This is the sole reason we broke up. Is because i couldn't handle her going out with her firends without me. But at the same time, when she came with me and my friends out. It sucked cuz she was there. We couldn't be guys. I wasnt gaming girls, i was in a relationship. Maybe flirt but never take a number home and never bring one home.

Thoughts?

 

[wayword]

^ Frankly, she's not old enough to value a committed relationship yet if she still needs to go out to bars and at the very least attention-wh0re for more male sexual attention, much less anything more... That's called a FB - and if she wants a committed relationship with you, then she has to EARN IT. Remember, you and your commitment is THE PRIZE. I'm sure she can find many FBs out there, but a high-value one willing to commit? Well, here's where you have to prove your market value...

I go out with women spanning 10 years my junior to 10 years older. About 2out of 5 are childless. Why?

In other words, you're dating women aged ~30-50, over half already with kids.

Well, that is a faaaar cry from single, kidless women from say 18-25, of whom more of us tend to be dating.

There's already another thread on this, but most American girls don't start getting seriously monogamous until their mid/late 20s or their first kid...whichever comes first.

Now, you are dating them AFTER this GGW phase is already over, which is why you aren't encountering these same slutty behaviors.

 

[American_Psycho]

You guys have to realize that if your girl wants to cheat on you, she WILL do it. Telling her she can't go out dancing with her friends isn't going to change anything. She'll just be cheating on your after work, or when she goes "shopping", or when she's "getting her hair done".

On the other hand, if your girl intends to be faithful to you, she won't turn into a slut the second she steps foot into a bar or club.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

You guys have to realize that if your girl wants to cheat on you, she WILL do it. Telling her she can't go out dancing with her friends isn't going to change anything. She'll just be cheating on your after work, or when she goes "shopping", or when she's "getting her hair done".

On the other hand, if your girl intends to be faithful to you, she won't turn into a slut the second she steps foot into a bar or club.

I'm not advocating that you tell your girlfriend she can't do something. I'm saying you let her know that you think it's disrespectful, and if she continues doing it, she's out the door.

There's a big difference there. She still has free will to do as she wants. But you also have a choice as to whether you want to stay in that type of relationship.

It's been said many times on this site before. DON'T ENTER HER REALITY. A man must maintain control of a relationship if it's to succeed. When you let a woman pull you into her reality, the relationship is doomed to fail.

Now why is that? Well, think about it. If you're following her agenda, and letting her control the course of the relationship, sooner or later she won't respect you. As Ferris Bueller once said "You can't respect someone who kisses your ass"

Acting like it's OK for your girlfriend to do as she wants might make you look confident, but it may also make you like like a ball-less wuss. There have to be some boundaries in a relationship. If you give the OK for your girlfriend to go clubbing with her single friends, what's next? Do you give her the OK to sleep with other guys too? Because if you say something, you're acting insecure?

Being secure and confident are both very good things, but don't get carried away with it.

 

[macknetikcharm]

This should've been sorted out BEFORE they got married-- the girl's a damn freak and doesn't respect him 'cause he bought her a damn ring when he should've KNOWN she was a freak.

 

[wayword]

Doesn't this remind you of a girl trying to reform a bad boy into a nice guy (which NEVER works)...instead of just choosing a nice guy to begin with?

Look, you're in a Catch-22 - if you restrict her, she'll resent you and cheat on you. If you don't, she'll cheat on you with all that freedom. Reality is, she's still sowing her wild oats and the only thing that's gonna stop her is getting older or a kid - NOT any dude.

 

[Weak_Game]

my ex claimed she wants kids in 2 years to settle down live the fairy tale disney dream blah blah... that once she has a kid and or married she ll give it up for good... but whos gonna wanna settle down with a girl that goes out all the time, you think the second you put a ring on her finger thats it? that its an auto stop?

sucks im still at the same cross roads, its dammed if you do dammed if you dont, she will give it up for awhile then wanna go party like the rockstar she thinks she is... you cut off her freedom and shes gonna drop you, because your trying to "change her" and shes such a "free spirit" you let her go, and you risk having some dj pick her up in the field. Or you guys get into a fight the night she goes out and shes more inclined to cheat just to piss you off...

 

[JonJack]

Be very careful with suspicions. Too many here are overly suspicious of women's intentions when they party. Sure, it may be evident that a lot of girls go out to partay to hook up with some guy. Sure, it may be evident that a lot of girls with boyfriends fool around with other guys. Cause you've seen it. You've met these girls. Heck, you may have fooled around with them yourself. Their boyfriends are chumps man. But damn! You knew these type of girls and how they are like and you still went and got yourself hooked with one of them? Shyt! How dumb is that man?

If girls are truly party animals and WILL stray at meat markets, I find there's nothing to complain or gripe about. Unless of course you're not the one getting some action with these girls in meat markets. If you don't want a wife that goes to meat markets, then find one that doesn't enjoy meat markets. Find one that just likes to read or is involved in some charity work.

It seems so simple to just put your foot down. So easy just to tell her. I wonder how it'll feel when she's telling you that you are overly suspicious, have little faith in her, believe that she'll stray when she hasn't, are controlling and finally not worth her time and commitment?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Be very careful with suspicions. Too many here are overly suspicious of women's intentions when they party. Sure, it may be evident that a lot of girls go out to partay to hook up with some guy. Sure, it may be evident that a lot of girls with boyfriends fool around with other guys. Cause you've seen it. You've met these girls. Heck, you may have fooled around with them yourself. Their boyfriends are chumps man. But damn! You knew these type of girls and how they are like and you still went and got yourself hooked with one of them? Shyt! How dumb is that man?

If girls are truly party animals and WILL stray at meat markets, I find there's nothing to complain or gripe about. Unless of course you're not the one getting some action with these girls in meat markets. If you don't want a wife that goes to meat markets, then find one that doesn't enjoy meat markets. Find one that just likes to read or is involved in some charity work.

It seems so simple to just put your foot down. So easy just to tell her. I wonder how it'll feel when she's telling you that you are overly suspicious, have little faith in her, believe that she'll stray when she hasn't, are controlling and finally not worth her time and commitment?

Bravo!