Why would they act like this?

[The Comeback Kid]

Back when I was in high school, I was the definition of an AFC. I had no idea what I was doing, I was needy, desperate, too much of a "nice guy." I was also a scrawny 5-5, 120lb kid. I got along with a lot of the guys, but the girls in my year simply wouldn't talk to me. If I asked a girl out, I was rejected quite harshly. When I was named to homecoming royalty one year, the "princess" laughed and wouldn't dance with me. Some girls I asked to Senior Prom said they'd rather skip it than go with me.

When I began college, I wanted to improve myself, and it all started with hitting the gym. Three years later, I've added on over 40 lbs of muscle and now size up at 5-6, 165 lbs. My buddies half-jokingly say I'm on steroids - in reality, I don't take anything, not even a protein shake.

This summer, I switched gyms (nicer and cheaper). It turns out more people from my graduating class also go to this gym. During my time there so far, I've noticed an interesting trend. The guys who I know from high school come up to me, tell me I've really gotten bigger, and we catch up for a minute or so. When a girl from my high school year sees me at the gym, it's it's somewhat amusing, since it's usually the same series of events. The look of sheer horror encompasses their face, they do their treadmill/elliptical workout in record time, and get the he11 out of there (one girl saw me when she walked in, paused, and then literally "worked out" for 10 minutes)!

I like to work out - it makes me feel better about myself and it's something that has really changed my life for the better. I don't lift for any ego validation, even though I appreciate any compliments I receive. What I'm wondering in this case is...how bad was my rep in high school with these girls? Did they think I'd be a scrawny pushover for life? Are they stunned that I am not the "nice guy" I used to be and now have an edgy look in my eye? What do you guys think?

 

[Jitterbug]

I think you should put the past behind you and stop giving a flying fvck what those people you used to know in high school think of you - then or now.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I think you should put the past behind you and stop giving a flying fvck what those people you used to know in high school think of you - then or now.

I know your right on the whole, but I just think it's kind of weird. When I was in high school, I was lower than low in girls eyes. It was traumatizing back then. Every time I asked out a girl, they made a big scene and tried to humiliate me. When I tried talking to girls, they weren't themselves or they simply ran away. if I was walking with my friends, they'd say, "hey, what's up" to my friends and ignore me as if I weren't even there. It wasn't fun.

As you said Jitterbug, I shouldn't even be thinking about it, but it's something I noticed. Maybe it's the testosterone in me that I get from lifting, but when I even see them, my adrenaline level rises just because I remember what this girl (or her clique) put me through in high school.

 

[Son of anarchy]

If they feel disturber from you in their same gym,just follow each of them and go to work close to make sure they wont train well.
If they go away it will be a great satisfaction for you to have the power to ruin their training and kick them out of the gym,just like they ruined your fun at highschool.
And dont forget to scream while you lift heavy weights,looking a mad man it's even better for your purpose,just dont talk to them or get witness that say you didnt.
Even if they go to complain to the trainer,what they can say? that you are training legs close to them?

 

[londonzen]

Back when I was in high school, I was the definition of an AFC. I had no idea what I was doing, I was needy, desperate, too much of a "nice guy." I was also a scrawny 5-5, 120lb kid. I got along with a lot of the guys, but the girls in my year simply wouldn't talk to me. If I asked a girl out, I was rejected quite harshly. When I was named to homecoming royalty one year, the "princess" laughed and wouldn't dance with me. Some girls I asked to Senior Prom said they'd rather skip it than go with me.

When I began college, I wanted to improve myself, and it all started with hitting the gym. Three years later, I've added on over 40 lbs of muscle and now size up at 5-6, 165 lbs. My buddies half-jokingly say I'm on steroids - in reality, I don't take anything, not even a protein shake.

This summer, I switched gyms (nicer and cheaper). It turns out more people from my graduating class also go to this gym. During my time there so far, I've noticed an interesting trend. The guys who I know from high school come up to me, tell me I've really gotten bigger, and we catch up for a minute or so. When a girl from my high school year sees me at the gym, it's it's somewhat amusing, since it's usually the same series of events. The look of sheer horror encompasses their face, they do their treadmill/elliptical workout in record time, and get the he11 out of there (one girl saw me when she walked in, paused, and then literally "worked out" for 10 minutes)!

I like to work out - it makes me feel better about myself and it's something that has really changed my life for the better. I don't lift for any ego validation, even though I appreciate any compliments I receive. What I'm wondering in this case is...how bad was my rep in high school with these girls? Did they think I'd be a scrawny pushover for life? Are they stunned that I am not the "nice guy" I used to be and now have an edgy look in my eye? What do you guys think?

lol with your name and this story you sound like a proper nut lol throw a wait at the chicks head to rass lol

kidding

 

[slaog]

They remember you as the person you were before. Now that you have changed so much it must have literally shocked them.


Also the reason why they leave IMO is the atmostphere in the gym. They probably feel uncomfortable because they'd have to be nice to you or at least show you respect and maybe too they felt a bit ashamed about their own behaviour.


Don't let any of it bother you. Be nice to them and be cool, don't hold grudges or anything like that. And be comfortable with the situation too. If they see you as being uncomfortable then that spreads to them too (especially if they have weak personalities) and shows you as being an AFC.

 

[sodbuster]

Some of them are realizing they screwed up,enjoy it. BUT they will still have a hard time getting over your past or wanting to date you[ever try to change a womans mind?]F' em live your life as you want not for their sake or for revenge[look at me now-its justice,but it not fulfilling]

 

[Interceptor]

They still want to see you in this 'box'. They dont want you to grow.
If you change, it means their perceptions have to change. And they dont want that. It means they can be responsible in life, and they dont like that idea too much
Plus, they got a massive ego boost at your expense, and now seeing you as you are, you took away their ego validation.Now,they realize theyre not as 'cool' as they thought they were, and seeing you is something they cant handle, so they leave.They want to keep their inflated ego and validation.
Although, youre still kind of seeking it from them still. And your resentment is negative emotional attachment to this whole circumstance.You still want their approval and acceptance. At least it appears this way to me from your post. If true, then youre going to have to reflect and process this out of you. You dont want to carry that past into the present.
Dont get too over inflated over yourself too, CK. Watch yourself very closely.
Self improvement is self mastery, mastery over your dominion, including your Ego.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Thanks for the responses guys.

I see what you're saying Interceptor, and like you normally do, you make a good point, always keeping me in check lol. I wouldn't say I'm seeking approval or acceptance from them, however. I don't care if they like me. As I mentioned in earlier posts on this thread, these girls tried to torment me throughout high school.

It's been three years since then. Because I'm working out at a more local gym and because I will be hanging out at bars now (21 :rockon: ), I'm going to run into them. Seeing them is NOT going to make me vie for any acceptance or approval...instead it's going to unleash all the anger I suppressed for years during high school. This is what I need to watch out for.

Now going full circle to the rest of the posts, you're all right in that I can't let this anger get the best of me. I'm going to work on eliminating some of these memories when I do see them (it's tough though because I have a real good memory lol). I'll act as if nothing had ever happened - taking the high road and being the better man - and seeing where things go from there.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Women grow a new egg every month, and that egg dies every month. They can only get pregnant 3-5 days out of the month. They are entirely different specimens as us. They've got so many insecurities. Don't let a bag of insecurities bother you. Most of them are dunder-heads.

 

[slaog]

The best responce is to show them that they were wrong about you. To do this just concentrate on improving yourself.