Marlimus
Senior Don Juan
WHY WOMEN TEST MEN
By Marlimus
marlimus@hotmail.com
Most if not all of the articles on this subject merely focus on one or two reasons why women test men, thus they do not give the whole picture, and the underlying insight into the female mind. The general gist of most articles is that she’s just checking to make sure that the guy is not a needy loser. That’s true, but its only a part of the whole.
The reasons are as follows:
1) Defense Mechanism
Do you know what is the single most common piece of advice that women give each other?
“Don’t make yourself too available.”
If all the tests and games that women play could be represented as a pyramid, with each level depending on the one below it, (something like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) then this phrase would form the base of the pyramid. All female tricks rest on this fundamental principle, and I’ll tell you why.
One of the greatest fears that a woman has is that she will give her heart to a man too easily, and that he will take her for granted and break her heart. For a woman, this experience is one of the most devastating things that she can suffer, the pain of which is comparable only with childbirth. Women confuse men, feign disinterest and act evasive at times so as to try to communicate to men that they cannot be taken for granted. They are protecting themselves, because emotionally, they are weaker than us. The conclusion that women are emotionally weaker than us deserves an article by itself, but here is not the place to discuss that…
2) Screening Process
As any good article will tell you, women are attracted to men who are a challenge and are disinterested in men who they think like them too much, or who are needy. I’m not going to go into this, because it is over-preached. You’ve probably heard that part a zillion times before.
Women test men to find out what category a man fits in. If a woman cancels on a man, and she likes him, she may tell him that she is very sorry and that she will call him and make it up to him. Then, instead of calling, she sits back and waits to see what he will do. If he calls within three days to either set up another date or to ask why she didn’t call, or if he calls at all within three days for any reason, he has failed. If he calls after three days, he’s barely passed, it is up to her discretion. If he simply refuses to call until she contacts him, then he has aced the test with flying colors. The idea is that the needy guy is insecure and needs assurance, so he calls too soon. The average guy calls after three days, he’s neither here nor there. The real man knows that the ball is in her court, is confident in himself, and refuses to budge.
3) Ego inflation
Some women are addicted to attention, the most addictive kind being the male, flattering variety. This is where a woman plays head games with a man in order to keep him chasing after her to boost her ego. Nearly all women know the age-old trick of changing the amounts of attention that a man is given, it is literally the oldest in the book. What she will do, basically, is pretend she likes a guy only as a friend one minute, then the next, flirt with him. Or, she will give a guy a friendly, flirty greeting one day, then give him a slight nod the next. This drives the average guy crazy, causing him to chase her. When a woman acts friendly, then cool, the guy thinks that he might be losing her, so he tries to reel her in by being extra nice, giving gifts and so on. This is how the attention junkie gets her fix. It does not mean that she is a *****. This is just how some women are, and it is the man’s responsibility to not fall into this trap.
THE ABANDONMENT COMPLEX
I’m going to dive straight into this. Be extremely careful when dealing with a woman who grew up in a family where the father walked out at a tender age. The road to her heart, or to her pants, depending on your goal, is like an emotional minefield.
At an early age, the father, the dominant male figure in the house, is symbolic of his gender. Abandonment creates issues of guilt in the child, and does a number on the girl’s ability to trust men and her unconscious opinion of men on the whole. If the mother shields the girl from the full impact of the blow by not being bitter and by being careful not to tarnish the father image, or if the girl simply gets over it, it is okay. But if the mother became bitter, then that tends to pass on to the daughter.
The daughter, in turn, later goes on to test men rigorously, trying to make them jump through burning hoops before she lets down her guard. However, she is not necessarily attracted to the men who put up with her bull**** and stick to her even though she blows hot one minute, and cold air he next. Women who have this problem have serious baggage, and you have to decide if she is worth it.
If you decide that she is, you have to walk a tightrope. Your behavior should subtly convey that you won’t hurt her, but don’t jump through her hoops. Never be more than 5 minutes late for a date, and if you say you will call at a certain time, call at exactly that time, but if she’s late don’t wait for her, and when she’s acting cold, show her you are the man by simply leaving her be and not tolerating her mood swings. In other words, you have to still be a challenge, but be trustworthy. It’s a delicate balance, and few can master it.
Gentlemen, this is partly from personal experience with such women. When you are talking to a girl and she tells you that her father walked out when she was little, proceed with extreme caution.
By Marlimus
marlimus@hotmail.com
Most if not all of the articles on this subject merely focus on one or two reasons why women test men, thus they do not give the whole picture, and the underlying insight into the female mind. The general gist of most articles is that she’s just checking to make sure that the guy is not a needy loser. That’s true, but its only a part of the whole.
The reasons are as follows:
1) Defense Mechanism
Do you know what is the single most common piece of advice that women give each other?
“Don’t make yourself too available.”
If all the tests and games that women play could be represented as a pyramid, with each level depending on the one below it, (something like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) then this phrase would form the base of the pyramid. All female tricks rest on this fundamental principle, and I’ll tell you why.
One of the greatest fears that a woman has is that she will give her heart to a man too easily, and that he will take her for granted and break her heart. For a woman, this experience is one of the most devastating things that she can suffer, the pain of which is comparable only with childbirth. Women confuse men, feign disinterest and act evasive at times so as to try to communicate to men that they cannot be taken for granted. They are protecting themselves, because emotionally, they are weaker than us. The conclusion that women are emotionally weaker than us deserves an article by itself, but here is not the place to discuss that…
2) Screening Process
As any good article will tell you, women are attracted to men who are a challenge and are disinterested in men who they think like them too much, or who are needy. I’m not going to go into this, because it is over-preached. You’ve probably heard that part a zillion times before.
Women test men to find out what category a man fits in. If a woman cancels on a man, and she likes him, she may tell him that she is very sorry and that she will call him and make it up to him. Then, instead of calling, she sits back and waits to see what he will do. If he calls within three days to either set up another date or to ask why she didn’t call, or if he calls at all within three days for any reason, he has failed. If he calls after three days, he’s barely passed, it is up to her discretion. If he simply refuses to call until she contacts him, then he has aced the test with flying colors. The idea is that the needy guy is insecure and needs assurance, so he calls too soon. The average guy calls after three days, he’s neither here nor there. The real man knows that the ball is in her court, is confident in himself, and refuses to budge.
3) Ego inflation
Some women are addicted to attention, the most addictive kind being the male, flattering variety. This is where a woman plays head games with a man in order to keep him chasing after her to boost her ego. Nearly all women know the age-old trick of changing the amounts of attention that a man is given, it is literally the oldest in the book. What she will do, basically, is pretend she likes a guy only as a friend one minute, then the next, flirt with him. Or, she will give a guy a friendly, flirty greeting one day, then give him a slight nod the next. This drives the average guy crazy, causing him to chase her. When a woman acts friendly, then cool, the guy thinks that he might be losing her, so he tries to reel her in by being extra nice, giving gifts and so on. This is how the attention junkie gets her fix. It does not mean that she is a *****. This is just how some women are, and it is the man’s responsibility to not fall into this trap.
THE ABANDONMENT COMPLEX
I’m going to dive straight into this. Be extremely careful when dealing with a woman who grew up in a family where the father walked out at a tender age. The road to her heart, or to her pants, depending on your goal, is like an emotional minefield.
At an early age, the father, the dominant male figure in the house, is symbolic of his gender. Abandonment creates issues of guilt in the child, and does a number on the girl’s ability to trust men and her unconscious opinion of men on the whole. If the mother shields the girl from the full impact of the blow by not being bitter and by being careful not to tarnish the father image, or if the girl simply gets over it, it is okay. But if the mother became bitter, then that tends to pass on to the daughter.
The daughter, in turn, later goes on to test men rigorously, trying to make them jump through burning hoops before she lets down her guard. However, she is not necessarily attracted to the men who put up with her bull**** and stick to her even though she blows hot one minute, and cold air he next. Women who have this problem have serious baggage, and you have to decide if she is worth it.
If you decide that she is, you have to walk a tightrope. Your behavior should subtly convey that you won’t hurt her, but don’t jump through her hoops. Never be more than 5 minutes late for a date, and if you say you will call at a certain time, call at exactly that time, but if she’s late don’t wait for her, and when she’s acting cold, show her you are the man by simply leaving her be and not tolerating her mood swings. In other words, you have to still be a challenge, but be trustworthy. It’s a delicate balance, and few can master it.
Gentlemen, this is partly from personal experience with such women. When you are talking to a girl and she tells you that her father walked out when she was little, proceed with extreme caution.
