Why women don't fall for nice guys

[tobby]

I think women WANT guys who are kind and who treat them well (unless they are insecure, and you don't want those girls anyway). But what they NEED in ADDITION to that is a guy who can indeed just be himself... meaning he says and does what he wants, he goes after what he wants, he is a GENUINE person, he has the ability to affect positive change in his life, and on top of that, he enjoys the company of the girl he's with to the extent that she treats him as well as he treats himself AND others.

Whoever said this got it right on the head. A women wants a "nice guy" as someone that's going to treat them well, but is still genuine. However, a woman still wants a guy that's masculine. They want a guy that leads, is confident, and isn't afraid to exert his sexuality. My sisters are always friends with the "nice guys", but they said it: "they'll never make a move on me, so I can trust them". Yes, they trust these guys, and they may even "marry them/ attach themselves to them if they're are successful, but they're not attracted to them.

Most, if not all girls have to be attracted to you to stay with you. They're not logical and aren't going to think things through. They FEEL stuff first and justify it with logic later. Guys have to know this. We must make women feel attraction for us. You can't logically act "NICE"/supplicate to them and think that they'll understand why you're doing it. They just see your supplication as weak and how it makes them feel bored/safe with you.

Guys there are 1% of women out there that think with logic and not emotions first. This is the crap that we get in movies that makes us believe that the nice guy can still end up with that "good girl". It's not real people! You can wait on that stuff, but 99% of women aren't like that. You need to figure out how to attract/date the 99% of the women that are emotional instead of hoping that 1 out of the 1% of women that are logical is pretty enough to meet your standards and is attracted to you at the same time.

 

[nicenomore]

"nice guys" are not confident about themselves.. they are not risk takers... they seek approval of people ; and of girls in particular. They always think a girl will think of what they are doing in a wrong way... and hence always cautious at every step....

 

[Bonhomme]

The people who get labeled as "nice guys" are usually not confident about themselves.. they are not risk takers... they seek approval of people ; and of girls in particular...

If the guy does have confidence, self-respect, etc. and is nice as well, they usually refer to him in different terms ("sexy," "hot," "mensch," etc.).

 

[comic_relief]

I know that from a senior member of sosuave that this is an embarrassing question, but I forgot what supplication exactly is. Could someone refresh my memory on what it is exactly?

The problem with being a nice guy is that women (sometimes they are attracted to the nice guy in the beginning, but without a move being made) will not usually date them, so they become either latched on or bitter.

Story time: My girlfriend has been friends with this one "nice guy" for almost six years and has been dying to go out with my girlfriend. He was her emotional tampon, "friend," and what all the nice guys do for those six years. Than in the last month and a half, he changed to a jerk because according to him, "being a nice guy didn't get me anywhere."

Now he dropped my girlfriend from his life (as far as I can tell) and won't even speak to her.

All he really had to do was make a move on girls and he could have got them. He was more like a DJ than many people on this forum, but the only two problems that I saw was that he didn't make a move and had a jealousy problem that he would have to deal with.

Moral: The nice guy illuminated by this story was fake and insecure. His "friendship" was based on a set of lies with an underlying problem. For a real friendship to evolved neither party can be wanting anything from the person except to hang out with them. That is the problem with nice guys. They think that they can be friends with them in order to get with women. Usually doesn't work.

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One last note of interest, that is the nice guy, but the type of guy that women want is the guy that is a nice guy, but will also be a highly sexualized being. It is the mix of the jerk and the nice guy together. Most people cannot do that, but those that do have the women (and the world together).

That is why I advocate working on yourself until you are the man of your dreams and then you will attract the women of yours.

comic_relief

 

[comic_relief]

If the guy does have confidence, self-respect, etc. and is nice as well, they usually refer to him in different terms ("sexy," "hot," "mensch," etc.).

That is why my girlfriend keeps calling me "sexy."

thanks.

comic_relief

 

[Bible_Belt]

but I forgot what supplication exactly is. Could someone refresh my memory on what it is exactly?

Basically it means putting yourself down, acting like you are not worthy of the girl.

The Latin root is supplicare, which means 'to plead humbly.'

 

[comic_relief]

but I forgot what supplication exactly is. Could someone refresh my memory on what it is exactly?

Basically it means putting yourself down, acting like you are not worthy of the girl.

The Latin root is supplicare, which means 'to plead humbly.'

thanks bible_belt,

yeah the reason that I didn't know the meaning of it was because I DON'T do it and if someone doesn't do it then they would not know the word or the meaning.

I'm amazed at what guys will do to try and get a girl. People try way to hard.

comic_relief

 

[rembrandt]

I thought this article made a good point about why being a nice guy doesn't work. The thinking is basically if you wouldn't do something for a guy equivalent, then you shouldn't do it for the girl.

Like, lets say youre at a bar. Would you offer to buy some random dude that you don't even know a beer? If the answer is no, then don't do it for the girl.

http://www.pickupnyc.com/articles/niceguy.pdf

 

[reset]

I see supplicating like a small dog, on it's hind legs, scratching at you while wagging it's tail, becuause it knows you have a treat in your hand... so for fun you say "sit!" or "roll over!" or "High five!"... and it does all that, so you hold the treat closer to the dog and it's slobbering, then you pretend to throw it across the room and it goes chasing the phantom treat, sees it's not there, gets confused for a moment, then comes back, repeat.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

honestly, most nice guys are just not blessed with the right looks to be considered hot, so they try to compensate by trying to guilt women into liking them through being "nice". Honestly, if you're ugly, you're probably better off being nice. An ugly, or especially a really short guy will just get laughed at if he acts like "the prize"

If you're decent looking, then yeah, being a "nice guy" probably isn't ideal. Still, my good looking nice guy friends have no trouble getting into relationships.

It's not as simple as looks which is constantly being used as a scape goat notion in this forum. Guys put way too much weight on looks to deffer from the notion that they are socially lacking. Instead of admitting that they have yet to find out how to use their personality (or create a personality for that nature), they blame it on something they are born with (or without). It must suck to be them.

Here, take a look at this. This guy is at least above average looking to most women and he just can't get things into gear.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7963266746772297757&q=confession+of+a+matchmaker&total=89&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2

 

[azanon]

If you're decent looking, then yeah, being a "nice guy" probably isn't ideal. Still, my good looking nice guy friends have no trouble getting into relationships.

Your good-lookin', nice guy friends, could do that much better if they learn how to be DJ. I speak from experience.

 

[knglerxt]

It's not as simple as looks which is constantly being used as a scape goat notion in this forum. Guys put way too much weight on looks to deffer from the notion that they are socially lacking. Instead of admitting that they have yet to find out how to use their personality (or create a personality for that nature), they blame it on something they are born with (or without). It must suck to be them.

Here, take a look at this. This guy is at least above average looking to most women and he just can't get things into gear.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7963266746772297757&q=confession+of+a+matchmaker&total=89&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2

I realize being a 41 year old virgin is rare, but that matchmaker woman was being a *itch about it. If I were that guy, I would've had a few words with her.

 

[Nighthawk]

If you were that guy you would take it all and never say shit. Also you would be gay.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I realize being a 41 year old virgin is rare, but that matchmaker woman was being a *itch about it. If I were that guy, I would've had a few words with her.

How come? Because she suspects that the guy may be person which he's not aware of? Actually, I feel that she came off with more tact and genuine concern than a lot of guys in this forum.

 

[Omen]

I've been to 1st 2nd and 3rd base..... DUDE YOUR 41.

Now the guy MIGHT be gay.

 

[knglerxt]

How come? Because she suspects that the guy may be person which he's not aware of? Actually, I feel that she came off with more tact and genuine concern than a lot of guys in this forum.

She had a really condescending tone in her voice. When he says he's a virgin, she says, "Wowwww." The woman he went on a date with was kind of *itchy too.

It really pisses me off when people act like that when they find out someone is an older virgin. I guess the reason is that I'm 25 and still a virgin. A girl asked me that one time on the phone, and when I told her she started laughing. She said she didn't mean anything by it, but I totally cut her off after that. I haven't talked to her since. I don't tolerate disrespect.

 

[Bible_Belt]

so gay

 

[DJDamage]

Nice Guys are Asexual.

That 41 years old looked like a man but when it comes to acting like one, he acted like an 11 year old confused boy. If this guy would have found this site 7 years ago he would haved pulled mad tail. He's got the looks but no confidence what so ever.

By the way the matchmaker was an old cvnt who is doing this for money and entertainment purposes. At 41 this guy needs proffessional help and not being told that he is gay and hopeless and therefore he should go with dudes.

 

[The Juan and only]

^wow, maybe this site really is B.S. A lot of stuff here is silly modern folk lore.

That guy is GAY. Like, super Village People gay. He has clearly had plenty of opportunities. He is gay by birth, and unwilling to accept it till the show.

I don't buy it. He's just shy, the dating expert is a pushy b*tch, and he obviously doesn't know what he wants. A more down to earth woman would put him on the right track.

plus, it looks fvcking fake to me anyway.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't buy it. He's just shy, the dating expert is a pushy b*tch, and he obviously doesn't know what he wants. A more down to earth woman would put him on the right track.

plus, it looks fvcking fake to me anyway.

I don't know, she didn't make him go out with a gay guy. She asked, he thought about it for a moment and agreed! If he isn't gay he's desperate. I guess he's not desperate enough to do chubbies...