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Why Women Don't Enjoy Being Cold Approached

jerrycalahan

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I know plenty of average and below average looking guys who have plenty of confidence. It doesn't help them in their dating lives. I'm only finding that high status and/or good looking men are consistently successful in dating.
 

Mike32ct

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They liked being approached more back when there weren't that many ways to meet guys. Now they don't need it at all.
Also, before smartphones, you could have women who weren’t necessarily attracted to you but still happy to chat with you at bars and clubs. Sometimes they were just bored and happy to have some conversation. On a slower night, they would enjoy being cold approached as long as you weren’t creepy about it.

Today, if the women aren’t talking to each other in their group, they are smartphoning. So they don’t get “bored” anymore.

Now, they will NOT talk to you unless their is some decent attraction and/or you have a solid social circle “in” with them.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I know plenty of average and below average looking guys who have plenty of confidence. It doesn't help them in their dating lives. I'm only finding that high status and/or good looking men are consistently successful in dating.
Yep, status can have a "ugly" face and still get it done. Females be loving those invisible structures and pyramids.
 

biggoal

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Also, before smartphones, you could have women who weren’t necessarily attracted to you but still happy to chat with you at bars and clubs. Sometimes they were just bored and happy to have some conversation. On a slower night, they would enjoy being cold approached as long as you weren’t creepy about it.

Today, if the women aren’t talking to each other in their group, they are smartphoning. So they don’t get “bored” anymore.

Now, they will NOT talk to you unless their is some decent attraction and/or you have a solid social circle “in” with them.
The fun part is when those young HBs are glued to their phone to the point they literally physically run into you because they're not watching where they're walking.
 

MatureDJ

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The men who are most likely to be cold approaching are either seeking a short term relationship or are lower status men who are cold approaching randomly due to a lack of options within their social circles or because they don't have a social circle.
Or maybe the gals in their circle are so big, not many can fit. :mad:
 

MatureDJ

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Cold approach is older than pua. It's a few hundred years old if not eternally old. Never develop a theory based on the Bay area.
I'd like to read a PUA manual written in Latin during that era. :rolleyes:
 

RangerMIke

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I know plenty of average and below average looking guys who have plenty of confidence. It doesn't help them in their dating lives. I'm only finding that high status and/or good looking men are consistently successful in dating.
I suppose it all depends on what someone considers 'successful dating'.

In my opinion 'success' really is how well you do with women who are attracted to you, and who are available. A confident average looking guy is going to do okay with average women, as long as he doesn't fvck it up. But if an average to below average dude sees success with super models, who have a top 10% man as a BF, who she just started dating, as a benchmark, then he isn't going to be happy.

Not saying men should lower their standards, or go for less than what they want, but understand if you are looking for a super hot woman in her mid-20s who makes decent money, and has her sh!t together. You better be busting you butt and checking some of her attraction boxes or you are not even in the game.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Hell yea, them trying to hook you up with women, toss one of their old flings your way, or bang a chick together with you is one of the biggest signs. I guess it makes sense, because most straight guys aren't interested in sharing women. I've experienced the drinks thing too, and they'll buy you food. You think someone is just being a genuine real friend and then you have to start ignoring calls and texts...You're the only person I've ever seen understand this
Most guys won't share woman. But he might be straight and a great friend of yours and it don't matter to him.
 

Hal9000

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Its like most things. Women dont mind cold approaches, inappropriate jokes, lousy social skills, narcissism, or just about anything else they supposedly hate if the guy perpetrating the offense is noticeably better looking than they are.
 

bat soup

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I had an odd experience the other day. I walked by a temp agency and they had a list of jobs that needed to be filled listed on the window. I was interested in perhaps landing a part time gig on the weekend so I took a look, then moved on. It was past 5, and the door wasn't open so I just assumed they were closed.

I hadn't walked 15 feet when someone began running after me. I thought maybe I had dropped something. It turns out someone had been manning the office and had seen me reading the flier. He began talking my ear off and out of politeness, I heard him out. He said he was a new employee of the agency and they had tons of openings. I was trying to be polite since I assumed I would have future contact with him and he might help me land a part time job in the future.

He invited me in to fill out some information. I filled out a bit of basic info in the office, but he was starting to talk my ear off again and I was pretty eager to leave, but still feeling like I should be polite since he seemed to have an "in." I reached for the door at this point, but he would not shut up. I had to finally cut off the conversation saying I had to leave (I did).

Initially, I was glad he came out to greet me (lucky day for me that an employee was actually in). But then later in the day I realized he was gay and everything he was saying was sort of a filibuster to keep me around to see how long I'd hang out with him. Yeah, once in the office, he tried to get more of a time commitment out of me, offering me certain conveniences to make my day a little easier. He also invited me out to coffee, dropping a minor compliment in the process.

But really what gave it away was that he asked about my job background then he eyed me up and down and then stared at me crotch level and said "I bet you can do a lot of things." Super creepy but otherwise he disguised his intentions fairly well. I didn't mind chatting with him briefly, but he did a good job of using a part time job as bait to occupy my time and try to entice me into God knows what.

This is the fundamental problem with cold approach. it's a matter of trust. Guys complain about how difficult "closing" a cold approach is, how women are bitches or have a bitchshield, or they hate men or whatever, but they don't ever think what it's like to be on the receiving end. You have no idea who you're talking to in a cold approach. The dude could literally be a serial killer or wack job or a socially awkward clumsy oaf who doesn't know when to end a conversation.

Add to that, the guys who are most likely cold approaching are those who don't have a social circle. Guys who aren't part of a social circles are generally speaking (not always) guys who have below average social skills. So take heart. If a woman rejects you, or seems not so interested in talking during a cold approach, maybe it's not you per se (sometimes it is), maybe she's just uncomfortable speaking to a man she's never met and is concerned about her safety and well being. In other words, be a little bit empathetic when cold approaching.
If you've walked down a street in some touristic place with lots of restaurants where you can't get 2 metres without someone hassling you and wanting to show you their menu I think you get an idea how it must feel. I really hate that. The worst thing is that some of these people start to get aggressive and angry if you don't stop and listen to their pitch and look that their menu full of overpriced bad food. On the other hand, if the person holding the menu was an exceptionally attractive girl maybe you'd be happy to listen to them talk.
 

SW15

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Also, before smartphones, you could have women who weren’t necessarily attracted to you but still happy to chat with you at bars and clubs. Sometimes they were just bored and happy to have some conversation. On a slower night, they would enjoy being cold approached as long as you weren’t creepy about it.

Today, if the women aren’t talking to each other in their group, they are smartphoning. So they don’t get “bored” anymore.

Now, they will NOT talk to you unless their is some decent attraction and/or you have a solid social circle “in” with them.
This is accurate. Sometimes I'll stop a woman walking on the street, or at the grocery store, and the conversation barely goes anywhere. Maybe they are in a relationship, maybe not. A lot of times they aren't incentivized to talk.

Its like most things. Women dont mind cold approaches, inappropriate jokes, lousy social skills, narcissism, or just about anything else they supposedly hate if the guy perpetrating the offense is noticeably better looking than they are.
Yes!
 
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