Why the need to contact you months later?

[st_99]

I get this often.

I'll have a fling with a girl, perhaps I wanted to keep seeing her but she didn't or maybe we had some kind of fall out or maybe the chick just hopped to another plate of hers or whatever..

Then months later I'll get a phone call, text, email or whatever just saying "hi"

I don't get it, what do they want? It never seems to fail.

I mean I think I get it, but would like others opinions.

 

[Slickster]

This is easy.

Her IL was high once but something happened to change that.

She checks in later on when there is a lull in her attention receiving.

She needs the validation that guys still want her.

It's stupid and you can complain all you want but that is how women operate.

This is why I always preach negatively about nexting. Nexting is for guys who have their ego's hurt and need to put a flakey chick out of their mind to avoid the pain. It's not the trait of a real Don Juan.

Once you experience enough women you begin to learn that flakes mean nothing. You never "next" a girl. You just put her at the bottom of the list for later. So many times they come back around at a later date. If you played things cool in the past you can really have great success. This is how you build a harem.

When she contacts you again out of the blue treat it as you just talked to her yesterday. However, forget any mistakes you may have made previously. She has, and you should start fresh.

 

[betheman]

shirley its a sign of continued or renewed interest? and yes maybe the attention feed has dried up? however if she contacts you there may be a chance to empty your balls so run with it, just dont get involved

 

[Falcon25]

They always come back. Sometimes to see if they still got you hooked, very rarely because they know they fuvked up. But, they always come back.

 

[Falcon25]

Oh, and slickster is right. Just put them away in a dark place in your heart and your phone. They will come back.

 

[Boilermaker]

but more importantly .... what do you do when she re-initiates contact?...

If you validate her immediately; that's giving her treat right away.

Do you reply back?

Do you act cold?

What if you are still interested ?

Sometimes being too hard makes us DJ's somewhat brittle, so I am curious about your strategy here..

But a mere "hi" or a "happy new year" text MAY not mean anything by itself, iMO.

 

[jophil28]

Then months later I'll get a phone call, text, email or whatever just saying "hi"

I don't get it, what do they want?

THis question has been answered at length and in detail in numerous threads here.

Suffice to say that whatever her agenda, it is not in your long term interests to allow yourself to be drawn into it.
I have never known even one reconciliation that turned out well. It may happen in the movies, but in real life - I doubt it.
None of my attempts did. I have had three ex's reappoach me after many years apart, and even though I banged two of them again for a while, they really only wanted their bruised egos repaired from convincing themselves that they could get me back.


Proceed at your own peril.