why should i pay-we hardly now each other-not even a date

[billy_bronx]

if you can't afford it dont do it...

 

[ready123]

you guys should be having enough fun that money's the least of your concerns. the check should be an afterthough, not a litmus test. if both of you are having fun, naturally, nobody's gonna care who's paying

if you're ballin on a budget, there's nothign wrong w/ cheap dates. point of a date is for you two to get to know each other, dinner and all that is secondary. take her to the beach, the park, tennis, hiking, it's all good

 

[Centaurion]

I've gone out for coffee with girls from my uni countless times, and I have NEVER paid for their coffee. It's not like it's a date or something. It's usually 'hey, let's grab some coffee' and nothing more than that. But maybe going dutch is the norm where I live.

 

[KarmaSutra]

First, learn how to spell. Unless you're 25 making up for dropping out of grade 7, you should know how to write properly.

Amen brother!

Second, if you can't figure out if a girl likes you, you have bigger problems than paying for a date.

Also spot on.

Third, if it's that big a deal, suggest she pays for herself.

Unless it's a cup of coffee and a bagel, DO NOT PAY FOR HER TO EAT OR DRINK. This does two detrimental things:

1. It gives her the perception that she OWES you. No matter what happens, as soon as you pay money for her attention you inevitably allow her to think she becomes indebted to you, usually for sex.

2. Don't suggest that she do anything. You make the decision by paying for yourself. If you suggest something it sends a subliminal message to her that you don't have the balls to make a decision or have a stance on your point of view.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

LOL. Cuz her girlfriends aren't trying to get in her pants.

Just saying.

So what's the exchange rate? Is it just a cup of coffee to get into her pants or is it dinner? Does the dinner need to be with a tablecloth or can it consist of some type of breaded meat nugget in a bag?

Just saying...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

sure its adds up. if u don;t make much , and doesn;t work out what happens u loose all ur money

20 here, 15, 25, 45, it all adds up i ain't rich. what does she give back in return, i went with girls for 2 months and go no sex either did i pressure em-we both live at home. school is $. why should i pay all time , i more into cheap activies like coffee, tennis, hiking, seeing bands play, ...etc anymore lol


i going start acting and looking like this guy, he seems playerish, and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C_RpdaGqa8

Damn skippy it adds up. There was a time that I was spending around $500 a month dating. Think about it, $6000 a year just for dinner and conversation with a bunch of people that you figure out after an hour that you don't want to see them again?

C'mon, is it the guys who don't date often who's saying that the guy should pay? Ever consider if you're going out two or three days a week at $50 or more a pop? Think about it, that's a car payment or even a months rent for most guys.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I've gone out for coffee with girls from my uni countless times, and I have NEVER paid for their coffee. It's not like it's a date or something. It's usually 'hey, let's grab some coffee' and nothing more than that. But maybe going dutch is the norm where I live.

:yes: I have no problem doing this. The purpose is to hang out and enjoy one anothers company, not necessarily to get a free meal or drink. Guy's use buying a woman something as an enticement for the woman to spend time with them but they just won't admit it.

 

[Rhizzle]

I think you should pay, but only because you seem to not know how to spell the word "know".

 

[Mad Manic]

The general rule is that whoever does the asking does the paying.

Wow don't beat around the bush now, you might as well just say it's the guy who has to pay since 99.9% of the time it's him who has to pull the strings for a girl to even turn up.

 

[mrRuckus]

The general rule is that whoever does the asking does the paying, especially at the beginning.

This rule is outright dumb since guys nearly always do the asking and women sure don't observe it since they still look at you to pay even if they asked you.

One girl i have sex with with a clear understanding that we're not dating or anything like that even if we go get some food used look at me to pay. WTF is that? She's a prostitute and needs paid to keep sexing me? Anyway now when she is lonely and wants food and/or sex and i say no at first she'll come back with "i'll pay" and suddenly that's a whole different story.

I don't pay unless i've been seeing her a while or it's just some quick cheapo thing.. or just some sort of unspoken established quid pro quo thing going where she'll just pay for something later. I have plenty of disposable income, but there's a reason why i have that money: i'm not retarded with it handing it out to every girl that wants to hang out.

As far as women "nexting" you because you don't pay. I've never seen this happen. I'm not Mr. Awesomo by any stretch, but i establish enough that i'm worthwhile that they don't care. In fact most of the time they're pulling out their half of the money before it even becomes an issue, so unless you're dating some old women or trash with lack of critical thought processes, i'm seeing the expectation of men paying slowly dying off save for the sucker men who try to keep it alive by being invertebrae.

"I've decided i'm not attracted to you because you didn't pay for me." - yeah right. Whatever happened to attraction isn't a choice? If 90% of women are claiming they won't see a guy who won't pay then 88% are lying.

The girl i mentioned above txted me the other day she was out with her "cuddle b1tch" making him pay for lunch. Why a guy consistently pays for a female friend he's had for years, has never sexed, and will never sex, i'll never understand.

 

[Mad Manic]

"I've decided i'm not attracted to you because you didn't pay for me." - yeah right. Whatever happened to attraction isn't a choice? If 90% of women are claiming they won't see a guy who won't pay then 88% are lying.

I disagree. An attractive or even average woman has lots of options usually or at least more than one. She may be attracted to a given person who doesn't pay for her, but she may next him if there's another guy she's attracted to that will pay. You could be tall, good looking, built, cool and she thinks you're great; if there's another similar guy trying to get her and he's willing to do x, y, z on top you probably will get nexted.

You could argue "well have better game than him / hit the gym hard for 2 years / be the prize" etc but that's much easier said than done and other guys in competition can do the same thing, nevermind lots of variables out of your hand. One of her friends may not like you that much but like the other guy, and she pushes her mate to go for the other guy etc.

MM

 

[The_Winger.]

Number close her first,otherwise your paying for nothing...

 

[iqqi]

Sorry but its true, fellas.

-----------NOT MY OPINION! JUST what I see and observe as a woman------

Most of my girlfriends would be (and have been in past experiences) less attracted to a man who comes across as cheap... which is how you will come across. If you are cheap... how generous will you be in bed? If you are inconsiderate, how will that translate in terms of how you treat us in the future? Get where I'm going?

It is just a ritual that is expected, kind of like how it is expected for the man to pursue, and the woman to entice. Its one of the things about men and women. The ones of you who are constantly spouting off about how "man is the stronger sex" should understand some of the other implications, when dealing with the "fairer sex".

Besides, it is also a known and scientifically proven ;-) fact that men want bootie. Women know this. Women make men prove themselves worthy.

Don't get mad at me for saying it, its the way it IS.

Is there alternatives? Yeah. Is this the only way? Of course not. Are there women who won't think less of you? Sure. Really... there are...

 

[Rata Blanca]

If you ask, you pay, if she asks, she pays.

Haha thats a Chicks logic

Rata: who should pay on a date?
Girl: whoever asks out the other person
Rata: do you ever ask guys out?
Girl: ...

The general rule is, you pay if you feel like it.

However I usually don't pay on first dates, I mean she is having fun with ME, not my money
How can you know that she is going out with you, just because she is bored and you are paying?
Plus you should go to places where you would have fun by yourself.

You can keep telling yourself all that stuff about "i'm the catch blah blah" or whatever, but in the end, it's the other person who takes time out of their schedule to go out with you, and vice versa.

thought if she wants to pay for it, by all means

Well if it's such a hassle for the other person to give you some of their time they should simply say NO.

 

[aliasguy]

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Yeah, you're RIGHT, Iqqi, for MOST guys......


But Although i PAY almost every time, when I CHOOSE not to, or I TELL a girl to pay, she almost always DOES (Maybe I oughtta do that MORE)


And it seems to me that i get MORE "respect" from a woman when I just TELL them to go buy me something.


Who GIVES a sh*t if she doesn't like it? there's another hottie right over THERE.

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[Master Bates]

Sorry but its true, fellas.

-----------NOT MY OPINION! JUST what I see and observe as a woman------

Most of my girlfriends would be (and have been in past experiences) less attracted to a man who comes across as cheap... which is how you will come across. If you are cheap... how generous will you be in bed? If you are inconsiderate, how will that translate in terms of how you treat us in the future? Get where I'm going?

It is just a ritual that is expected, kind of like how it is expected for the man to pursue, and the woman to entice. Its one of the things about men and women. The ones of you who are constantly spouting off about how "man is the stronger sex" should understand some of the other implications, when dealing with the "fairer sex".

Besides, it is also a known and scientifically proven ;-) fact that men want bootie. Women know this. Women make men prove themselves worthy.

Don't get mad at me for saying it, its the way it IS.

Is there alternatives? Yeah. Is this the only way? Of course not. Are there women who won't think less of you? Sure. Really... there are...

^ What a crop of crap. Not paying for a dinner is indicative of how "generous he'll be in bed"? What kind of logic is that? Are you basically admitting that all women have a screw loose? It's an antiquated "ritual" now that old-school traditional dating is all but dead (which women killed), and women are basically making as much money as men. If a girl didn't want to have anything to do with me because I wasn't buying her food, I'd feel thankful for weeding out a ho.

Besides, it is also a known and scientifically proven ;-) fact that men want bootie. Women know this. Women make men prove themselves worthy.

And women don't? If you're on a date and you don't want bootie, what are you there for? A free meal? What makes you worthy? Wait wait, let me guess.....you have a vagina? Wow, you're quite the rare commodity.

I think women like you are just panicking because you realize that today's men are starting to come around and realize they don't have to spend money on women like they used to, and the women who do require a man to shell out free dinners aren't worth it. "Oh no, our free dinners! Damn you feminism, why did you have to go kill chivalry? WHYYYYY?"

 

[Mad Manic]

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Yeah, you're RIGHT, Iqqi, for MOST guys......


But Although i PAY almost every time, when I CHOOSE not to, or I TELL a girl to pay, she almost always DOES (Maybe I oughtta do that MORE)


And it seems to me that i get MORE "respect" from a woman when I just TELL them to go buy me something.


Who GIVES a sh*t if she doesn't like it? there's another hottie right over THERE.

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I think because in your age range or in the woman you tend to go for, they aren't being hounded by a plethora of men. Thus if they like you, they like you and little nitpicky things like whose paying for the coffee doesn't matter. If anything, her maturity combined with seeing you aren't a sucker is more of an attraction turn on.

As for 18-30 year old women, they have a lot of quality options, so if you make a small error there's another guy ready to take your position ASAP. They tend to be revelling in their pedestalised, power drive, bvtchy state and act upon that.

 

[BoredDude]

Whatever happened to being a gentlemen? Guys should always pay.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
Is there alternatives? Yeah. Is this the only way? Of course not. Are there women who won't think less of you? Sure. Really... there are...

And with that being said, it's surprising that more guys aren't seeking these women out and presenting their value in ways other than what they can buy. Besides, anyone can spend money; that takes no character what so ever. Women who believe that it does typically aren't very generous themselves (and I'm not talking about money).

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Whatever happened to being a gentlemen? Guys should always pay.

And those type of gentlemen didn't have sex with women unless they are married to them. If you are going to be a gentleman, go all the way; don't half step.