Why Protect Your Heart?

[up for da challenge]

I was reading through the lies of sosuave thread, and there was a point about protecting your heart, and it occured to me that this site had an advice about doing so.. but I have to ask.. why?

Just like everything else in life, experience is the best teacher. I'm sure many of you don't want a meaningless relationship, because why be in one other than the sex then. Me, I'm more of a relationship person, looking to have someone around to have fun with, not just swing around. This is my personal preference, and different people have their own.. but I realise the more I go through all these heartaches and mostly very painful ones, I learn faster, and I get used to the pain too. Now it doesn't hurt as much, and the pain doesn't last as long, but I still allow myself to love a person even if it risks being hurt a lot.. because in the end.. I'm the one who will gain more after these painful experiences.

If you start protecting your heart now, it'll leave you raw and inexperienced to the worst pain you'd ever know.. and if you don't go through that, I'd say you're not ready to fall in love and find a meaningful relationship in the future when you're looking to settle down. I know you most probably went through that already, because thats probably why most of you are here, but hey.. putting myself through all this is making myself stronger and I can feel it. My ex just dumped me for another guy and I still see them around together on an almost daily basis, cos she's very close with my group of friends. It hurts, it makes me feel jealous, inadequate, angry.. but the intensity of these feelings are not as bad as my first ever one-itis and the one I should probably thank is her for dumping me and making me feel as though my most recent breakup isn't that big a deal.

I wish I could go through more of these, but I simply can't find any girl I like at the moment. Thought this would be an interesting topic to discuss so go ahead.

 

[ManOMan]

getting hurt and feeling pain are all part of life's experiences, you cant avoid it, unless you want to lead an empty, shelterd life.

Thats like going through life with a surgical mask on everyday, because you dont want to catch a cold.

 

[DJSask]

"always remember that great love and great achievements require great risk"

 

[So pimp its scary]

The point about being aloof in your interactions with women isn't so much for the purpose of protecting your heart, per se.

Rather, being aloof is more just a way to make the woman try to get you to show more emotion, showing that she is not the only thing in your life.

It also comes down to what 'Robert Greene (art of seduction)' would call coquettishness, that is where you are warm in your interactions, and then other times you are cold, distant, aloof. It is a seductive quality because it forces the woman to think about what is wrong with her, and thinking about how she can figure you out... while she is doing all this thinking trying to figure you out, next thing she knows; shes in love with you and cant explain why... (why is because she thinks about you so much).

When you are aloof, there is the added benefit that you will have more difficulty in developping infatuation (oneitus) over this one particular girl.

 

[justjosh47]

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced..."- Soren Kierkegaard


Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward.

-Henry Ford

 

[PRMoon]

It just means don't go peddling your heart around to every super model or stripper wanna be that you meet at the bar. You have to be realistic with yourself. You don't want to pine over some one who in your head you know is going to end up hurting you. Commit yourself to the ones who are worth commiting too and the rest is fun and games and nothing more.

 

[NewMan]

PRMoon has it right...

I idea is to protect your heart until she proves that she's worthy enough to have it.

All to often guys fall in love with any chick who happens to show interest in them.... This is so that does not happen - and you protect yourself early on from getting hurt.

There is nothing UnDJ-like of openning up your heart to a woman who's worthy to have that treasure.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

You must protect your heart because it cannot or will not protect itself.

I'd actually take this one step farther than PRMoon here and say that it means you must temper love with reason and logic, otherwise it can too easily attach itself to anything you throw it at. Reminds me of one of those sticky-hands they use to sell in those quarter machines at the supermarket.

 

[Oxide]

Alright, protecting your heart is a good concept, but you dont want to bury it in the process..

I am still not quite certain how good AD's advice is. Human nature is the cause we feel all tingly when we think about a specific person, so how can u slience nature, or, rather, why should you?

You can fall for whoever you want, but dont come off too fast, the person you are falling for might not have the same loving thoughts about you. If you can get over a girl easy, which is a great skill to develop, then you can infatuate all you want.


The thing is, you hurt yourself thinking when/how/where and what you are going to do with this person, when you should be out there doing these things, you think WAY TOO MUCH. Hell, i do this all the time, but im working on it.

So dont be stone cold, but be rational. Good luck