"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Why men and women can't be friends
- Thread starter ARrocket
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
i was going to post this but you beat me to it.
Notice how each female answered "yes" to the questions:
1- can guys/ girls be just friends
AND
2- would some of your guy friends hook up with you.
Its a direct contradiction, but womens desire to see the world like they want to clearly influenced the first question despite the obviousness of the second question.
As for me, I would generally say no. There are a few chicks I wouldn't hook up with ( nor want to), and have been friends with them. However, they are few and far between, and I don't really see them often. When I think friends, I think of people I want to actively socialize with. Most women do not fit this bill.
Notice how each female answered "yes" to the questions:
1- can guys/ girls be just friends
AND
2- would some of your guy friends hook up with you.
Its a direct contradiction, but womens desire to see the world like they want to clearly influenced the first question despite the obviousness of the second question.
As for me, I would generally say no. There are a few chicks I wouldn't hook up with ( nor want to), and have been friends with them. However, they are few and far between, and I don't really see them often. When I think friends, I think of people I want to actively socialize with. Most women do not fit this bill.
backseatjuan
Banned
Along with my dating life I'm sicking female friends. They must be hot, way out of my league, and have lots of hot friends.
:yes:synergy1 said:
It also helps to serve a female's hidden agenda regarding what she gets out of this friendship. Women are not stupid they know when a certain guy wants to always hang with them as a friend that he really wants to get into their pants but they pretend otherwise.
If you are not fvcking her chances are that she is using you.
The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
DJDamage said:
+1 for both you and Synergy. Very much agreed.
The few female friends I have that are really friends, I see them more like sisters. Those types are few and far between, and in a general sense there is always an agenda for both parties. Guy wants to bang her, chick just wants the validation... even if it may not be totally obvious or conscious, to either of them.
Spend enough time hanging out with a "friend" and enjoy some drinks and such and eventually the sexual tension snaps. It always does.
I wonder, on the flip side, if the woman I have who are truly my friends may secretly want to get with me? Could go that way, too, I suppose.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
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Great quote!DJDamage said:
I think women just toss around the term 'friends'. You can actually not talk to a gal, not spend any time with her...and you are still 'friends'.
I've got some women that call me a friend, however I just don't have any time to spend with them because I choose to spend time with women I'm having sex with.
I actually spoke to a woman 'friend' last week, for all of about 5 minutes. I hadn't spoken to her in 6 months, 6 months! And she tells me she's glad I'm such a good friend to her.
dereklovesugly
Don Juan
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I have a couple female friends I also look at like sisters. I wonder the same thing as well at times. It's quite sad that men and women can't really have a true friendship.The Bad Ass Canadian said:
One of SoSuave's main tenets is to teach an AFC that friendship is not the route to sexual intimacy which I agree with 1000%.
That being said I think it's been corrupted into "You can't ever be friends with a female ever!!!!!" mentality which is something entirely different.
You know what happened yesterday? I found out I lost half of my finals notes. I called up a girl friend in the class who was a person I literally didn't talk to in over a year. We set up a meeting immediately, she let me borrow her notes life went on. I didn't want to fvck her, she didn't want to fvck me.
I have another close girlfriend who will literally let me borrow money (sometimes give me), let me crash at her place w/e if something were to ever happen to me in life. And she doesn't even ask much of me in return. We just chill and enjoy each others' presence.
Of course you can make the argument that "Girls can't be true friends like guys can!" But that's to be fvcking expected. Girls are biologically different, think differently than us, and have different values than men do partially based on society.
But to go through life claiming no man or woman can truly be friends is poppycvck.
That being said I think it's been corrupted into "You can't ever be friends with a female ever!!!!!" mentality which is something entirely different.
You know what happened yesterday? I found out I lost half of my finals notes. I called up a girl friend in the class who was a person I literally didn't talk to in over a year. We set up a meeting immediately, she let me borrow her notes life went on. I didn't want to fvck her, she didn't want to fvck me.
I have another close girlfriend who will literally let me borrow money (sometimes give me), let me crash at her place w/e if something were to ever happen to me in life. And she doesn't even ask much of me in return. We just chill and enjoy each others' presence.
Of course you can make the argument that "Girls can't be true friends like guys can!" But that's to be fvcking expected. Girls are biologically different, think differently than us, and have different values than men do partially based on society.
But to go through life claiming no man or woman can truly be friends is poppycvck.
BlackMack177
Don Juan
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but then again, what exactly is a 'true' friendship? Nowhere in the definition of friendship does it say that the none of the parties involved has romantic or sexual feelings for the other. friendship is people who are down for each other.dereklovesugly said:
I'd gladly take a female who was down for me as a friend, even if she doesn't want to fvck me. As long as she's a good friend I can find some other female to fvck. There's billions of them out there
with your definition, that means that no Husband and wife could ever be friends because they have romantic feelings, which is far from the truth because for any relationship to work right you should be at least friends with the person
I think the mistake guys make is that they try to use friendship as a portal into a relationship with the girl. While sometimes he does get the relationship, it is always better to start off by letting the chick know that you are interested in getting with her. Stealth friendship macking hardly ever works and usually ends up with the guy being a orbiting AFC while she's out getting with the guys who weren't afraid to game her right
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yes that is a mistake but if you reverse the equation to fit that of women it would read:BlackMack177 said:
"the mistake women make is that they try to use relationship as a portal into a friendship with the guy".
However the above quote isn't really a mistake because women do not suffer as much of men do when they get rejected for a friendship as ooposed to being rejected for intimacy. There are plenty of chumps around willing to sit around for hours and listen to her gum flaps and hope they can somehow get in there. Male friendships to a woman is a dime a dozen.
Women do not act around men the same as they act around other women in a so called "friendship mode", otherwise the majority of them would be intolerable to listen to. When a woman "hangs" around a male she uses the same techniques she does to attract men in order to keep him interested in her and what she has to say even though she might not be interested in him sexually. This confuses the hell out of men because even if they see the woman as a "friend", all those IOI's and signals she constantly throws out will make men think that they have a shot with her.
It is therefore why its best to avoid being close friends with women you want to bang because you are just going to be digging yourself a hole in the long run. If you want her more then a friend, make sure she knows about it early on before you fall into the "friendship zone" because the alternative shouldn't be an option.