Why "Just Be Yourself" is the worst advice ever

[lYlasTer]

“Just Be Yourself.” That’s all my lady friends told me when I asked for advice on women, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but it’s all they gave me. “You don’t want to have a woman end up liking you for someone you’re really not.” And if somehow you’re realizing that you’ve “been yourself” for the past 18 years and it hasn’t really been working, then “,you just have to be patient, the one will come to you soon.”Worst. Advice. Ever.When a man is asking for advice, it means he’s not satisfied with his situation and wants to make some positive changes. As far as I’m concerned, “if you keep doing the same thing, you’re to keep getting the same results”

Let’s say there’s this guy named Bob. (no offense if I’m about to describe you). He’s 29, still a virgin, extremely fat, lives at home with Mom, and spends 10 hours a day playing World of Warcraft. If he chooses to remain the same, then he will remain in his situation and continue to be unhappy.

“Don’t be yourself, be your BEST self”

What he should do is play an active role in improving himself. Hit the gym, move out and be independent, socialize more in real life than in a computer game, etc. Whatever he does, he should change according to his own standards and he should do it for himself.

Let’s just say a few months down the road he is starting to get more women, and high quality women because of the changes he made. Is he “fake” or deceiving these women because he changed? NO! Deep down he is the same person, but decided he wanted to make some positive changes in his life.

Rather than be the same and hope to get “lucky” , we should all strive to improve ourselves so that we can be the best version of ourselves.

 

[StoneColdFox]

There was a post similar to this.

When guys are told to just "be themselves" they slip into this clingy needy mode, that isn't really themselves. They allow themselves to be pushed around by women.

Yet, they get home and a female friend or relative tries to push them around yet he stands up for himself.. but he still loves those friends and relatives.

Same concept, you have to maintain your confidence and your identity, because alot of guys don't be themselves they be a sugarcoated clingy form of themselves.

 

[lYlasTer]

To be honest, this site has been around so long that pretty much everything has been said before. It's just every post we write is to guide the AFC's toward Don Juan'ism and and help them in case they missed the concept the first time again.

 

[jtrain 289]

Lol thats were your wrong man i find everyone on this website has misunderstood the concept of being yourself. Being yourself is keep loyalty to your dreams.Being clingy and needy is not being yourself because if you live your dreams you naturally will not be needy or clingy. So actuyally girls are right when they tell us this its just we misunderstand them.

 

[jtrain 289]

I have a question for you IYLaster do you think if yoru someone that generally acts retarded like always does wierd stuff but has fun doing them that that is somerthign thats supoosed to be changed? Or do you think he should keep acting like this as long as he's having fun and being himself

 

[backbreaker]

i most a post about this somewhere.... the problem with "just be yourself" is because they didn't finish the sentence.

it should state:

"just be yourself.. but if yourself sucks.. then become a better overall person.. then just be yourself"

 

[Street_Fighter]

I have a question for you IYLaster do you think if yoru someone that generally acts retarded like always does wierd stuff but has fun doing them that that is somerthign thats supoosed to be changed? Or do you think he should keep acting like this as long as he's having fun and being himself

He who constantly bends himself for the sake of others will led an unhappy existance indeed


Do what you want.It's the rebels and dreamers that change the world,let the sheep and the repressed have their dreams robbed from them in the face of fear.

 

[Mr.Positive]

"just be yourself.. but if yourself sucks.. then become a better overall person.. then just be yourself"

:crackup: Now that's a quote to remember!! Simple...honest...and straight to the point.

I almost fell out of my chair laughing from this one...thanks!

 

[Frink']

People usuallt missunderstand "Just be your self."

It means, be your best self. If you have no confidence and no communication skills, learn them, get experience and self develop. So many people read self-developmentstuff and never actually develop from it.

Just be yourself means to be the best developed person you can be.

 

[knowbull]

Oh, be your best self? I understand now! I'm getting laid for sure now.

 

[Public_eNemy]

lol
as if every guy being theirself knew how to be successful with women..
I hate that advice too...

 

[ElStud]

Actually think about it this way, if you were being true to yourself and doing whatever you felt like, you would get women because they'd be seeing it was the real you and not some routine. Being afraid to approach is NOT being yourself.

 

[ChrizZ]

Actually think about it this way, if you were being true to yourself and doing whatever you felt like, you would get women because they'd be seeing it was the real you and not some routine. Being afraid to approach is NOT being yourself.

So if some WoW nerd went to a hot chick and would try to talk to her about the latest computer technology he´d get laid like a rockstar because he was "doing whatever he felt like"?

 

[lYlasTer]

So if some WoW nerd went to a hot chick and would try to talk to her about the latest computer technology he´d get laid like a rockstar because he was "doing whatever he felt like"?

That's the point I'm trying to make. Being yourself alone is not enough and you should strive to improve yourself.

 

[tmpgstx]

The geeks have it the worst because most girls aren't as technical. I've met like two that are what i'd consider tech savvy etc.

Geeks are often social outcasts and most girls are very social (or want to be). Being outgoing, and outspoken seems to be the going thing right now.

 

[ElStud]

So if some WoW nerd went to a hot chick and would try to talk to her about the latest computer technology he´d get laid like a rockstar because he was "doing whatever he felt like"?

If he's a nerd he's gonna be shy and most likely not say everything he wants to, he's going to care too much. Being yourself is not caring and just saying whatever the heck you want not caring how the women responds. If a persons a geek they most likely do care about how a women reacts and they won't say/do whatever they want because of fear of rejection. Being yourself is basically just letting loose, doing whatever you want and not caring what anybody else thinks. Caring and being shy is not yourself.

 

[KryptonCK]

When women say be yourself,they mean "be a man",look good,smell good,be funny,don't telegraph too much interest and be creative-all in one.

 

[jtrain 289]

elstud is hammered it the geek only talks about that because he is trying to hidfe what he really wants to talk about. But if he did talk about the latest computer technology and thats what he wanted to talk about he could get the chick because he will have alot of confidence talking about it.