Why it never last, and what to do about it!

[Desire]

Ever wonder why relationships tend to last just a couple of years, often even shorter? This might be the answer:

"Zing! Cupid’s arrow skewers a primitive part of the brain. Obediently, we fall in love amid showers of passionate fireworks, bond for a time … and then often get fed up with each other and grow irritable or numb. Perhaps we try to remodel our mate, seek solace online, or pursue a new love interest. Ancient sages recognized this biological snare and hinted at a way to dodge it: use lovemaking to balance one another and harmony arises naturally.

With an entertaining blend of personal experiences, the latest neuroscience, and forgotten insights from around the globe, Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow confronts current assumptions about sex and love and offers a refreshing, practical approach to sexuality."

This is why you should not watch to much porn, and have lesser orgasms even if you are in a relationship. The release of dopanmine and the aftereffekt causing your mood and relationship to be in a rollercoaster mode.

Very interesting book:

http://www.amazon.com/Cupids-Poisoned-Arrow-Harmony-Relationships/dp/1556438095

By lesser orgasm it means not that you stop your favcking, but rather use Karezza love technique.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

I agree with what you have presented. And you should further research the dopamine overload event as I found it very interesting (and check the coolridge effect). But on the relationship topic, I feel like most relationships fail because they are founded on lust, sex, and looks. After the attraction of looks and lust gets stale, you're left with an incompatible partner who greatly differs on your interest, morals, etc. Your sosuave games of push-pull even begin to fail and such.

However, if this relationship was based on friendship, you guys will always have something there as far as connection goes. Sex would not be the sole glue keeping you two together per say. The main problem with this friendy relationship though, is that you're often placed into the inivetable friend zone, or the woman doesn't view you as alpha enough. Pretty much how women say they want the nice guy but never fall for him.

There are exceptions, but I guess you have to know how to screen your women. If you met her at a bar or club, and she approached you based on your looks I would NOT try to build a relationship with her. If you have sex with a woman before being in a meaningful relationship, I don't think she could be LTR material either, as sex is incorrectly building the relationship, and not your personalities and compatibility.

 

[jacob]

Well I haven't actually read your link yet, but skimming through your post and response it kinda makes sense.

Society has once again become corrupt morally with rampant pornagraphy, MTV and the "hook up culture" that has been propogated in recent years.

Many no longer have the truth of why we we're created male and female, and so it follows that relationships built on this "culture of death" seem to fail.

I'm sure if everyone, males and females had a correct understanding of our roles and why we were created then relationships would prosper, but with the media and "their" agenda with malicious intentions to corrupt societies morals, this generation is brainwashed.

There is a cure though. If you want to know the truth then I suggest those interested read up on Pope John Paul II "Theology of the Body".

Here's a link to get you started

http://www.theologyofthebody.net/

 

[jacob]

Here's some audio explanations on Theology of the body.

Makes it a lot more simple than reading.

It gets very interesting in the later segments. Worth listening to in the background while surfing the net.

http://www.ewtn.com/vondemand/audio/seriessearchprog.asp?seriesID=7064

 

[Aaron B]

personally I don't worry about why

accepting the reality that whatever relationship you are currently in or about to enter will most likely end is all that i concern myself with

 

[DanelMadr]

Actually I think that what one needs is:

to know and love yourself (not AFC like though) as opposed to drown in jealousy, intolerance, inferiority complexes, respect demanding or approval/love seeking - being an emotionally balanced individual is the answer

to choose a partner wisely as opposed to giving up to fear and ego (I need A girlfriend/sex to feel or look better) - because next conditions take two to tango

to make a constant effort to keep it alive - falling into routine spoils it

eventually bring 3rd, 4th etc. person....I don't mean her twin sister and friend, you azz....I mean make her pregnant and love her bc she gave birth to those little annoying cute copies of you two

well, that's my theory...still working on first and second condition....not going so ell so far

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

I agree with the other poster that lust is the problem. Sex can stitch things up for a few days but you'll eventually start to think "should I be with this woman for the next 50 yrs b/c we have decent sex today" Anything of this world can fail, especially love that isnt built correctly. I wont lie, my ltr of 3 yrs, b/c of her body. However Ii started flirting with girls heavily, and approacing any girl with a nicer body,particularly a nicer butt. I actually landed a hotter girl,nicer body and butt. Dumped my ltr so Ii could go sleep with the girl. Especially the way things are today,fb,pof,etc. You're now connected with thousands of people you would've never seen. If you relationship is built on something so basic like lust, it will fail.

 

[Mike32ct]

Nature only wants us together for say three years max. It's enough time to get together and reproduce.

As a practical matter, competition is fierce too. If I had a nickel for every thread about, "I F-ed this chick with a boyfriend" or "How do I F this chick with a boyfriend" I could retire. So even if you have a relationship, you have ten sausages trying to destory it.

 

[metoo]

so who says it has to last for 20 years or more, anyway? Sheesh, that is a LONG time to be with ANY one person on a daily basis. You coudln't stand your MALE best friend around you daily,much less in the same house, for that long, much less the "different' way women look at nearly everything chafin at you! Most men just aren't "wired" that way and it's just stupid to go against your hardwiring, or be upset when you can't. Set your life up to go with the odds, man and you will beat your head up a lot less!

3 years is a LONG ways from raising a kid PROPERLY. that takes 20 years plus. What a jerk.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Nature only wants us together for say three years max. It's enough time to get together and reproduce.

As a practical matter, competition is fierce too. If I had a nickel for every thread about, "I F-ed this chick with a boyfriend" or "How do I F this chick with a boyfriend" I could retire. So even if you have a relationship, you have ten sausages trying to destory it.

That is why women can be so picky for LTRs though. Because about 99% of the guys that are tying to fvck her while she has a BF, don't meet her criteria.

The other day I was hanging out at school with this girl that's into me. We've known each other forever, hooked up a few times, but never had sex or discussed a serious relationship.

Some guy came and started talking to us at school, he was older and I asked her "Is that one of your profs?" and she said "No, some grad student that keeps asking me out.. I keep making up excuses to not go out with him."

I said to her "Why don't you? He's a handsome guy and he looks like he just walked out of a calvin klein catalogue." Then she replied "Oh, he's just not my type. He's too responsible."

This girl is pretty fvckin hot btw. The hotter they are, the pickier they are. That shouldn't keep ANYONE from the approach though.