Why is this always the default "advice" of women?

[El Payaso]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Because they say communication is key. Unfortunately most people don't realize the games that women play. But good communication is really important. It cuts through all bs drama.

 

[Trunks]

Talking about concerns before they become problems does work.

 

[Serenity]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

Because if you cannot it then the relationship is fvcked and in fact does not exist at all.

If you feel like avoiding talking to your girl about something, then your relationship is fvcked. If you know you'll get sh!t for bringing it up, then your relationship is fvcked.

In any and all cases regarding a relationship, if you cannot communicate, the relationship is fvcked. So yeah "talk to her about it" is excellent advice, either you do it or you realize the relationship is fvcked already. Solves the problem of "what the fvck do I do?", go talk or fvck it all, that's what you do.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Talking does work. Communicate your concerns. If she's a good woman, she will take heed (mostly because she's scared to lose you)

 

[9Volt]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

I don't mind talking to a chick I'm dating if an issue comes up. Same shyt I'd do to anyone else or they could do with me.

but I'll only mention it twice in direct conversation. if it gets ignored? I simply give them enough rope to hang themselves with till I'm done and end it while moving forward on my own.

 

[sazc]

Because a female that values you and the relationship is going to want you to be happy, so she is going to listen and want to figure out a mutual solution.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

Compared to what, sending smoke signals and hope everything works out?

What other options are there besides:

1) Ignore it and hope the problem fixes itself
2) Leave and find another girl
3) Behave differently (including ghosting) and hope she picks up on it and somehow "fixes" everything

(or if you assume issue is all you, you could try doing different things and hope she doesn't bail before the behavioral experiment ends)

 

[El Payaso]

Talking does work. Communicate your concerns. If she's a good woman, she will take heed (mostly because she's scared to lose you)

Because a female that values you and the relationship is going to want you to be happy, so she is going to listen and want to figure out a mutual solution.

I agree with these two. They're basically the same thing.

 

[sazc]

Communication is one of the most scary thinks to do in a relationship. You are choosing to open up and risk being dismissed emotionally and therefore hurt. But doing this reveals the depth of feelings of the other person, as well as their communication competence.

 

[BeExcellent]

Talking is good advice because let's face it, we all flunked mind reading.

You can misunderstand someone else on the most innocuous things. Without good communication and transparency of expectations people eventually get hurt feelings and relationships fail.

 

[Infern0]

From a slightly more nefarious angle, women love talking because generally they are better at verbal manipulation than men. That is they can use "talking" to get what they want out of 90% of men.

This is why recently i have activley avoided certain topics on things. Things like "why don't you text more" "why wont you commit to exclusivity" or the "why are you mad" if im letting them feel some distance because they done goofed.

Things like this sure they wanna "talk" so they can guilt and manipulate into getting their own way.

In these cases though once they realize its just not up for discussion they generally come correct.

In all honesty "talking" in a relationship is rarely a good thing, non-verbal communication is far more important and as a man you want to avoid "talking" as much as possible. The more "talking" = the worse condition your relationship is in.

High attracion = minimal "talking"

Lower attraction = they start getting bitchy and demanding = more "talking"

 

[BeExcellent]

I think this is exactly what @sazc is getting at.

At some point you actually have to hash something out, high interest or not.

If a woman says "Why don't you text more" or "why don't you commit", etc., then it's bugging her.

So all you do is give a simple answer:

"Texting is not a high priority all day/I don't like texting unless there's information needed right now..." Give an answer, stick by it & move on.

"We aren't committed because I'm not in a place where I want to commit"...

Give an answer & own that answer.

Too many people fear communication because they don't know if they have the cojones to stand up for what they really want or need.

They fear consequences of the communication.

This is due to a scarcity mindset, not women & verbal manipulation. Don't stand for manipulation. Don't allow it. Call it out and communicate it is not tolerable.

 

[Trump]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

Bro what do you want them say?

'You are right, she is wrong. Wait for her to call you and apologize and have make up sex with you, In the meantime go have sex with other girls because it's not your fault in the relationship.'

Unless you are a movie star, that's not going to happen.

 

[logicallefty]

People say "talk to them about it" because they want to help but don't know what else to say.

I think talking is the most over rated thing in our society when you want change/action out of someone. Many people these days are infested with selective memory retention and seem to conveniently forget to agreeing to things they don't want to do. Whenever I am with a woman and I want serious action out of her, I do it through text, Email, or FB so I have a written record of what she agreed to do, or not do. Verbal words from people when I want change or action from them tend to have no more value to me than the sh|t I flushed this morning. This is especially true with work and women, but it can also roll over with friends and family too. At least in my experience.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

This is why recently i have activley avoided certain topics on things. Things like "why don't you text more" "why wont you commit to exclusivity" or the "why are you mad" if im letting them feel some distance because they done goofed.

I mean you can translate this to a societal value. If she says something like that, just tell her how you need some space too because 'everyone does really'. Or say that clingy behavior is never good for a relationship because it 'shows insecurity in the relationship', just something like that.

You guys can translate DJ value into societal values. You can even manipulate some societal values into DJ values as well.

 

[Von]

Communication leads to understanding
Understanding leads to Action
Action to Resolve
Resolve to Peace
Peace to Sex
Sex to a Happiness
Happiness to Freedom

Or don't communicate and no act leads to War and Breakup

If you don't communicate, you can't understand... if you understand you know who to solve the issue and how you have to ACT.

 

[nismo-4]

These women never tell you to spend more time talking to other women or giving her space and playing Nintendo, do they? Of course not, and the fact there's no technology for men to read women's minds doesn't help.

Sometimes, you gotta just bite the bullet.

 

[wifehunter]

Mere, talking doesn't solve problems. Adult discussions with levelheaded adults, on the other hand, do.

 

[sazc]

So, as a female I should "give sex sparingly" because that is my currency? That's a bit too passive aggressive, for me.
Higher quality females are going to take a lack of attention as a bona fide lack of IL, and they will walk.
JFYI