Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Why is she doing this?

Elf2

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Nighthawk said:
She sounds like a nice girl who likes you as a friend. Why do you feel unworthy of that?
To be honest and not give you a bull**** answer, I've never really had any female friends. This girl is very good looking in my opinion, but does not have many friends...which is why she probably turned to me.

As you can probably tell already...I don't have any confidence at all or self esteem, I'm working on that too.

I guess we can be considered friends. Although our defintions of a "friend" may vary. How would I go about verifying that we are? I know that sounds werid. The only reason I ask this is because she never talks to me outside of school. Actually there aren't many chances either. Couple months ago she took my phone from my hand and put her number in it without me asking for it; never bothered to text her; didn't want to be annoying. And the only other place I could talk to her would be online...but I'm terrible at doing that kinda of stuff...especially with girls...because the way I talk relys alot on my tone of voice and the way I say it, very hard to do with text.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mr_rogers

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shydude said:
U really sound like ur lost.. She definatelly thinks ur gay.. I mean u said u always shy.. never talk,, U sound GAY.. And ur soft.. So u better become a man and start living what ur missin..
Shut up. Just shut... UP!

My entire time at this site (what, 2 weeks?) has been filled with your idiocy. Please, do us all a favor and SHUT THE HELL UP!

*ahem*

As I'm sure you've noticed, this guy doesn't want to get with this girl. She's got a boyfriend, and he's just curious as to why she talks to him so much. That's all he's asking. He didn't ask for your, or anyone else's opinions on how he should attract this girl, nor did he ask anything about becoming a DJ. He either isn't ready to make those steps, or doesn't want to. So please... Answer the question that is being asked, and quit reading into **** that doesn't even apply, for the sake of everyone else's sanity.

As for your question, Elf2, it sounds like she's just treating you like she would with any of her friends. She's just talking, because that's what women love to do. You're letting her talk about all of her problems and stuff, which is fine, and you're talking about yours as well. There isn't anything wrong with that.

The only thing that you need to watch out for is that if you do start to develop feelings for her (which I think may happen...), you could end up in a very tight spot. You'll already have exposed your "sensitive" side, so you may have a tough time with it.

Either way, it sounds like she's just being friendly. The best way to become better friends with her is to ask her to do things outside of class. Just be very careful that you don't seem to be trying to contend with her bf for her "attentions", should you decide to try to get to know her better.

I wish you all the best, and if you need more advice later on, we'll be here to help!

Mr. R
 

Elf2

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Thing is Mr.R, is that I don't see this girl talk to that many people, nor does she have many friends. And I have not yet seen the way she acts around me around anyone else... There most be more/other reasons why she is doing this...

Thanks for replying!
 

Muphaser

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Maybe you 2 just "click" and have a lot in common? Or you may remind her of some1 she feels she once knew.

Jus carry on having a good time
 

Elf2

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Muphaser said:
Maybe you 2 just "click" and have a lot in common? Or you may remind her of some1 she feels she once knew.

Jus carry on having a good time
Hm. Dunno about that one...

Is there anything else I can do to increase our friendship? Should I talk to her outside of school? Or just let her do it first?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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dannowillbookem

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girls and boys, men and women, always think about eachother sexually. if there isnt the smallest amount of sexual attraction between a man and a woman, they will not be friends. in this light, it is technically impossible to be complete and total 'just friends' between a man and a woman and for both sides to be satisfied (unless its your sister)...(i hope!).

if you continue on like this, she will become bored, her sexual attraction for you will die down, and she'll start treating you like shiit. if you wanna keep things going as a friend, you have to slap ass every now and then. dont go grabbing tits or anything, just make sure that

a) she sees you in a sexual light
b) she is sure you are straight


being seen in a sexual light will steady her attraction, as she knows you are a sexy ass stud and love the pusssy but you arent fuccking her, leaving an unconquered field.

being gay is a sure ticket to being a girls friend (since they know you dont want them and they cant have you, creating an off limits and raising attraction) however this is pretty much fuccking retarded since youre not a known homosexual in your social setting (school) and making her think you are is detrimental to getting pvssy.

and then, you can self explore to find out if you are indeed gay (not saying you are, but if people get the impression, there is a chance.)


again, this IS a reply on how to stay/increase your friendship.
 

Elf2

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I'm pretty sure I'm not gay...very sure...actually.

So I have to tease her, make fun of her, play with her...all in a nice way..all jokingly? Keep her intrested in me? Make me a cool, fun guy to be with? I think I understand...

Still one thing that I need clarification on: how do I go about talking to her outside of school or even possibly hanging out (keep in mind she has a BF)..I don't want it to seem like I'm trying so hard to talk to her or even worse...be annoying.

thanks.
 

Elf2

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Mctwist4 said:
If she was crushing on you and did not have a b/f, would you persue her?
No, shes too high for me. I would rather be very good friends.
 

dannowillbookem

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Elf2 said:
No, shes too high for me. I would rather be very good friends.
BAD ADITUDE. no ones too high for you. what makes her better? is she good looking? who gives a shiit? cause shes so perfect? no she isnt, everyone has flaws, ecspecially girls. you have to remember you are worth it. you are a prize and a stud at that. go to the dj bible, click on "jerks vs nice guys" and read the first article...its by a guy named "Pook".

anyways, you obviously will know some things you two have in common. both like coffee like me and my friend anna? see if she wants to go to the new starbucks after school and have a cup. both like indie music? see if she wants to go some night to a local band show. remember, you're MUCH less likely to get a no if you ask for a weekday, and ask a few days before. ask on a tuesday for coffee on thursday and if she says no, try wednesday. or, if she knows you guys are just buds, you can just hangout at someones house. your biggest concern though is getting your ass beat by some boyfriend or turning a bunch of guys against you cause they think your hitting/spending too much time with someones girlfriend.

tread lightly.
 

Elf2

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We've talked about my attitude and stuff like that. We've talked about my apperance aswell. She says I have potential to be better, but I'm still OK, nothing terrible.

EDIT: Actually, come to think of it...I've asked other friends of mine (guys and girls) to compare me to a girl that matches me in terms of the same level of looks, the people that they've listen blew my mind, people who I thought were completely out of my league. Either they were being very nice, didn't get what I was asking or I just to think to lowly of myself. Probably the third one. I have no confidence, I know I need to work on that...
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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dannowillbookem

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Elf2 said:
We've talked about my attitude and stuff like that. We've talked about my apperance aswell. She says I have potential to be better, but I'm still OK, nothing terrible.

EDIT: Actually, come to think of it...I've asked other friends of mine (guys and girls) to compare me to a girl that matches me in terms of the same level of looks, the people that they've listen blew my mind, people who I thought were completely out of my league. Either they were being very nice, didn't get what I was asking or I just to think to lowly of myself. Probably the third one. I have no confidence, I know I need to work on that...

workout get that testosterone pumping, clean your look up so you can look in the mirror and say god i look nice. i used to absolutely love my own self (not a terribly good thing, but definetly better than hating myself) and i'm trying to get that back. you should get it too, its great.

no ones out of your league, no ones too good for you.
 
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